Incubation
by DewdropLotus
Summary: God has a terrible sense of humor and Kanda isn't laughing. And probably won't be...for nine more months. AllenxKandaxAllen, Mpreg!Kanda. Written to prove that it can be done right.
1. Apprehension

_**A/N: **I've been working on this one for a good while as a challenge to myself and from a few other people who may not have thought I could pull it off. Oh you silly people. I'm fuckin **me**. I can do **anything**. So yes, lemme get this warning out for you squicky people_

_I will change the rating to Rated M in the future, for sexytiems, violence, Kanda, and strong ideologically sensitive situations.  
><em>

_And Yes, MPREG!Kanda._

_I totally fuckin went there._

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><p><strong>Incubation<strong>_  
>Part One<em>

"Augh…I'm still hungry…"

"How can you still be hungry? You ate a banquet table worth of food…"

"Lavi, you just don't understand…My innocence just dissolves it like sugar in water. No matter how much I eat, I feel like I could eat more…" He sighed and rested his head on the table, looking over at the redhead with a bland expression.

"You're just bored, aren't you?" Lavi chuckled and took a bite from his modest plate. His lonely eye sparkled in mirth, laughing at the silly teen sitting next to him. Allen seemed to be a little down prior to food, but seemed to pick up just a bit once he'd inhaled enough to feed a small army.

"I might be…I dunno," Allen remarked, stealing a piece of bread from the unsuspecting Lavi. Munching on it, he leaned up on his arm. "The last mission still bothers me…and when I think, eating just goes with it."

"Oh? What's up? I thought the last mission was all pancakes and waffles."

"…Pancakes….and waffles sound good…" Allen groaned and stared longingly into space.

"Heeeey."

"Hm? Oh, yeah. It went fine…Except losing the Innocence. Which still…I cannot wrap my head around it. I just…can't… it's been bothering me for weeks now."

"Maybe it got destroyed in all the mayhem? I mean, you went with Yuu…and I know how those missions go when it gets sticky."

"Can you remember the last mission Kanda went on that he didn't bring an Innocence back safely? It's few and far between...Just we searched everywhere and there was no trace of it. I can't help but feel like we didn't look hard enough…"

Lavi leaned forward, smiling softly, "you want to go back and look for it?"

"Yes…well, I know there's been no sign of it…So there's no point. There are finders still there…But I feel like we failed. Or we missed something. Or something. I don't know!" Allen sat back again, feeling fidgety. Every minute or so he was changing his position. Sitting straight, leaning on his arm, stealing the occasional bit off Lavi's plate…none of these things satisfied the antsy itch that kept flaring up. It wasn't just the Innocence issue that was bothering him now. It was a collection of events that took place during the mission.

"Maybe you should go talk to Komui. He doesn't seem to be too concerned about it. I'm sure he could relieve some of the stress you've been bottling up."

"I know…I just don't want to bother him. If it's just me being stupid…I don't want to seem like I'm obsessing."

Lavi held up a hand and gave Allen a big grin, "you kinda are, buddy. Haha, I mean; I thought you seemed off yesterday, but I think you're just rockin' these thoughts too hard in that noggin of yours. You'll die of brain hemorrhage if you don't just let it go."

Allen patted Timcanpy, who was resting on the table next to a pile of dishes that the boy had trounced. It wasn't like him to obsess over something that everyone else deemed complete, solved and filed away…But Kanda was acting…

Weird.

Weirder than usual; meaner than usual.

Maybe that was what was really bothering him. The Innocence was just an easy thing to blame everything on. Well, no, that did bother him. It really did bother him. More than a lot. Innocence doesn't just…vanish. Kanda was holding it. It was in their bag. Then the attack happened…and it was just gone by morning. No trace, no nothing. They didn't even see an Akuma or Noah or anything go anywhere close to where the Innocence had been stored with them.

Then his own Innocence started acting weird. Crown Clown deactivated itself just touching Kanda's shoulder and that…never, ever had happened before. He chalked it up to being tired and lacking food, but the longer he was away, the more he thought and the less likely it seemed. But he didn't really know, he was being paranoid and stupid and worrying about Innocence and Kanda and everything ever.

"AUGH," Allen stood and nearly caused a landslide of dishes that almost scared Lavi out of his seat. The redhead took a breath and prayed, wide-eyed, that the tower of plates wouldn't topple. "I'm going to go see Komui."

"Ah…okay…Do you want me to help you move the public safety hazard here?" Before Allen could even answer, he was already half out of his seat, with his hands in front of him, ready to either catch or run from the stack if it decided it was no longer going to defy the laws of gravity.

"Would you?"

"Of course, buddy. Anything for a friend~."

Between the two of them, they carefully stacked and restacked plates; moving around each other very cautiously…so as not to anger the Dishes Deity. Lavi had to hand it to the beansprout; he could put away more food than he'd seen men three times his size eat. That was, of course, because of his Innocence; but still, it was strangely intriguing. It was just as intriguing as the idea of Timcanpy eating. Well, almost. Timcanpy eating a full sandwich still baffled Lavi. It was fun to watch Tim and Allen snap at each other over food, though.

"I think we got them all, Beansprout."

"_Allen._"

"Haha, let's go drop these off and I'll walk with ya to see Komui. I have nothing else to do. Other than sleep, though that does sound good too."

The British teen gave off a little chuckle, dodging a chair in his path. "You really don't have to come with me. I'm not really losing it that hard. It's just an itch that's clawing at me, that's all."

"Well, suit yourself. Just thought I'd offer. Komui's probably just sleeping at his desk anyway."

"Probably…"

Timcanpy flew just ahead of Allen, guiding the way for the two of them until the end of the Dish Returning journey. Despite the massive collection of dinnerware, the people who received them seemed to be pleased as ever to see Allen. _Some people really love their jobs_, Allen mused. He wasn't so sure how much he would love having to clean up after one of his meals. It wasn't until he came to the Black Order that he realized that people don't normally shovel in quite as much as he did. Well, he knew that normal people eat less…but not _that_ much less. One plate?

Wasn't even a snack.

It was a before-snack, snack.

"Thank you!" He called to Jerry as he left with Lavi. Timcanpy smacked into his head and he turned with a grunt, ready to whine at the golden golem, when he skidded to a stop, straining his body and flailing his arms to keep from toppling right over Lenalee. "Hnnng! Ahhh…." Panting, he cracked a smile, "I didn't…even see you there."

"Ah…it's…okay, I wasn't paying attention either," she waved distractedly. "I was just…not paying attention, that's all."

"Are _you_ okay, Lenalee?" Lavi blinked at her, looking from Allen, then back to her. "Everyone is acting weird."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking, that's all."

"Hmmm, beansprout has been doing a lot of that _thinking_ thing lately too."

"It's Allen, Lavi…And I'm going to Komui to fix that now. He'll know what to say to make me stop thinking about it." Silver eyes cast the taller teen a heated glare. Silently, he damned Kanda for starting that _beansprout_ nickname.

"Er…Kanda's with my brother at the moment," she smiled again—but it wasn't hard for the Bookman Jr. to see that the smile was strained. _Hiding something. _

"Wait, he's with your brother _again?_"

Allen's head snapped in Lavi's direction, eyes widening in slight concern. Kanda had been avoiding him for a little while, but he'd gotten no impression that something was wrong enough to require Komui's assistance for more than one visit. Especially knowing that Kanda tried to avoid being in Komui's presence longer than necessary—which was actually something the Japanese man seemed to do with everyone…but still. "What do you mean _again?_"

"He was in there yesterday and a few days ago. I saw him in Komui's office. I wonder if something is wr—Allen?"

Before Lavi could even reach him, he was already darting down the hall. That would have them asking questions later, he knew. But he was already getting paranoid about every little thing and the one other person that was with him on the mission was also acting weird. Not that Kanda was _normal_ by any stretch of the imagination, but Kanda also had the nice ability to shrug off injuries like it was dusting off his jacket. Last he knew, his Innocence was in peak condition as well.

He didn't want to assume anything, but even Lavi seemed surprised that Kanda went to Komui more than once within the same week.

His pace slowed to a brisk walk, the closer to Komui's office he got. Making a scene would only get Kanda's fist shoved violently down his throat. For what affection he could get out of the frigid bastard, he seemed to make up for it by earning his rage tenfold. Everything pissed the swordsman off anyway, but Allen had a special way of pissing him off to an expressive point. Lavi once told him that before he arrived, no one ever angered Kanda to the point of the vicious snarling fights they had. At least not in the way Allen managed.

Timcanpy zoomed ahead of him and squeezed his way under the closed door of Komui's office, much to Allen's dismay. "Timcanpy!" The harsh whisper was ignored by his golem, who was already long gone. "Damnit…you can't just…ah…" Standing at the end of the hall, he tried to figure out a way to explain his intrusion. He wanted to just run in and ask _"okay, what the hell is going on._". But his concern and paranoia would make Kanda jump-kick his face in.

Scratching his head, he finally steeled himself to being a gentleman and simply decided to knock on the door. It wasn't like they knew he was standing out there looking like some kind of lunatic. They also didn't know that he was aware of Kanda's presence, so he'd just play it off like nothing was wrong.

Before his knuckles would even rap the door once, he heard a loud crash come from within the room. Without even thinking, he took the door handle and turned it; swinging the door open and peering in. "I heard a crash is everything oka—"

It didn't even take the full second of peering in to connect eyes with Kanda. It wasn't like Kanda was hard to miss and actually, he appeared to be the reason for the crashing sound…as also evidenced by the broken glass and water spilling off the table—the poor flowers falling out of the vase helplessly. From where he was standing, it looked like Kanda's legs collided with the table. How, he didn't know…but the man's shins were pressed against the edge of the table almost painfully looking.

That was easily brushed away by the look Kanda was giving him.

It was possibility the scariest thing he'd ever seen…and it wasn't even an angry expression. Those dark eyes were wide, as if his very presence had just mind fucked him and turned him to stone.

"I'm sorry…I heard a crash, I was…just…about to knock…" His voice felt smaller and smaller the longer Kanda's gaze refused to break. It almost seemed like the man stopped breathing all together. What in the hell had just taken place before he came in? It was like Kanda had just been told Mugen had been destroyed.

"Allen…is there something I can help you with?" Komui wavered, trying not to appear like he was as shaken as he was by Kanda's outburst.

"I was just…Uh…" The British boy stammered; eyes not able to leave Kanda.

Finally, the dark haired man snapped out of his state of astonishment and moved faster than Allen had thought possible, darting directly at him. At first, he thought Kanda was going to kill him…then he realized that Kanda pushed passed him like he was running from death itself.

Kanda fled.

What he just fled… Allen was at a huge loss for that answer.

His paranoia sky rocketed beyond his mind's ability to contain. "What the hell just happened?" He blurted and looked to Komui.

"I…I will have to get back to you on that Allen. He needs to cool down and think for a moment. Was there something bothering you? Besides that of course?"

Komui looked tired. He looked like he was ready to crash right there and after seeing Kanda's state, he was certain that the swordsman was partially responsible for it. Suddenly, Allen felt like his little mental tick could be saved for later. "Uh…never mind. I'll come back. You look like you should lay down for a bit, Komui."

"Are you sure Allen? If there's something wr—"

"I'm super sure!" He waved his warms in response, "I'm not coming for anything dire. I'll just pop on by later tonight or in the morning or something. I'll just be on my way!" It was an awkward feeling he was having. He almost felt nervous; like he was trying to hold in just how concerned Kanda had just made him.

A smack against the back of his skull made him wheel around, his heart jumping into his throat before he realized it was just Timcanpy. He was so on edge it was making him feel silly. "Timcanpy, don't do that…" It was him trying to cover up his panic that caused him to talk to the flying creature.

But in doing so, a thought struck him like lightning.

_Timcanpy…was in the room before the crash…I wonder if he saw….._

"Sorry to bother you, Komui!" The stammer fell off his tongue like an awkward dancer. The words just slid off, but crashed when he ran out of ways to make it sound nonchalant. "I'll come back later," he muttered again, back away from the door with a huge—extremely forced—grin.

Shutting the door, he stared at Timcanpy. Almost feeling guilty for what he was about to do. Spying on them wasn't the original intent…but he was going to turn it into the convenient intent.

He wanted to know what the hell was going on and if it had anything to do with what was making him feel so damned uncomfortable since that mission.

**To Be Continued…**

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><p><em>AN Just how scared are you folks, now? _


	2. Truth

**Incubation**_  
>Part Two <em>

Allen stared blankly at the hologram projecting from Timcanpy.

He wasn't sure exactly how to describe the feeling that was coursing through him, but what he did know was that his body needed air at some point. It took effort to suck in that bit of breath to alleviate the burning sensations in his lungs. Between that, and the pounding of his heart—painfully thumping—he was feeling like he needed a sedative.

He rewatched the short scene as recalled by Timcanpy…at least five times, just to verify that he actually saw what he saw and that he wasn't just hallucinating the most outrageous nonsense his paranoid brain could concoct. He asked Timcanpy to play it back, once more even. From the time the golem had snuck under the door, to the time Allen swung in, enough had happened to really…just…

…Nothing short of blow Allen's mind, if this was in context.

And from the look on Kanda's face…Oh this was in context.

"_I reviewed all of the details, multiple times from multiple tests and I can't find any flaws in any of it… I…really don't know how something like this happens," _Komui's voice echoed from Timcanpy—like static. An ability he'd picked up after apparently eating Kanda's golem.

The vision of Kanda was from the side, but even from that angle, Allen could see the way he was leaned forward, looking tired…angry…even upset if you could call it that. _"I don't like the sound of that, Komui. Speak. What's wrong with me? And can you fix it?_"

"_Well…I suppose I'll just say it outright. All of my tests come up with the same thing. I took this test without you knowing, on a random chance…and it came up positive._"

"_Out with it. What came up positive?_"

"_A pregnancy test."_

It was about that time, in the projection that Kanda's body looked like lightning struck it and the man stood up, slamming his legs into the table and nearly turning the whole thing over. He supposed he couldn't blame Kanda for that sort of reaction. When Allen heard that spoken the first time…he thought he was going to faint. Komui wouldn't joke about something like _that._ Not even to mess with Kanda.

Then there was the look Kanda had given him before he fled the scene. That was a serious, 'this isn't happening' expression. He also supposed that Allen popping in the room literally seconds from hearing _that_, was unsettling. If Allen knew anything about how babies are usually made…

He and Kanda were in deep shit.

But, his brain filtered back to the…_This isn't how babies are usually made_. And he had to wonder if Komui mixed up tests…multiple times. A sigh escaped him and he realized that he was probably thinking all the same things that Kanda had thought in those seconds after hearing it. Except, he was probably certain that the black haired male wasn't taking it well enough to rationally question all the aspect of the "how".

That was what Allen wanted to know. The _how_. How in the hell could something like that happen at all. He was _pretty sure_ that Kanda was male. By pretty sure, he was surer than anyone else. There weren't any spots left on Kanda's body that his tongue _hadn't _been on, really.

Thinking about it was all he could do at that particular moment. Several factors hadn't even occurred to him, due to the _mind-blown_ feeling he was still going through. Laying in his bed and staring up at the ceiling, he spent so much time trying to concoct a way to talk to Kanda, that he hadn't realized he even fell asleep to begin with and even in his dreams he was thinking about it; trying to make sense of this broken anatomical phenomenon that was happening if Komui was right.

Stirring from his half asleep state, he sat back up—cradling his head in his hands from the headache he'd given to himself by unintentionally eavesdropping on a situation he hadn't been invited to know about yet.

However, he felt like it was extremely relevant to him. If all he had to go by was the basics of physiology…and Kanda was actually….then he was…

_Oh my god, Kanda is going to kill me. _

He finally inched himself out of his bed. Even if he couldn't talk to Kanda outright, he was going to talk to Komui, while carefully skirting around anything that could give him away just yet. It was nearly certain that Kanda wouldn't want him to go around telling everyone that they slept together.

Frequently.

And on missions, no less.

Thinking back on it, the last time they'd been that close had been on that last mission. That was also the most recent time that he _topped—so to speak_—so…it wasn't much of a guess as to when 'conception' would have taken place. Especially if he was just starting to experience the symptoms of something like that. Of course, he really didn't know much. The man had been avoiding him for a week or so and prior to that, they had both been busy with their own daily activities. For all he knew, Kanda could have just decided he hated his guts at random…Oh…especially after hearing that. There was a high chance that Kanda wanted him to die in a ditch somewhere.

"Wait a minute…" Standing up suddenly, Allen ticked in his head for a moment. Pieces were falling into a place faster than they really should for how jumbled his thoughts were…but he _had _been fretting about it since the mission ended. Once the hammer nailed down the last piece, he grabbed Timcanpy and took off out of his room. It seemed like a few hours had passed—Komui would be available…at least he hoped.

He jogged past Krory, who turned his head at the boy's urgent pace. "Allen? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah! Everything's fine. I'll talk to you later, Krory!" Bring rude wasn't in Allen's nature, really; but he felt this was important enough of a thought to get to the scientist immediately. It would…of course probably expose that he knew what happened…But he'd have to know eventually. There was no way Kanda could hide something like that for long…

Unless they were planning to remove the 'evidence'. In which case, assuming this was all really true, that would be somewhat sad. Not that Allen was looking to be a parent at sixteen…but it reminded him of how his own parents just abandoned him. To not be wanted to the point of being washed free from someone's responsibility…

Yeah, that kind of hurt. Granted, if it was _fixed_ before it became sentient, it wouldn't even matter. It wouldn't know the difference. If anything, it was possibly in the thing's better interest…As much as it made Allen cringe to think about.

He mentally slapped himself. His mind just took off once the words hit his brain and he hadn't stopped. He didn't even know if Kanda would even let him in after that. That man was notorious for retracting from all contact when things got too sticky in regards to human communication. That…and of course the utter crushing of his masculinity he was probably suffering under. That was just another one of those unfortunate personality quirks of Kanda's. He wasn't vain, but he was extremely self-aware in circumstances that questioned his personal strength.

Sucking in a breath, Allen returned to the original scene and hesitantly knocked on the door this time. He didn't want another near hysterical moment like before—where he honestly thought his heart couldn't take it.

"Come in."

His fingers closed around the door handle and he pushed the door in, upon hearing Komui's voice from the other side. The man sounded like he was less tired, the alertness seeped back into his response. Allen expected Komui was probably back to the overload of work he actually really had.

What he hadn't expected was to open the door to see Kanda sitting there once more.

"Uh…"

"Allen, good to see you again. Is everything okay?" Komui's expression was carefully covered and not showing the least bit of discomfort. It was like he hadn't even delivered the words to Kanda prior…The swordsman, on the other hand, looked like he was haunted. Not that anything other than his eyes gave that away…but Allen was getting remarkably good at reading between the lines when it came to him. He could make out the shadows like they were signs blinking in neon lights that read: "I'M KANDA YU, AND I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD THE WORST THING IN THE UNIVERSE."

"Uhm…." Suddenly Allen felt like he was choking. He didn't expect Kanda to be there! _Shoot. _But…he really had to say something. He needed to bring up the thought he had. It would explain at lot at once and it might not be something that either of them had considered.

Allen appeared to be the only one who was _stuck_ on that mission.

"Allen?"

"Have you checked Kanda for Innocence?" He blurted suddenly. Too late to turn back now. It was something he needed to state, whether Kanda was there or not. If they tried to toy around with Kanda's body and there was an Innocence causing it…then they could end up causing more issues, or worse…hurting Kanda irrevocably.

"Beansprout what are you…" _That_ look suddenly flickered over his face again. If Allen could label that look, he was torn between "oh my fucking god, you heard" and "fucking, just kill me right fucking now." Actually, Allen would probably combine the two of them, because Kanda's eyes were displaying more emotion than had probably ever had in his entire life. Horrified, unstable and possibly angry emotions…but they were there…nonetheless.

"I'm sorry, Komui. I was outside the door earlier and…I, well. I didn't intend to eavesdrop, but I heard."

Kanda turned his whole body away from Allen, face as far from the boy as he possibly could manage. If that wasn't a recoil of humiliation, the younger boy had no idea what to call it. Really, he just wanted to hug that pissiness out of him, but it was Kanda.

That was like hugging a cactus. A cactus that could punch, kick and bite him if he needed or wanted to.

"Innocence?" Komui offered the distraction for the brooding teen.

"On our mission, we had the Innocence in our possession, but it disappeared. We searched everywhere for it and came up with nothing. You said that strange phenomenon occur when an Innocence appears right?" He pointed to the man seated in front of Komui's desk. "From what I heard, that qualifies as a strange phenomenon."

A contemplative look passed over the scientist. In his need to try to figure out how to balance the situation and Kanda's nearly inevitable tantrum, he hadn't really taken something like that into consideration. Taking him to Hevlaska never even crossed his mind, since he was an equipment type Innocence user. "Hmmm. You raise a very good point. An Innocence could possibly have the power to make something like that happen."

"Are you fucking serious? An Innocence that imbues people?" The growl was nearly razor sharp.

"Calm down, Kanda. It's not that it's the Innocence's power…but perhaps—assuming this is Innocence related—it's a parasitic type, trying to create a user. With that being said, it could explain why you _lost_ the Innocence."

"And why Crown Clown deactivated when I touched Kanda," Allen blurted after.

"_Touched_ Kanda?'

"Really, Moyashi? Really? Are you trying to fuck this up worse?" Kanda raised a hand and clasped his hand hard over his mouth, trying to restrain himself from breaking his own jaw from the tense way he was gnashing his teeth into each other. Allen was the last person he wanted to see, let alone know about anything.

"Well, BaKanda, if this is seriously what I heard and Komui's tests are showing what it actually is, how long do you really think it'll be before it comes out anyway? It's not like we can just toss you down a flight of stairs and call it solved!"

"We don't know that yet, now do we?" His voice was low, but wavering. It was clear that he didn't like the truth being thrust into his face and especially when he had no real control over it.

"If you'd like to toss yourself down a flight of stairs, then so be it. I'll even wait at the bottom for you, but don't do it unless you know it's not going to actually kill you permanently, you idiot!" Allen's patience with Kanda never seemed strong, but his internal fear and concern were twisting him to the point he could likely become a monster is the subject wasn't diverted.

"I may just toss you down first, you little mother fu—"

"Kanda, Allen, both of you stop. I'm perhaps missing something here…Allen, you mentioned Crown Clown deactivated when you touched Kanda?"

"Yes…It was after the fight. I thought I was just tired, but I don't think that's the case now. Look, I'm sorry for barging in here, but this has been on my mind ever since…and I had no idea that this _idiot_ over here was having issues. If I knew _that_, then I'd have voiced my concerns earlier."

"It's none of your business, that's why, _moyashi._ You should learn to stay the fuck out of other people's problems!"

Allen jumped and restrained himself from starting a fist fight with him, "the hell it isn't my business. Innocence or no, I know _how_ offspring are produced! Making this _my_ problem too."

Fire could have erupted from Kanda's body with how rage flooded his senses. "Good job, you dipshit, just announce it to the world. I'll just fucking abort both of you at the same time!" Before Allen could escape Kanda's grasp, the man lifted himself from his seat, using Allen as his post. He glared down the boy and had to fight a long hard mental battle to not simply snap the boy's head right off his shoulder. "I hate you, go die," he gritted.

"…Well, I think I'm piecing this together now…" Komui stated calmly, as if not really all that surprised. And he kept on talking, as if the two of them weren't standing in a limbo just above a slaughter taking place, "I need to ask the question, for reasons of how I go about this next. If I'm to assume the direction of this conversation and the fact that you two were together around the time of what would be conception…did the two of you happen to have sex any time after you obtained the Innocence?"

The room went silent. Allen felt his face light heat up and he nearly shrunk back. He couldn't even begin to count just how _many_ times they'd done it and yet, it still embarrassed him. He was taking it like it was his and Kanda's thing alone and no one else should even be privy to it happening. Kanda was clearly feeling the same way.

"…Yes…We…did." Kanda finally answered, surprising the younger partner.

"Okay…with that, we need to change our plans. I'll discuss _this_ matter in more detail with you later, after we've confirmed some things. I'd like to take you to Hevlaska right now. I want Allen to come as well, so we can make sure there's no interference with his Innocence. I'm here to protect you exorcists, so I'm going to try to do what I can to make sure this doesn't get back to Central. Please don't say anything to anyone…not that I feel like you actually would. But I need to say it just in case."

"You're not…mad? Or…" Allen stammered.

"I'm more relieved than anything, Allen. The likeliness that this is Innocence related is extremely high; we at least know what we're dealing with. What you both do in your private him doesn't concern me…and this can't really be blamed on not being careful enough. You're both male."

"Tell that to the goddamned Innocence!" Kanda bit, sourly.

"Kanda, calm down. You're in a delicate state," Allen snapped, feeling Kanda's bitterness leak into him.

"I WILL KILL YOU."

"Stop it both of you!"

**To Be Continued…**

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><p><strong><strong>_A/N: Holy crap the response on this. You guys are as wonderfully sick as I am XD If it weren't 4:30 in the morning, I would reply to everyone individually, but for now I will super thank you and hope you enjoy my challenge fullfilled to make an MPREG that doesn't seem horrifically out of character or written by a 13 year old._


	3. Unaccepted

**Incubation**  
><em>Part Three<em>

"Okay, so on the bright side…It's not killing you."

"The bad news is that it's there at _all_, you fucking idiot."

"Don't yell at me, Kanda. I'm trying to be positive. Because someone has to be right now."

Kanda's face contorted into one of pending rage. He was not feeling too hot about…anything at that particular moment and staring down the pleasant faced beansprout was not making his inner turmoil calm in the least. Wrapping his mind about what he had been told was a process that he knew would take a while and when the gravity of the situation finally did hit him, he was pretty sure he'd kill the first person he saw. It would be preferable if it was Lavi, instead of the beansprout.

With frightening accuracy, Hevlaska told them just about the same thing Allen had suggested in combination with Komui's theory. There was an Innocence just taking up residence in his body.

Oh and it happened to decide to turn him into an incubator.

Delightful.

No. Actually, it wasn't delightful. He couldn't even bear the sarcasm, because it just wasn't funny at all. There was no positive side. There was no good news. There was no anything about the situation that didn't make him deeply consider the jump down the stairs thing. Not that it truly matter now; that was immediately shot down anyway, after Hevlaska was nice enough to tell him that his healing ability would be stifled.

He had no control over the situation.

There was nothing they could even do to remove it.

His body had been hijacked by an Innocence and worst off—in a sense—was the fact that the damn beansprout was the _father_. _Beansprout. Was. The. Father. _It made his everything hurt thinking about the repercussions of that. If he was a woman and subjected to the workings of a female body, he probably wouldn't have such a problem with the damned brat being the father figure…because he probably wouldn't have a problem with the whole thing in general. But he wasn't a woman.

He was a man.

And he was going to have _lots, lots, lots _of really **huge problems**, in the near future.

That was where his problem with Allen came in. It wasn't that it was Allen's blood or that Allen was the younger one—shoot, it wasn't even the thought of being emasculated by the beansprout—it was the fact that the boy had a heart the size…

…Of. A. Country.

This would mean Allen would be literally on him about everything ever and he would never be able to even try to shake the little asshat off him long enough for him to breathe. He was already in his room with him—which, given the circumstances, was understandable. They had a long talk that had to happen at some point…but still…he knew that clingy aura like it was written on the little idiot's forehead.

The urge to smash his head into something came surprisingly fierce whenever he reminded himself of the current state of affairs. He didn't even want to use the word associated with it. He didn't even want to _think_ of the word associated with this.

Because he couldn't be.

Not possible.

He was male.

Be was not pre—

He was not even going to think about it. Or at least that was how he wanted to go about it. He wanted to forget anything was even said and go back about his day like nothing was the matter. He really did want to…But connecting the dots in his mind really made him think about the reasons he went to Komui to begin with.

Getting sick at all, in any fashion, wasn't something that happened to him. Not ever. Mainly because of that wonderful immune system of his, but regardless…he'd never even really felt side effects of what really entailed _being_ sick, so when standing up nearly sent him to the floor dizzy…he thought it was a little peculiar. The sharp, horrid headaches, however, were what send him to Komui. When the light felt like an enemy, he had to have it fixed.

Sadly…that didn't look like it was being fixed.

Actually sitting down with Komui made him realize just how many details he ignored because he hadn't thought they were important. The sudden sharp increase in his sense of smell made him avoid everything with an odor to it. Then the strange shift in his appetite…and the lack of desire to even look at his usual food of choice. Suddenly, the stiffness in the muscles of his abdomen…made sense.

It didn't make him feel any better, but at least it wasn't some mystery illness.

Nope. He was just pre—nope, he still couldn't bring himself to actually finish the word, even in his mind.

"I really don't feel like having your positivity poured over me. This isn't something to be delighted about in the least. This puts me off the field for months," he growled, staring at the wall. He was laying on his bed, facing away from the little idiot and trying not to really show any feelings other than disgruntlement. He was hiding his inner turmoil from himself; even more so from Allen.

"Look, I'm not asking you to stand there and praise god for it, but Komui said you're going to have to adjust to this fast and I really want to help you through it," Allen said softly. So softly that it almost made Kanda want to kick him. How dare he act like this. How care he care so much about this so quickly. How dare he not be scared away in the least. **How dare beansprout be more composed than he was!**

"Listen, you little numbnut, this isn't going to be rainbows and sunshine. I'm also not fragile. I'm not weak. I'll deal with this shit and I don't need you doing what _you_ do."

"What? Caring? Oh heaven help me. I want to be there for the person I love. Damn me for being such an ass." Kanda stiffened at the boy's words. That phrase hadn't come out of either of them before, so it was nearly as much of a shock as the news given to him earlier. He really didn't think he could handle much more shock for one day. It didn't cause him to turn to face him, however. After several minutes, he felt Allen move on to the bed behind him. He didn't stop him and he didn't bother moving. The younger boy simply pressed close to him, his face just short of Kanda's ear—cradling in his neck. It was a display of affection he didn't let happen often, if really at all. But he was too…overwhelmed to kick him off. That and his headache was returning to full force.

"Kanda, I know you're not fragile. You're not sensitive and you never will be. You're the strongest person I know. You, also, always will be. But this isn't about your personal strength. You heard Komui. He said the Innocence would eat up your energy. You may not be fragile, but you'll need help."

"I will not be treated like an invalid."

"You won't be. You'll be treated like a person who's bearing a burden that needs some extra assistance."

"Stop talking, beansprout. You're making me mad."

Allen let out a breath and tried to convey his feelings in touch, lacing his fingers through those of one of Kanda's hands—even if against the man's desires. "You're going to fight me on this even if you're curled up on the floor in misery, but that's really not going to stop me. And you know that, don't you?"

"That's _why_ you're making me so fucking mad. I haven't accepted this. I will continue to see if there's anything that can be done to remove it. I don't give a shit if it's Innocence. I'm not a woman. I don't have the parts designed for this shit and I will do what it takes to amend this problem."

"Please don't tell me you're actually considering messing with something done by an Innocence… Kanda, Hevlaska and Komui already told you that there was no way to safely separate you from it without risking your life. I know you're all high and up on your masculine pride, but can't your ego rest long enough for you to at least not kill yourself?"

A growl emitted from the dark haired man, "I will not hesitate to kick the shit out of you, beansprout. You're not taking this seriously. This isn't like adopting a pet. This isn't like getting sick. This is a long term thing. This is my body being fucked with and both our lives being fucked with. How can you ignore that fact? Are you fucking ready to be a teenaged father?"

"I never pictured you as a melodramatic type," Allen snipped. "I was never going to be ready, nor ever planning to _have_ any children. Otherwise, I don't think I would have chased _you_. Now would I?"

"And look what happened anyway."

"I'm here for you, stupid. It could be a lot worse."

With a grunt, Kanda rolled over—nearly pushing Allen off the bed. He faced the damned brat and gave him a look that could have set lesser man on fire. "Will you stop with that sappy bullshit! This is…this is just fucking ridiculous! Am I the only one who seriously thinks there is something horribly wrong with this?"

"There _is_ something horribly wrong with this. You're _pregnant._ I won't pretend to understand. But we don't have a whole lot of time to figure out how to _hide_ this properly. You heard Komui. He said you'll probably go through all sorts of changes, on top of physically showing evidence. Your cooperation would be grand."

"I won't just accept this…" Came the quiet reply. "I don't want this. The Innocence is just using me as a holding chamber. It can do it to someone else."

"Someone else may not survive it, Kanda."

Kanda pulled at the strands of hair by Allen's face, frustration seeping all the way into his fingers. "Stop throwing logic at me, you stupid mother fucker. I hate you when you talk!"

"But you don't hate me otherwise?" Allen smiled softly, despite the threat of having Kanda's fist shoved down his throat. "To be honest," he added, running a thumb over the man's cheek. The dark haired man was panting, looking like he was overheated and his eyes were glazed just enough that Allen could tell the headache was really getting to him. "I'm kinda scared. And I'm not even in your position. But I'm scared because I really don't like the idea of this putting a gap between us. You may be the most emotionless dick I've ever met, but this would never have even started if there wasn't enough of something between us to begin with."

"Just….shut up, beansprout. Or get the hell out of my room. I'm tired. I don't want to think about this right now."

"Okay, okay."

Silence drifted between them and Kanda was more than grateful to not hear Allen anymore. It was too much. Allen was too much. The stupid brat would probably cater to him…like a little slave…if he asked him to and it disturbed him. It's fucking disturbed him. He didn't want it to come to that sort of dependence on any one.

He would also never manage to go without a good handful of people figuring it out. Lenalee already knew, because of her brother—which he was _not_ happy about, at **all**. Allen now knew. He supposed it was only fair for Allen to find out early on, but that didn't mean he _wanted _him to. Allen struck him as the dedicated husband type and that would make him vomit worse than the side effects of being unnaturally knocked up.

His brain needed a reboot and time to sort out the shit.

Originally, his intent was to kick Allen right the fuck out of his room and proceed to sleep until he couldn't anymore; but the stupid beansprout was all but radiating his concern. It was hard to detach him without facing more pointless arguing, so he just sucked it up and closed his eyes.

It wasn't like they'd never slept together in the same bed before anyway.

Allen curled up closer to him and he could feel Allen's heartbeat. It was pulsing fast; a testament to just how nervous he really was.

_Good._ _He should suffer with me,_ he scowled before sleep finally started to settle in. _…Hm, but he does smell good. _

**To be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Holy crap guys, I'm glad you like this so much. I'm surprised, but I can't help but enjoy this story more than I should |D I'm glad you can enjoy it with me._**  
><strong>


	4. Lunch

**Incubation**  
><em>Part Four<em>

"So, how come we're sitting outside?"

"Because it's nice out here," came the reply, though muffled by food. It wasn't a lie at all; it really was a nice day. The air was fresh after the rains had finally stopped and it was cool enough that it wasn't a bother. There was a bit of a breeze, but it wasn't enough to cause any disturbance in during their afternoon meal.

The four of them were seated at a slightly worn table, covered in various trays of food…Mostly Allen's appetite making itself present. He casually began his journey through the mountain of food, with Lavi across from him, Kanda next to him, and Lenalee diagonal to him. He thought it was rather nice.

Kanda, on the other hand, already wanted to leave. Unlike the happy, cheerful reason Allen had given their friends…he knew the real reason why they were outside—ostracized from anyone who could over hear the conversation they would eventually have to get down to. It made him curl inside himself in disgust. He wanted to crawl back into his room and lock the door for…oh…say… eight more months.

Eight more months…It made him nearly dig his fingernails into his palms. He supposed it was good that he was unaware of it for the most of that first month; but as that first month mark approached he started to realize it was going to get horribly bad quickly. No matter how he looked at it.

Over the week since he'd found out, they ran him through every test that existed and them some new ones that Komui put together on a whim. He'd had more blood drawn than he thought he had in his body. Both Hevlaska and Komui had tested the presence of the Innocence over and over and he was starting to really want to brain Komui every time he even tried to prod around his abdomen. It wasn't like he had anything to hide from Komui; the man had seen him worse off and was the one who usually did his physical checks, but this wasn't even in the same zone. This was so out of there that he still couldn't even connect it right in his head. Having the scientist poke around him like that only made him want to shrink away to avoid the risk of it actually really clicking in his mind.

Well, he was already more aware and informed than he ever wanted to be…but he was still playing it off in his head differently. It wasn't really going to fully play out…right?

He grimaced and reached across the front of him and absently picked with his chopsticks from the side of Allen's plate while the boy was talking enthusiastically with Lavi. Luckily, Allen was a beacon of pleasantry and a perfect distraction from the fact that he wanted nothing to do with the Soba in front of him.

Normally, he was perfectly content with that and nothing else. But at the moment, he couldn't even stand the _smell_ of it; which led him to an unfortunate situation of being starving and not willing to voice that he _could not eat that. _The _thought _of eating that made him actually extremely close to vomiting.

Not that he would ever voice that or even admit that. He would kill himself holding it in if he had to. Vomiting in front of anyone else just wouldn't work for him. Of course, the extremely strong urge to do so nearly made him break that before he'd even entered the cafeteria that morning. That was the real reason they were outside. Beansprout was a little pain in the ass, but he noticed really quickly when Kanda's expression soured

Then again, it wasn't like he hadn't accidentally broadcast just how horribly the smell of bacon hit him. He stopped in his tracks and when the beansprout noticed he wasn't next to him anymore, he'd turned and saw him, clearly trying not to make any of the noises of disgust that he wanted to let out. Bacon nor its smell ever particularly bothered him, but wow…that morning…He honestly wanted to kill the man who ever first made it. It was so goddamned awful and he didn't even know why. Before, he'd never even noticed the smell.

Now it was _all_ he could smell.

He was going to just turn around and tell the beansprout he was going elsewhere, but Allen's power of being the most annoying human alive finally made him give in to eating outside—where the air didn't smell like mother. fucking. bacon. Beansprout was even coddling enough to bring him food.

It made him want to drown the little bastard.

Though the gestures were supposed to be nice. He found each one a massive sucker punch to his already wounded pride.

Whatever it was he was chewing on, he decided he liked to some extent and made some move to obtain another piece of it. Allen was chattering off about something and Lavi was laughing right along. If Lenalee saw him stealing Allen's food…well, he didn't care. Her brother already yapped his mouth off to her. _She_ knew before _he_ did and that made him so uncomfortable that he wanted to slap the stupid out of Komui's head. How do you tell anyone _other_ than the person about something like that first?

_Oh who the fuck cares,_ he grumbled internally. It wasn't like it had a special meaning on who knew first…and perhaps it was easier in that he didn't have to explain it to Lenalee…Just the fucking redheaded moron next to her. Because, unfortunately, Lavi was on their inner circle and Lavi was very smart—despite his actions—and would be useful during the following months.

That was why they were there.

Not for Allen's pleasant _bullshit. _They were there to tell Lavi that he was accidentally knocked up by an Innocence with a sick sense of humor, while avoiding spilling the fact that it was Allen's hell spawn to top it off—which was just another fact they had perfectly solidified by stealing all the blood out of his body.

He honestly didn't think they could keep that a secret. Allen was too…he was…Kanda didn't even have a word that didn't make him sound like a doting husband. Allen was being protective and…just all around sweeter. Even when he demanded sex out of the brat the previous night, he was given a lot less of the violent romping they tended to go about it with. It wasn't any less _good_, but it was just seeping _care._ Like he was already looking for ways to avoid hurting him. It gave him the most strangling sensation of satisfaction and rage he'd ever felt. He enjoyed the act—of fucking course—but he loathed the feeling after, when he realized just how Allen's behavior was going to lean away from the hot-headed fist fight relationship they had.

It was fucking infuriating.

If they could just pretend nothing changed, he could go on pretending there wasn't a damn thing wrong. Even if his body was acting really fucking weird.

Popping another…something into his mouth, he casually eyed the selection of food next to him. Sitting next to Allen was somewhat like sitting next to a buffet table if you were insane enough to steal from him and risk losing fingers—luckily, he had chopsticks anyway. This was really not something he was enjoying doing. It felt pathetic, but he was hungry and there was food not being shoveled into the black hole known as Allen Walker. As long as the beansprout was busy swapping mission details with Lavi, he was free to discreetly pick apart Allen's meal until the boy realized he had nearly picked several somethings off each plate.

Several times he nearly spit out what he sampled, though. He wasn't fond of sweet things, but they tasted even sweeter than he'd expected them to. What the little croquette looking things were made of, however; he wanted to know. Because they were fucking delicious. Unfortunately, he ate them all before he realized he'd done so. So he simply nitpicked at the second plate, not really fully aware that the conversation across the table had stopped.

He completely missed the _stare_ Lavi had on him—like perhaps Kanda had grown a second head….

…or was eating from beansprout's plates…

That wasn't unusual behavior at all…for a man who hadn't eaten much other than Soba…in years.

The very fact that Allen didn't even notice it was even weirder than the fact that Kanda was doing it at all. Allen could usually snap to attention in a split second when food was involved. Maybe it was the innate nervousness that Lavi seemed to pick up in Allen's mannerism that was distracting the kid.

Allen poked a piece of unnamed food and that was when _he_ finally realized it. The way Lavi was just…watching…hadn't even made him look over. Distracted was a good thing to call it. "…What the…" The silver eyed boy looked up and glanced from plate to plate then stared back at Kanda. "Have you…been ransacking my food?" There was a spark of surprise that hit Allen once he collected the data that he knew he hadn't eaten enough to clear that much space.

Chop sticks poised, Kanda reached forward and took the morsel—looking much like that croquette he like—right off the fork. "No," he answered, while popping it in his mouth and chewing it blankly—as if there was absolutely no way to contest his answer.

"Kanda…"

"I said no, now shut up and go back to talking."

"Yuu…Beansprout? What's going on here?" Lavi asked, catching on as quick as someone of his sharpness should. Those two were never really friendly enough—it seemed—to just play out that particular behavior. Kanda was eating Allen's food…Allen was letting him.

"It's Allen."

"Don't call me that."

"Okay, whatever. But seriously. What the hell is going on? This…this isn't normal! And it's creeping me out!" The redhead finally burst and pointed directly at Kanda. The man in question only looked up briefly before he surveyed the rest of Allen's plate. He didn't give a shit now. Lavi already saw him doing it. If he was busy combing Allen's buffet table, then Allen would have to be the one to explain it and he could save the little bits of dignity he still had left.

"Ahah…" Allen started, nervously. "Well, there actually was a reason we came out here…we were just kinda hoping to walk into it a little easier…"

"This better be good…Because seriously…just…" He watched Kanda poking at things and moving things out of the way to get to food he wanted and his brain just went blank. "What the hell!"

"Yeaaah. About that… We've been kinda putting off telling you, really, because Kanda's being a bit of a bitch about it and—OW," he yelped and recoiled from the chopstick that poked hard into his cheek.

"I have every right to be a _bitch_. Every fucking _right._"

"Ahem…." Rubbing his cheek and giving Kanda a frown, he went on; "he's sore about it. Still."

"Wait, what exactly? How long has what been going on?"

"Three weeks?" Allen looked at Kanda.

"Three and five days, actually."

"Still confused over here, guys."

"He's pregnant, Lavi," a soft voice broke the tension building between the three men. Lenalee said it with her face turned just a bit so that she could avoid Lavi's offset glance. She felt bad blurting it, but she knew those boys would skirt around it again. They'd already tried to get Lavi clued in on the situation twice before, only to have Kanda duck out before they got down to business. She really didn't blame him though…Lavi had a tendency to dig into his nerves really hard.

The sound of a snap was the first thing to break the long drawn silence following her words. Three pairs of eyes identified it as Kanda's fist making short work of the chopsticks, breaking them both clean in half at once. That word still didn't get along with him.

Another moment passed…Lavi staring over both of them, soaking in the statement. "No seriously, what's going on?"

"…L…Lavi…it's not…a joke," Allen stuttered.

"I've seen _him_ naked, that's not a woman. Therefore, _that_ cannot be pregnant," he pointed, his green eye taking in the very slight tremble of rage that was beginning in Kanda.

"I'd never joke about something like that with him present, Lavi!" The younger boy stammered, feeling Kanda's aura get darker and darker.

"…You're serious. Serious serious…"

"Yes."

"He's…"

"Yes."

"…HOW? What…why? Allen, my god, you…you **nailed** him _that damn __**hard?**_"

A growled burst from Kanda's throat, nearly making Allen jump out of his seat. Lenalee was already standing and moving away from the table and Lavi was following suit while Allen tried desperately to hold Kanda's arms back as the man threw his muscles into trying to throw the table over Lavi.

"LET ME GO BEANSPROUT. I'LL FUCKIN KILL HIM."

"Kanda, calm down! You can't stand up that suddenly if you don't want to—AH!" Clambering to reverse the direction of his pulling, he tried to stop Kanda from toppling backwards once he realized the man's strength disappeared.

"Augh. The world is spinning."

Allen sighed, keeping him upright. "Yeah. No kidding, BaKanda."

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: well...don't hate me for being vacant for a while guys xD; I got involved in a really long roleplay-cowrite with a friend of mine and well, we're making a LaviYuu mpreg too...so...yeah. I've been writing. Just not where I SHOULD. I'm terrible, I know. But I do love you guys for sticking with me through my ever fluctuating posting habits. All of your reviews are super appreciated and I hope I can continue to satisfy your sick minds~!**  
><strong>_


	5. Recoil

**Incubation**  
><em>Part Five<em>

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?"

"Go away."

"Come on, Yuu. It's a reasonable question since I've never seen _you_ run that fast. And you run like a…gazelle or something." Lavi leaned against the door and listened for any sounds that might indicate any pain or discomfort. If he had to break the door down, he would; but it was sounding more and more like the poor guy was just having a hard time keeping food down…Again.

"I said go away, shithead," a grunt filtered through the door, followed by a strangled noise that suggested he was making an effort to restrain the next round of vomit.

"Do I need to go get Allen?"

"NO. I don't need him babysitting me. I'm _not_ an invalid."

"You're being awfully stubborn. Also, you're going to give yourself a headache if you keep fighting it so hard. Just spew your guts and let it be done."

A loud crack against the door made Lavi jump back with a frightened twitch. An apparent kick to the door signaled Kanda's disgruntlement. "**If you think this is so simple, you come do it. Fuck. Augh…**" The following silence was only broken by the faint sound of his retching.

Lavi still didn't leave. He felt bad for the man. As much as he enjoyed teasing him and giving him a generally hard time, he really found this to be as unfair as it gets. The most antisocial and independent person he'd ever met, suddenly afflicted with possibly the most debilitating thing someone of his nature could have…it wasn't even poetic irony. It was just cruel really. Especially considering that man didn't have very much experience with being sick in any degree…so even that was new to him.

"I'm serious, Yuu. If you feel like it's getting too bad…then let's go to Komui. You really need to be careful."

"Dear fucking god. I cannot get a moment to throw up in peace," another snarl flew and suddenly the door opened, revealing the unhappy man inside. He looked like shit. Lavi wasn't going to tell him that, no, but it was a fact. He had his hair sloppily pulled back and his face was flushed from heaving and trying to restrain it. Opening his mouth to snap another snarl, he stopped mid way. His body lurched and he covered his mouth. It was painfully clear he was trying to fight it down.

"Yuu?"

Holding up a finger, Kanda signaled for him to wait a minute. If he opened his mouth, it was over. He was not submitting to another vomit fest right after he'd finally managed to choke it back down and calm his stomach. Breathe…he just needed to breathe and not think about things that made him want to just say "FUCK IT" and sleep over the tub where he could just shamelessly drown in the contents of his stomach. Tilting his head back, he managed to quell the churning in his gut. "Hnng. I cannot possibly have anything left in there to expel."

"Are you supposed to vomiting that hard? I mean, I know women go through the whole morning sickness thing too, but you're not…you know. A woman?" Lavi didn't intend to sound like he was poking fun, but he prepared himself for the possibility that Kanda wasn't going to see the innocence in his question.

"Komui said I would experience something like this. It's apparently normal. Now go away."

"You could stand to be less obtuse about this, Yuu. I mean, really. We're supposed to be helping you. Isn't that why you brought me in on this to begin with?"

"It was only a matter of time before you figured it out. I wasn't given much of a choice on Lenalee. She knew before I did. And beansprout kinda _put_ it there, he was going to find one way or another."

"You make it sound like we're not even friends~" Lavi pouted and followed him once be brushed passed Lavi—going for the sink area outside of the personal stalls. Lavi's trained eye could pick up details over his friend's body. They weren't obvious changes to most, but it was something that proved that something _was_ happening. Kanda's face was already a little fuller—showing some water retention—and his skin was a little more flushed. Unfortunately, he did also have an even sourer look on his face than usual.

But that was Kanda.

He hadn't stopped saying that he wasn't accepting it and the Bookman Jr. knew that he could keep that thought process up until he would start to actually _see_ the changes. At that point, he really had no idea how Kanda would react. For someone like him, this was a massive—life shattering—change and it would challenge everything about him. It was hardly possible just to help him over simple things. Lavi himself almost got his head popped off for not letting him lift something because it was heavier than he _should_ lift.

Looking at it through Kanda's eyes did make him think though. If he was in his place, he would feel a lot more resentment than he'd want to. But to Kanda's credit, he didn't seem to be blaming Allen for it happening. Which, that in itself was nothing short of shocking to the redhead.

When he jokingly made a snide comment about Allen nailing Kanda…he didn't actually know that was what _happened._ Those two had always been at each other's throats, but he really hadn't expected it to be because they were ransacking in the bedroom too. Well, he supposed part of him wasn't _too_ surprised, but it just all came clean so smoothly, without much real fight, that it surprised him like that.

He really just wanted to know how Allen managed to actually top the swordsman. In his mind, he never could have pictured that set up and Kanda refused to answer his question when he asked if he just liked taking it. Lavi thought it was a valid question. It also raised a question in his mind of if it had been reversed…would Allen be in Kanda's position? He didn't voice that one though. Somehow, he didn't think it would fly too well.

"I'm going outside to exercise."

"Wait, define what you mean by 'exercise'."

"I'm going to run, walk, sword practice…whatever I feel like doing."

"Uh…shouldn't you…not be doing stuff like that?"

"He told me as long as I don't strain myself, I can go about my business as usual. Seriously, get off my ass, Usagi. I have enough annoyances to deal with that I don't need you adding to the-" his words were suddenly cut short by the heave that took over his body. There wasn't even enough time to force it back and he did the only thing he could.

He emptied the contents of his stomach in the sink. If anything, the red headed moron was incredibly lucky that he was even able to turn that quickly; otherwise, he'd be changing his clothes at about that time. Turning the water on, he just kept right on heaving. It was making him angrier and angrier as his stomach recoiled. Throwing up in front of anyone really just cut right down to his ego and sliced chunks off, tossing it in the wind to float away. The first time he did it, he nearly strangled Allen as a reaction. He was fortunate enough to have been able to actually reach across the boy to grab the trash can, but once he was done…the realization that he was laying half across Beansprout's lap, vomiting in a trashcan just…screwed with his head a little too hard.

"Ah yes, you were saying?" Lavi asked, with that pseudo-sweetness that seeped to the core with sarcasm. He knew Kanda wouldn't get far if he was getting as nauseous as he was.

"Go away," a choked growl answered, throwing a splash of water over Lavi. Kanda cupped his hand and prepared the next fling of water that he'd threaten the little bastard with.

"Hahaha, calm down Yuu. I think you should just relax a bit. You've been up since early this morning, without rest."

"What are you my fucking mother? Or worse, are you moyashi in disguise? I'm not fuckin fragile. I will not break. So leave me the fuck alone. What the hell does it matter if I miscarry this thing, anyway?" Finishing up rinsing the sink out, he finally turned the water off and stared down into it. He wasn't really looking at anything…just thinking. Even saying that…even the word "miscarry" was nailing it in harder and harder. It was doing nothing but reminding him that he didn't want this. At all.

"Yuu…" It was a soft tone that held a strange amount of concern. Lavi expected that sort of thought process from Kanda—he really did—but it was very hard to actually hear him say it. It was giving off the impression that he really was so detached that he didn't give a shit if it was a product of him and Allen; he just wanted it gone and to go on with his life. But Lavi wasn't stupid. He knew that Kanda was so coiled in denial that he was probably trying to think of ways to explain it away.

"It's Innocence. Nothing more. It can find someone else to fuck up."

"It's chosen you for a reason. I mean, how many other people do you think it's come in contact with?…yet you're the one that it assimilated with. To be honest, I thought you guys were fucking with me for a few days after you told me. So I get that it's hard to believe…but it's clearly pretty real. If you really feel like miscarrying it will have no damaging effects, then you better talk to Allen. Because he's so full of care for you that it's unreal."

"What would you know?" Kanda turned his face from Lavi's, glancing at him through the long mirror in the washroom.

"I know what Allen told me. He'd do anything for you, you know. He practically begged me to follow you while he was busy with Komui. I think he's taking this remarkably well for a kid whose just been told he'll be a father at seventeen."

"Are you serious? Are you fucking serious?" Dark eyes shot back and focused a hard stare. "Why is everyone taking this so lightly? This isn't a damn game. This isn't just finding a new exorcist. This is…This is something that can't happen."

"The reason why…is because if you're like _this_ with everyone calm…I can't imagine how you'd react if **we** were freaking out. You're ignoring it, but at least you're not trying to 'fix' the problem yourself."

A fist slammed into the counter, "how am I ignoring this? I'm the only one who sees the goddamned problem!"

"Yuu…Have you even admitted to yourself what's happening?"

"Of fucking course I have. There's a tumor taking up space in my body and it will be removed as it's supposed to be. I'm just a fuckin holding tank for this thing. I'm not _pregnant._"

"…Pregnant means _carrying developing offspring within the body_. Essentially, any pregnant person…is a 'holding tank.' Komui confirmed that what's in there is composed of both you and Allen. That makes you **pregnant.**"

Silence followed the word like waves and it was very slowly building into bigger waves that crashed at Kanda's feet, slowly moving higher with each echo in his head. He hated Lavi's stupid logic at that moment. He hated that he hadn't just booted his stupid ass out like he intended to; but Lavi was harder to get rid of than he wanted to admit.

Lavi was also very intelligent.

Lavi was also very observant.

Lavi also just hammered the nail directly in and it punctured right down into the logic center of his brain and shattered his hardened self directed lie at the core.

He really, actually was…

Suddenly, he lurched forward to retch whatever his body could gather into the sink again. By that point, he was hurling up nothing but liquids and he was making him dizzy and tired. Once he thought he was done, he just breathed, with his eyes closed, over the sink. That hadn't been from the nauseous shit he'd been feeling all day. That particular strong desire to expel all the contents of his stomach was simply from the fact that it made him sick. Made him disgustingly sick. Sick. Sick.

SICK.

…To have the truth shoved into his face where he couldn't pretend it wasn't there.

The wave came right back and he leaned against the counter; shoulders shaking with every tightening sensation in his chest. He sucked for breath, only to have it pulled from him. It felt like he was trying to vomit that very air he breathed; because he surely had nothing left in his body to give. He felt was even beyond the thick yellow bile that he had experienced about the time the annoying redhead begun to harass him. Now he was just dry heaving…but it didn't make him feel better. Nothing made him feel better.

The only thing that could make it better would be if he woke up and realized that he had been having the stupidest fucking dream in his life.

Unfortunately, the gurgling pangs in his gut simply reminded him…that now that he was done removing all traces of nourishment from his body, it wanted more.

"Yuu? Are you okay?"

_No._

"I'm hungry."

**To Be Continued…**

_A/N: I'm so sorry guys, for the infrequency as of late. It's a combination of work being a dick, me being lazy and a roleplay that's distracting me unfairly. I plan to get right back to the swing of things once work settles a bit and I'm not pulling 50 hours a week. Those of you reading Cacophony: I was waiting on Hoshino for more backstory on Neah, but I'm going to probably have to say fuck it an noncanon the dogshit out of it. As for Persecution, that one is a delicate one. Because the ending may not be what people are expecting. As for Kanda's molestation by Timcanpy...LOL that one flows like water, so I promise I will not leave you guys hanging for two much longer. _

_ WakeToSanity, I lav yew dawlin. I do. You're the best reviewer ever and you're patient as all hell XD. When I need, I always appreciate a swift boot to the balls to get me moving again. I will not fail!**  
><strong>_


	6. Detail

**Incubation**  
><em>Part Six<em>

"Glad you're still here in one happy piece."

Only one sentence had been spoken and he was already getting mad. He sat on the examining bench, with a face that could have radiated his distain. The morning didn't fare him well. By 'didn't fare well', it meant that he simply did not even wake up _in the morning._ He'd just lain in the bed, fused into Allen's body to the point where the boy couldn't get up either…and he really couldn't explain that. When he was pressed skin to skin with Allen, he felt like his body was being revitalized; but the moment he separated, he could have sworn it felt like he was actually being bled dry from the inside out.

Then he found himself puking blood the moment he was able to stand up. That just wasn't comfortable…but the real thing that really set all of his alarms off was that he felt like he was being ripped apart from the inside and with blood spewing out of his mouth, he was actually afraid that was possible. Of course, the urgency to rush to Komui the moment he realized he was actually feeling incredibly—un-fucking-believably—horrible, was deeply encouraged by Beansprout's _freaking out._

It wasn't until Allen spattered off about him possibly miscarrying that he thought "oh, yeah…this could be bad."

After fighting with the little shit for ten or so minutes, Allen eventually just…carried him off. He had the damn nerve to pick him up and carry him off to Komui. At least what ever cruel god existed to punish him was kind enough to not have anyone see the display on the way there.

Actually, he wasn't too broken up about it. He was too tired to give a shit ultimately. As long as Komui could make the sharp, twisting and agonizing pains in his abdomen stop, he would put up with being toted around for a short moment.

"It seems like what I gave you earlier settled your stomach enough," the smiling scientist continued, moving closer to Kanda to check his basic vitals. "To give you peace of mind…mainly Allen, all the blood you're coughing up is not the baby."

"It's a cluster of cells, not a baby."

Allen poked Kanda and made a face at him. The man's negative attitude wasn't helping and it was making it harder to work with him. Since he'd spoken with Lavi, he'd seemed like he was off in the distance. Every mention of anything even close to his situation was briskly ignored and he'd simply stalk off somewhere. The redhead explained that whole conversation to him and he knew it was because Kanda was finally letting it sink it. It would take a while, he understood that; but it was getting hard to keep him in check. If he hadn't actually seen the man spewing blood out of his mouth, he had a feeling they wouldn't be talking to Komui at that moment.

They were supposed to sit down with the scientist within the next few days to actually go over all the test results, so eventually he would have had to thrust Kanda before him…but in a case of extreme pain and blood vomit, it needed to be sooner.

"Kanda, babies start as a cluster of cells. And actually, yours is a bit more than a little cluster. Also, the pain you're currently experiencing is because of that cluster of cells. I still have some more tests to work out to full understand this Innocence. But I'll be happy to share what we currently know with you once I've checked you over. I'd also like Lavi and Lenalee present when I lay everything out in a later discussion. Those two are also in your support system, I'm assuming?"

"Yeah," Allen said for Kanda—who was preoccupied with making angry faces and trying to hide the fact that he was curling his toes from the pain that was still settling in his abdomen.

"It's going to get to a point where we won't be able to just hide it too well. So I'm going to have to relocate the four of you to a less used wing when it gets to that time. It'll also be cooler on that wing, which Kanda will need soon."

"Don't you think moving up to a different location will raise suspicions? I mean it will already be strange if people find out Kanda is _sick_."

"Yes, but I would rather they believe he's just sick, than risk this information getting back to central. I fear they would snatch him up before we would even offer protest. Additionally, I've also arranged to have your meal schedules shifted. Please don't be angry, but I did inform Jerry of the situation and he will be preparing your meals personally."

Kanda's face contorted from the slight pained expression to show his extreme displeasure, "you told him! Was it necessary to tell him **that**?"

"Considering your meals will have to be largely adjusted, it _was_ necessary. Your food intake will have to be much higher and I've already worked around to have additional supplements added to your diet. You're not the only one either. Allen's schedule will match yours and his intake will be increased as well," Komui stated, pressing his fingers against the man's abdomen to feel for changes or note sensitivity. It didn't please the patient in the least. The more Komui poked around, the less comfortable he felt. He himself could feel the way his stomach seemed to be stiffening more—like there was a forming knot; or like his muscles were bunching up without the feeling of contraction. That Komui was feeling for the same thing, just made him feel awkward.

"Why are we adjusting my intake? I understand changing my schedule to match his, but why intake? I already eat a _ton_." Allen questioned, watching Kanda's expressions carefully as he was examined.

"Because from what you've told me, your activities are wearing you down and if it continues without adjustment, your innocence will weaken you. I have a theory as to why it's happening, but before we discuss that, I need to do a few more tests, ask some more questions and make more observations."

"…Beansprout, what activities have you been _doing?_" Dark eyes cast over to his silver hired partner. As far as he knew, Allen had only been with _him_ and Komui…what else could he be doing?

"Erm…" Allen shifted uncomfortably and eyes Komui desperately. The scientist quickly picked up on this glance.

"He told me that your sex drive seems to have increased."

A muffled grumble broke into the hair and Kanda resisted the urge to throw something at the beansprout. To say something so embarrassing… "My sex drive hasn't changed at all, you little fuc—no, you know what, never mind. Fuck it, it's not important."

"Actually, please do explain, Kanda. Any change in your body right now is important."

"Really? You're really going to make me discuss this? Just forget I fucking asked."

"Allen prodded him with a frown, "come on, stop being stubborn. I'd like to know what you mean by your _sex drive hasn't changed at all_. Because I have noticed a change. We didn't used to have sex _every _night—sometimes more."

"That can be discussed in private, beansprout."

"Consider this privacy. Currently, I am your doctor. Any changes in you are relevant and I would like to ask that you don't keep any information from me," Komui interjected.

"…Fucking…" He let an annoyed breath go and leaned back a bit before hesitantly explaining, "By the time the evening rolls around, I'm exhausted. When we have sex; afterward, I feel like I've been recharged—not spent. Put two and two together."

"Recharged, you say? Hmm. Allen tells me the exact opposite. I wonder. Now, pardon the personal nature of this question, but does it feel any different?"

"What? Sex? Hmm, somewhat. There are different sensations and it feels…really satisfying."

"…Implying it wasn't satisfying before?" Allen frowned, mixing the expression with a pout.

"No, I mean…you stupid dipshit. It's a different satisfying. I don't have any real desire for the sex itself right now, just the aftermath."

"…That is very interesting. What was it exactly that you told me Allen?"

Allen's eyes met with Kanda's as he answered the question, "that I feel like I'm being drained when we have sex."

"I think my other theory was wrong. It sounds like what's actually happening is the Innocence is transferring your energy to Kanda. Sex happens to be a high contact activity."

"Transferring energy?"

"Well, from the tests I gathered, what the Innocence is doing is breaking tissue from your already existing organs and using that tissue to create the protective womb and expand it. The side effect is that you will feel lots of pain—like you are now—as a result of your regeneration ability going to those organs to fix the damage. The Innocence is eating energy to keep building and ensure the safe zone, as well as forcing your body to adjust hormonally to encourage growth and nourishment. Perhaps that's the reason why you don't appear to have any stimulation for lactation. Because the Innocence is running its own system, leeching off you, instead of forcing your body to completely change to adjust to the new guest. When we remove the baby from you, we'll have to remove the false uterus as well. If it's doing what I now think it's doing, it's pulling the kinetic energy from Allen to feed the Innocence's needs so that it does less damage to you. Currently, the Innocence and your regeneration are sucking energy from you simultaneously. If the Innocence was able to actually dissolve into your system and pull Allen's genetic information like it did, I don't see how it could be unthinkable for it to be leeching off anything it comes in contact with—especially Allen, since it would already recognize it as the father."

"I think I hate my body a whole lot, right now."

"Truthfully, Kanda, anyone else would be dead by now. With it actually tearing your organs down slowly, you should be writhing in near death agony by this point—if you were anyone else. There are still a few things I need to go over; but for now, I want you to cease any activity that causes you to work much muscle or bend around your abdomen. That includes running, stretching, any sword practices…and walk only briefly. And…I don't want to be that guy, but I have to ask that you cease sexual activity until I can get a better idea of your current state. A miscarriage with this will not only kill you, but be agonizing and we'd like to try to avoid that.

Gripping the plastic edge of the examiner bench, Kanda resisted the urge to kick Komui. "Give up sex? The last relieving thing I can do and you take it away… And now that you've said it in front of him, I'll never get the _doting_ _daddy_ over there to ever even _touch _me."

"Kanda…it's for your better interes—" Komui started, but was cut off by Allen's quick retort.

"—That's because I'm worried about you, Kanda. You—did you just call me a _doting daddy?_"

"Yes, I did. Because you're acting like I'm your fucking wife, mothering your long planned heir."

"I am not!"

"You carried me in here, for fuck's sake!"

"You were spewing blood!"

"I'm divorcing you!" He growled and flipped his arms up at Allen—as if he was simply dismissing him.

"—Wha…Oh will you stop being such a stubborn ass! This is important! Your health is at stake. If _sex_ has a chance of hurting you, then forget it! You yourself said that it wasn't interesting you that much!"

"Aughh, I can't even get sex out of you now! Really? _Really?_ That was the only reason I tolerated your attempts to coddle me!"

"I wasn't coddli—"

"You asked me about thirty five times if I _was okay_ or if I _needed something_!"

"Why can't you let me care?"

"Why can't you remember that I do not need you motherfucking treating me like I'm made of **glass**!"

"**I love you, Kanda**_**. **_I can't help it!"

Those words stopped Kanda, not only in his words, but all the way down to his attitude. His heart thumped just a little quicker at the way the stupid brat was staring at him…with those big, determined, loving eyes. _Dear God. _It didn't matter that he was only sixteen. Allen Walker was steeled and ready to put up with months of shit from Kanda, just because he cared…It didn't even matter if it meant he would be a father at the end of it.

"Do you understand that we will be parents? Do you actually understand what this is turning into? This…thing… will be you and me. And if that doesn't scare you…it should."

"I'm only scared of who I'm going to have to kill when this _thing_ is older and so **good looking** that everyone will be after it."

Kanda's mouth moved but the words failed for a moment, floundering in his throat. "W…you….there…is something very wrong with your head, beansprout."

"That's what you get for hitting me so many times."

"If you wouldn't be such an idio—what in the—?" Kanda moved his arms back at the sudden movement in front of him. His instincts screamed to attack whatever had just entered his personal space, but a flash of gold and he realized it was just Timcanpy floating in front of him. "Augh, what do you want?" He snarled and waved at the stupid thing. "How did you get in here?"

Timcanpy flapped his wings and zipped around Kanda's head, diving down the front of him and poking around his abdomen. Bouncing his body against him…back and forth. Dark eyes stared down at the action, palms up like he was questioning everything and anything. Like why the golem was perpetually harassing his midsection. It was like the little fucker knew Allen's spawn was in there.

Kanda casually lifted his leg, directing his foot and kicked it into Timcanpy, taking the golem all the way to the floor…trapping the critter between his foot and the floor. "Little fuckerrrrr, hng…." A sharp twist of pain kicked in and he leaned forward, holding his side. His vision blacked and he felt like he was seeing colors and not seeing them at the same time.

"I told you not to move too much, Kanda. Your midsection is going to be sensitive."

"Fuck everything. Just fuck…FUCK."

"That's how this happened in the first pla—AH!" Allen squealed and jumped back to avoid Kanda's back hand.

"I changed my mind. I don't want to have sex with you ever again! Hnn…I need a nap." He puffed out a breath and let gravity kick in and he flopped over on his side against the examining bench. "Wake me up when this horrible joke is over."

"I'll set my alarm for about seven and a half months down the road."

"I hate you."

**To Be Continued…  
><strong>

_A/N: My intention had been to update a bunch of things recently, but due to stabbing metal into my leg, I've been sleeping and feverish, losing sleep and now I'm uploading a chapter I already had waiting. I am so sorry everyone. Suddenly, I don't have the time I had before. I feel like a apologize every time I post, but I really never wanted to get to this point. I will be recovering from this hiatus and I will kick all of your asses with what I post. You will all crumble in puddles of feels. I love you~. _


	7. Admittance

**Incubation  
><strong>_Part Seven_

Allen blinked in the darkness and stared at the faint light reflecting on the ceiling from the window. It had just gotten dark, from what he gathered, and it was suddenly apparent that they _had_ actually slept all of the day away—waking only for scheduled meals and trips to the bathroom to let Kanda spew his guts. Allen was thankful he had a strong stomach in order to be there while he did that…but he was starting to feel really horrible about the way his partner looked like he was in pain every time he heaved—and most likely was in a lot of pain. The red splotches that were occasionally coughed up were a testament to how his organs were still being terribly assaulted by the creative force of the Innocence. All he could do was try to support him and stay with him for long period of time to let him leech off the energy he wasn't using.

As they were, Allen was lying flat on his back—with his arms spread out at his sides-with Kanda laying face down against him; bare chest to bare chest. He could feel the warm tingling sensation where his lover was skin to skin with him and he was able to determine it to the Innocence at work. Normally, sleeping for half of the day would have bothered him—or simply lying silently in bed would have bored him to death—but with the way his energy was being dissolved right out of him, he just didn't care and slept nearly as much as Kanda.

He heard a small grumble and the body above him shifted. That was getting more and more frequent as the days passed and usually it ended up with Kanda turning on his back. Allen suspected it was simply getting too uncomfortable to put any pressure on the front. According to Komui, he would actually be unable to lie on his stomach very soon, just because of how much his organs were suffering.

_Knock_

_Knock_

_Knock_

"Hmm…" Allen stirred more at the sound and turned his head to see light leaking under the crack o f the door. "Yeah?"

"Allen, it's Komui."

"Oh. Come in. It's unlocked," he spoke groggily, shifting with Kanda to lay the man on his side next to him.

The door opened gently and Komui stepped in, closing it behind him and moving quietly to put some low light into the room via an oil lamp. The soft light flickered into the dark room after a moment, but it wasn't enough to disturb Kanda.

"How is he doing tonight?"

"He's been sleeping pretty constantly…but when he does get up, he's either eating or throwing up. Isn't there any way to calm his vomiting? He's really taking that hard now and it's getting to the point where he loses orientation afterward."

"Loses orientation?"

"Yeah, it's almost like he's delirious. I had to hold him up and carry him back to bed last time. When he'd not out of it, he won't let me help him, so I don't know what I can do to ease his suffering." Allen voice was soft, but strong with his concern. He simply ran the palm of his hand down Kanda's side warmly, eliciting an almost unregistered sigh from the sleeping man.

"Unfortunately, the pain is going to be something we can only do so much for, but I can see about quelling the extreme vomiting. We're going to have to increase his nutrients if he keeps losing them as he is. Has he expressed feeling any tenderness around the 'womb'?"

"He said that the only thing that doesn't hurt is where _the parasite_ is located."

"That's a good sign. It means the area is protecting itself despite the harsh conditions of the rest of his body. I don't think it will be this extreme for too much longer. Once the protective pocket fully forms, it will be able to work with his body without eating already existing tissue."

Allen leaned up on an elbow and watched the subject of the conversation sleeping. He looked tired, even at rest. A little pang of guilt ran through him…he knew it couldn't be helped for who was in this predicament; but he still wished that it hadn't been Kanda. That man was the last person who really should be in such a mind challenging situation. Kanda was very, horribly, _bad_ at accepting things that he didn't want to believe. He was still referring to the baby by names like "parasite" and "tumor" and he refused to call his _condition_ by what it really was.

Pale fingers brushed over the tired man's cheek and he felt him stir a bit, again. "Kanda, it's dinner time."

"Hnng." The low grunt slipped out after several moments.

"Kanda," he tried again. Komui conveniently only seemed to choose to bother them when it was about time for them to at least try to be up for a while. "Time to get up."

"Hnnn…." A mumble against his neck slipped back into a coherent grunt, followed by a curt, "no."

"Yes. You need to try to eat something. You're not just eating for you, remember?"

"Hnnnng….hm…Yeah…..I'm also….eating for whatever…" A soft sigh left, partially showing coherency. "…I throw up in."

"Well, he appears to be full of delight tonight. I'll leave and give you a chance to rouse him," the Chinese man smiled, watching Allen rubbing his back and trying to stir him more awake. "When you're both dressed and composed, please come to the lounge on this wing. General Tiedoll is here to see Kanda."

And that was all it took to snap Kanda to attention. Subconsciously, the name of his General just slipped through all of his sleep walls and smacked him wide awake—almost painfully, "hnnng…excuse….me….did you…say, Tiedoll?"

"Oh, good evening Kanda. Tiedoll arrived earlier and—"

"My fucking god, you told him! You told him! You fucking told him didn't you!" He sat up with more pained effort than he wanted to admit; but the information that just sunk into his brain made him just power through the agony.

"It was important to tell your General, so he doesn't have to wonder why you are not accompanying him or taking any missions. He is your cover. He's working with us to make certain you are safe. We didn't tell him everything—such as you and Allen—but we told him the general idea."

"I cannot…I cannot believe this. What god hates me this fucking mu—wait. Wait. Wait. You just said _we_. Who is _we_. I was asleep, moyashi was asleep. Lenalee and dumbass are on a mission, last I recall. And other than Jerry, who the fuck else knows?" He was almost to the point of shaking and he could already feel the urges to empty his stomach beginning.

"Well," Komui started with a sigh and folded his arms, but clearly making certain to keep his distance from either of the younger boys. He wasn't stupid enough to think that Kanda couldn't still put him in a world of hurt if he could reach him. "I've had help in research on this, because I just cannot juggle my main duties and all of this without it becoming apparent."

"**Who?**"

"General Cross has been assisting me."

Allen felt his body suddenly go cold. It was as if those magical words had drained his body of any blood he ever had. It actually took several more minutes for the information to truly sink in and connect with his horror stricken brain. If he recalled one thing during his time with his Master…It was that he'd drilled….beaten…and grinded _protection_ into his head. Even if he wasn't much for a _role model_ figure, Cross was a masterful womanizer and thus deemed it very, very important to teach Allen not to end up an unintended father.

_Oh god._

_Oh God._

_OH GOD. _

But…this was a different circumstance, right? It's not like they could have ever expected something like this from two _men_. So Cross would look passed the fact that they'd romped about for…oh nearly a year…without any care in the world. _Right? _Oh god, probably not. He was probably waiting for the appropriate moment to come out and knock his block off before stealing Kanda and his baby away from him as punishment. And make them into his debt slaves.

"W….why is Cross in on this, Komui?" Allen choked with a whine.

"Because General Cross was the only one I could consult with good faith that he wouldn't report to Central. I apologize for not saying anything, but I'd rather have kept the both of you relaxed. Cross is a scientist and a brilliant mind. He took this as a challenge."

Kanda's face was contorting into expressions that Komui wasn't even sure which ones. It was a flash of horrified and mad, flickered with disbelief. "You're telling me…that Cross Marian…has been looking at all of my tests and information since…when?"

"Since just after I had all those tests done on you. I needed a second mind on this. You have to understand, Kanda, this is actually a very huge deal. Cross is very familiar with the complicated nature of Innocence and he was rather interested and was very eager to assist me."

_Oh god, he's doing this to spite me. _

"Wait…does he know it's…Um…" Allen felt a slight flush of embarrassment as the thought hit his brain. "…mine?"

"I didn't tell him…but he figured that out on his own. I apologize Allen…"

_I will never hear the end of this. _

"I see…"

"Well, I'm going to let both of you collect yourselves. Tiedoll was pretty insistent on seeing you and Marie is also with him. If you don't feel well enough, I can ask them to wait until morning…" Komui offered, not really sure how the man's body was holding up at that particular moment.

"I'm a lot worse in the morning, I'll be fine. Now get out."

Without a second of protest, Komui nodded and backed out—exiting the room quietly. He had a feeling that Kanda was more upset than he was willing to display and he wasn't going to make it worse by forcing the boy to actually show it in front of him. It was apparent that he was already feeling the Innocence's affliction on him was nothing more than a humiliating joke.

Allen watched Komui leave and turned to face Kanda, "are…you okay? Is the fact that Cross is—"

Kanda slipped out of the bed and groaned unpleasantly, before shooting a very strong _eat shit and die_ look at Allen. "Stop fuckin asking me that. So Cross knows…Big deal. He's your problem, not mine. Cross isn't your father, so he has no stake in this thing."

"If you really felt like it was no big deal, you wouldn't be as antsy as you are right now, Kanda." Allen replied with a bored look, grabbing for his shirt and picking up Kanda's along the way. They had discovered that the Innocence could pull energy through fabric if Kanda was pressed against him, but Kanda insisted that skin contact felt more relieving.

"Tiedoll is a handful of rooms away; that doesn't ease my annoyance in the least…Auugh…I feel dizzy again," he leaned against the wall, with his back pressed flat against it—head tilted up with his eyes closed.

This gave Allen a chance to look him over. He was looking a little flushed and breathing heavier than he usually would at rest. From the way he stood, Allen could see the taut muscles of his body recoiling to try and restrain the likely urge to curl forward and either hurl or take up the fetal position if the shredding of his insides didn't cease—which, to Kanda's credit, he hadn't yet fully attained the fetal position; though he'd looked ready to curl up in a ball and die a few days before. Allen really hadn't thought the two month mark would involve so much change. Perhaps everyone else would miss the small changes, but Allen was with him constantly.

His eyes analyzed the shadows cast by the dim light and at that particular angle; something really caught his attention to the point where he actually stood up. He hadn't done so to make Kanda uncomfortable, but it was really just something to take into his mind once he was within touching distance of his partner. Cool fingers traced down Kanda's chest, stopping over an area usually ridged with pronounced muscles. Instead of the hard chiseled muscles of his abdomen, he felt a very slight protrusion that seemed to make the visible muscle patterns disappear and appear more…flat. If he hadn't touched, kissed and licked that part of his body so many times, he wouldn't even notice; but this was noticeable to him.

Looking up, he hadn't even realized he'd kneeled before Kanda. The dark eyes looking down at him were slightly widened by his action. It was like those eyes were connecting directly with Allen's all the way to the brain wave; because the recognition of what Allen was getting at was very, extremely strong. His fingers moved together and he pressed his palm flat over the spot in man's midsection. He could feel the warm tingling sensation—stronger than before; feeding it directly.

"Beansprout…"

"I'm sorry, Kanda…I just I'm a lost cause already."

"Tch! You're right about that," Kanda grunted and moved away from him—his face screwed up into an indescribable expression. He hadn't been consciously paying attention to his body since he'd begun to sleep as much as he had. Looking down his front, he could see how the muscles had flattened and arched out just barely—as if the muscles were swollen. It was easy to overlook.

Except, now that he saw it. He couldn't un-see it. It wasn't just an abstract affliction in there with pain accompanying it. It was a physical presence making itself known. Allen could see it…and that made him feel even more self conscious about it. The little idiot had already paternally claimed it without hesitance. It was _his_.

Some disgusted part of Kanda still couldn't bring himself to do the same. It was a little ball of flesh and blood that was causing him agony. A little ball of would-have-been abortion, if the Innocence hadn't told him no. But another part of him had looked at Allen's expression and cemented it into his heart

"I'm sorry," Allen whispered.

Kanda moved back over to Allen, standing right in front of him—looking down. "Quit apologizing. I've never blamed you, have I?"

"I still feel like I'm causing you more issues than I should. I want you happy, but I don't want to see what we made lost in the process. I know it's stupid…But, it's _because_ it's you and me that it makes it more. I told you before…I will do anything for you."

"You are such a sap. Dear god. Why did I sleep with you to begin with," an unpleasant sneer crossed his face and Allen frowned. "Tch…start thinking of names."

Allen blinked up at him, stupidly. "Huh?"

"If you're not going to duck out on me when the reality actually hits you, then you can name it."

Snaking an arm back around Kanda's hip, Allen leaned closer to him—pressing his face against the flat of his midsection and affectionately nuzzling the spot. "I will think of a good one then."

"Now…get off and let's get dressed. If I spend any more time looking at your love struck face, I'm going to vomit on you."

"Charming as always, BaKanda," he snorted and reached up to hand Kanda his shirt.

"Shut up or I'll make _you_ a late term abortion."

Allen smiled, despite the crude commentary. He knew the way Kanda thought and while it wasn't acceptance, it was one step closer to admittance at least. If Kanda was thinking ahead enough to encourage him to think of names, then he was at least showing some resolve to see it through to the end. As guilty as it made him feel, it brought a joy to Allen that he hadn't understood until then. Maybe the idea of being responsible for something that would tie them together forever was enticing. Maybe he was just stupidly smitten by the concept of holding a precious little mini-Kanda in his arms.

Lavi jokingly told him that he was born to be someone's dad.

Lavi might not have been wrong.

He didn't care if people thought he was young. All he needed was his heart. Thinking back to the night that started all of this, Allen knew he loved him then…and the many times before that.

Mentally, smacked himself.

_**This** was why Cross was so insistent on making sure I didn't breed. _

"I hope he looks like you," Allen blurted.

Kanda turned with his mouth open and gaped stupidly at Allen before kicking a shoe up at the little turd, "what the hell, beansprout? Shut the hell up and get dressed."

"Yes, mommy."

"Oh you are _dead, little motherfucker._"

Allen thought it was worth it.

**To Be Continued…**

_A/N: The reviews on this is insane to me. But I'm so glad everyone is enjoying it! I know mpreg is one of those things that really has to be done with care to not be unrealistic and ridiculous. I sure hope I'm being neither of those! Thank you all for reading!_


	8. Miscommunication

**Incubation  
><strong>_Part Eight_

"Okay, you can let go of me now," a stretched whine came from the man captive in the hug of the General. "You haven't even said a word to me." He hung his head and waited for the strong clutch of the affectionate man to weaken.

"I'm just so thrilled for you, Yuu. You have come such a ways." General Tiedoll was known for his affections for his apprentices-but Kanda felt like the man had it out for him specially. Perhaps it was because he was still resisting being turned into a loving, bucket of sunshine...and he always would resist.

"You're supposed be more surprised. Or upset. Or... Disappointed," Kanda muttered, waiting for his shoulders to be completely released—but he knew that was a fruitless wish, because Tiedoll's hands clamped over his shoulder in that fatherly way. The old artist was always finding ways to get under his skin…and he didn't even mean to. The bastard just truly cared for him like a son.

"It's a point of growth in my son's life. I am certainly surprised, since you were always such a shy type. That you have breached those barriers and become a confident man, I am more than pleased."

"…You're confusing me…" He tried to ignore the building nausea caused by the man's tight—and rather surprising—embrace. His internal organs were protesting every muscle twitch and he really just wanted to hurl his guts and get it over with. Unfortunately, he knew that hurling his guts wouldn't make the constant burning, twisting, tearing pain in his midsection stop. That was only going to continue. He could tolerate the constant need to heave all of anything he ate…or even eating as much food as Beansprout could convince him to choke down…but the excruciating pain from his internal organs was just enough to make him beg his body to sleep it all away.

"Of course, I'm to assume nothing has been said to anyone else. And I will do my best to cover your absence when the time comes. I'm sure you will be needed."

"…What. You're…confusing me, General. A lot. What are you getting at?"

"I know you're a little young, but I think this will be good for you."

"…What exactly _did_ they tell you?" Kanda stared, suddenly feeling like _he_ was the one left out of the loop. He hadn't liked the pleasant expression from the moment they stepped into the room and he didn't like the strangely praising aura the older man was giving him. If he had any real idea what was happening…he should be reacting a little less…Happily.

"That there would be a young one in the future, yours. I was quite surprised. I never would have imagined my son a father."

"I'm not your so—" It hit him like a sack of bricks. Tiedoll…hadn't been told jack shit…Or rather, jack shit that was actually relevant to the issue. His brain ticked for several long—very long—moments, as he realize he had to actually correct the man. Snapping his head to the left he found Komui in the room, "I thought you said you _told _him!"

"I wasn't the one specifically to speak to him, Kanda. That was Cross, I didn't know there was a misunderstanding. I apologize. I'm going to go get General Cross now, if you'd like to correct the mix up in the mean time." Komui knew when to duck out. It was no longer his business how they went about explaining it to Tiedoll. It was Kanda's familiar, after all. If the boy couldn't get his issue worked out enough to at least tell one person closest to him—then they were going to have to prepare for the worst when Kanda's attitudes shifted toward the baby.

"Wait…how am I…" But the scientist had already left—leaving him with Allen, Tiedoll and Marie. He was at least grateful that Lavi and Lenalee were out of sight. Because Lavi would be enjoying this suffering of his too much.

"Is something the matter?"

"…I…er…well…" Kanda stared at him. Tiedoll was one of the most patient and understanding people in the world, he imagined. But it was no longer about how the reaction would come…it was about his personal inability to actually speak the words and admit it to others, let alone himself. He was afflicted with a growing lifeform…but he couldn't call it for what it was. He couldn't call his condition for what it was. Because he was a man. He was a very stubborn one that just couldn't wrap his head around the concept alone. Despite the days of sleeping through all the agony and then seeing Beansprout get all weird and sentimental, he was still curling inward in denial.

Even _he_ knew it was denial. How bad is that?

All he could think to do was retreat, but he really _couldn't. _He wanted to. Sleep sounded better, the longer he stood there, watching the man wait for his reply. What the hell could he say? He turned in place and stared at Allen—dumbstruck a bit. Allen had a similar expression. He was a little less caught by the tongue, probably because he wasn't the one being uncomfortably tossed around between Cross's vague truth and the actual truth. Cross…that bastard. He probably knew he could easily be misunderstood.

Allen's eyes connected with his and he made it perfectly clear in that look that he was not going to speak the words required to inform the artist about the facts. Tiedoll thought he was going to be a father, not…a mo…moth…e….Nope.

"Um…General Tiedoll?" The younger partner stepped a little close, to stand next to Kanda. Kanda was still faced away from Tiedoll and Allen suspected that he would remain that way until the discussion closed and it was made apparent that Kanda was _not_ suddenly going to be a daddy.

The idea of Kanda being a father in the typical sense of the word…was really less believable to Allen than the strange predicament they were in.

"Hm? Oh hello Allen. How are you this evening?"

"I…I'm fine, but I think my Master didn't tell you what was really happening. It might have been a m…misunderstanding…but, K…Kanda isn't going to be a _father._"

"Oh?"

As Allen stammered to try and word what he meant, Marie stepped over closer to Kanda. The larger man stood next to him and Kanda looked up at him, feeling suddenly cornered. He knew exactly what Marie was doing…he was listening for changes—he'd probably already pick up on the way the conversation was heading. Marie was smart and more likely to believe in any strange phenomenon with Kanda—considering Marie met Kanda because of very abnormal circumstances.

"Have you been well, Kanda?" The man asked, both of them facing away from the stammered conversation that was attempting to take place. Kanda might have felt bad about pawning that off on Allen, but…he didn't have the stomach to do it himself and Allen _put the damn thing in there_, he could explain it.

"…Marie…"

"Your heart rate is faster than I remembered it being and your breathing pattern changed."

"You already figured it out," Kanda stared at him with a bored expression. "Don't tease me."

"I'm not teasing you, Kanda. I wasn't entirely sure it was what I was thinking, but I can't help but think of this as…not too unusual for you."

Kanda pursed his lips into a fine line and nearly shoved his elbow into Marie's side. The man was blind and couldn't see his reactions—which made his expression useless—but he made the sour face anyway. "You are a real pal, Marie."

He felt an arm wrap around his and the hold tightened with every clumsy word the owner of that arm uttered. Allen was still trying to word it in the best possible way to keep it from damaging Kanda's image. It was a kind gesture, but he was doing a terrible job of getting to the point.

"So, you're telling me exactly what, Allen?" Despite the soft kindness laced into Tiedoll's voice, it scared Allen stiff. Tiedoll wasn't Cross—no—but it was just the fear of having to say _that_ to Kanda's General…and then explain how he was the other half of the equation. Tiedoll wouldn't hurt him or be mad at him, but he didn't know how most people would react to being told their adoptive _son_ is pregnant.

"Uh…"

"Master, he's saying that Kanda didn't impregnate someone else," Marie stepped in swiftly—suddenly Allen's hero.

Kanda shrunk between Allen and Marie. Even if the large man was making this easier on both of them, it still didn't make him happy to hear any of it. He didn't like the way it sounded and he didn't like the way it grinded reality in. It made him feel sick again and feeling sick only hammered the facts in…

"So…"

"Kanda's the one who's pregnant."

It was an involuntary reaction, but he felt his toes curl and he nearly choked on the plain statement. Marie made it sound so casual. He made it sound like it was normal for a man to be in that position. Kanda hated it. Despised it. Thought it was a terrible joke…but he had to succumb to the facts. And Marie's words just reflected those facts.

"Yuu?" Tiedoll's voice reached his ears and the younger man turned around.

"…Yeah. He's not really wrong. It just…kinda happened."

"Hmm…how did something like this happen? You're telling me that you, yourself are with child?"

"…yes…" his voice came out so small that he wanted to disappear.

"It was because of Innocence…" Allen cleared his throat and found a little confidence to speak—once seeing how Tiedoll seemed more curious and surprised than upset. He had to remind himself that he wasn't like Cross….but Allen just wasn't used to teachers who were nice and immediately had to assume the worst reaction out of situations like these. Not that this situation was normal in the least anyway. "It apparently dissolved into his system…and worked its magic that way."

"Hmm...He's already an accommodator to another, does this mean the Innocence is bearing an exorcist for it?"

"Komui seems to think it would be a parasitic accommodator…"

"I see…since, you're the one telling me this…Am I to assume that _you_ are the father to be?"

An uncomfortably groan came from Allen, "…yeah…" He wasn't uncomfortable by the fact that, yes, he was the father of it…it just felt like…he was in that awkward situation—telling a father that he'd knocked his girl up. Kanda was still too withdrawn to even say it himself. So it made it like the most weird discussion to him.

"That certainly is a situation then. How far along are you?"

"Two months." The more he spoke, the more uncomfortable he felt. Kanda didn't like answering specific questions. He didn't want to have to talk more than necessary and Tiedoll was essentially _his_ doting daddy…which meant that all personal boundaries dissolved when it came to things like these.

"When did you find out?"

"…Uh…somewhere around two weeks."

"I'm assuming, then, since I've been contacted, you plan to keep it to term? May I ask how you plan to birth it?"

_Please stop asking me these things. Please stop. Please stop. _"I…didn't plan anything…it just didn't…give me a choice and…" The thought occurred to him at that moment more fully. How _were _they going to get it out? If they couldn't even abort it without hurting him, how in the hell would they remove a small human? He suddenly felt the urge to vomit so hard that he buckled and held his hand over his mouth. If he opened his mouth, it was over and he really didn't want to blow chunks all over Tiedoll.

"Kanda?"

Allen had already reached for the nearest trashcan. It had become routine and it was thanks to combined efforts of Allen's quick response and Kanda's massive ego not letting him be willing to have to clean up a mess that they managed to get him throwing up into something that wasn't the floor.

"That's easy, we'll just cut him open." The gruff words floated into the room and Allen's skin crawled before he even looked up. He knew that tone…He knew that haughtiness laced into every word. Slowly trailing his vision up, sure enough, he saw his Master in all of his egotistical glory.

"Ah Cross, good evening."

"I must apologize for the confusion. It's hard to give that kind of message properly over that sort of communication."

"You _bastard_." Kanda choked, nearly gagging on the next attempted heave. His body shook while he attempted to recover from it. "You did that on purpose."

"Did I? Just as on purpose as my idiot apprentice knocking you up, yes? Tell me, Kanda. How does that feel? I hope the sex was worth it."

"M…master," Allen squealed and felt his face heat up to a dizzying degree.

"And Allen, did I teach you nothing? Horny kids these days. Now, stand up. I need to take a look at you."

Kanda stared directly up at Cross and made a face. He couldn't even feel his feet, he was so humiliated. He didn't want to do much more than go back to sleep and pretend nothing happened ever. "…No."

"Don't make me have to stand you up myself."

"I'm fine, go away."

"I'll determine if you're fine or not."

Kanda merely shook his head and made a face when Cross bent closer to him. The man's large hand clasped around one his wrists and the other half pulled him forcefully to his feet by nearly crushing his damn spine with his arm around his back. "Hnnnnnng!"

"Master! Don't hurt him!"

"Shut up, boy. Go sit in a corner and learn how to keep it in your pants."

With those swift words, Allen was silenced and withdrew to merely watching Cross look over the emotionally stunned body of his lover—poking, prodding and looking for changes. "Tiedoll, looks like you should bestow your wisdom to your _children_ for the future. So at least they will know not to get caught up in the moment. Or they may end up mothers."

Kanda wanted to punch the man and make him stop talking, but he knew Cross had only begun the months of lectures he was certain Beansprout had been afraid of.

_I hate my life._

**To Be Continued…**

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><p><em>AN: Re-reading this chapter made me realize how horrible I am to write this with a straight face. Haha. I know I keep focusing on this story, but I'm slowly but surely working on the others. I accidentally overwrote myself and now I'm suffering the consequences. I'm still floored this has so much response. I truly appreciate all your commentary! It puts me in the mood to write more xD. Til next time!_


	9. Double

**Incubation  
><strong>_Part Nine_

"Do you feel any tenderness around here?"

"Hng….Yes."

"In comparison to before, is it less or more?"

"Less."

"Well, that's a good sign. The Innocence is easing up on the tissue it takes from you. It's made enough room in there, but you're going to have a lot of stuff crammed in there. You're also beginning to show faintly, which bothered me." The red haired General sat back and crossed his arms. He was dressed down to his white shirt and slacks—with his red hair tied back—and he looked so…odd. He looked smarter, Kanda thought. He felt a lot less threatened by this man poking around like this, than when he was in his uniform and had that obnoxious cocky grin.

"Couldn't that be because I'm not supposed to have room in there to begin with?" The swordsman asked, eyes fluttering to try and keep open. He was tired. Stupidly tired. He spent all day soaking up Allen's energy and when Allen needed to go do something, he'd crawled to Marie and _borrowed_ some of his energy—who stayed even when Tiedoll had left after his visit two weeks before.

Kanda didn't even feel the weeks float by. Sleeping had kind of made everything pass by him without noticing. He hadn't even realized that Tiedoll had left again, but the man left him a note saying he would return. Part of him was grateful, because the several days immediately after the most awkward conversation of his life had resulted in Tiedoll harassing him with those little fatherly things. He was so sick of the "how are you feeling" question that he could vomit if he heard it again.

But you just couldn't stop Tiedoll. He was a crazy old artist…but he cared and if Kanda didn't feel like shit constantly, he might appreciate that. Luckily, Marie was great at saving him from prolonged suffering.

"It's possible that it's just because it's not how your system is supposed to work, but with your organs getting shifted, and reworked around in here, you shouldn't be popping out yet. Or rather, I thought you shouldn't be. So I ran another test on you."

"Aren't I supposed to…sign permission slips for you to abuse your power with my personal information?" Kanda questioned dryly, only to be met with that snarky—cocky—grin.

"Don't be silly, child. You're body is my scientific playground."

"Suddenly, I don't like you," another grunt came. "So, did you find anything? Or do you just want me here to stare at me?"

"I'm waiting for the little idiot to get here. In the mean time, have you been eating properly?" The man asked, pressing his fingers into a rather sore spot on the man's abdomen. He was checking for reactions, in case his organs were still as damaged as before, but it appeared like they were healing better now. The extreme sensitivity has gone a way a bit and he wasn't vomiting blood like a fountain anymore. Those were positives at least.

"I don't even want to look at food."

"Well, you need to start wanting to. You're going to deprive yourself of nutrients, and then it will be taken from your body's own nutrient bank," he said sucking in a breath and casually exhaling a mouthful of smoke.

"The idea of puking everything I eat does not encourage me to eat _more._"

"You'll feel at lot worse later on if you don't force nutrients in your body. You're not a woman. Your body won't handle it as well. If you can't eat, I'll find another way to pump you full of nutrients," he sat back and allowed the boy a chance to button his shirt back up.

"I don't care. I just want this over."

"You have months before it's _just over._" The man let off a sardonic grin and closed his eyes. "I warned the little idiot to be careful."

"Are you telling me, that you would be concerned about it if you were fuckin a man? Men don't generally reproduce with each other."

"I'm careful regardless. I don't care if the woman's already pregnant. But, I suppose this is a freak happening," Cross annunciated. "However," he took another long drag, watching Kanda, "both of you are freaks. I have to wonder what kind of freak you'll make."

"Shut up…" Kanda groused and turned his body from his direction. He didn't feel comfortable talking about it. That was his problem with Cross. Cross knew he wasn't comfortable. Cross already took note of the fact that he refused to refer to _it_ as a person or the fact that he was _pre….preg…._ No…Still no. He refused.

"It's going to kick into that head of yours eventually. Unless you want me to gut you open and forcefully remove it now. I can do that. Can't promise your safety. But I could."

"I said shut up…It's not worth the risk…"

"…Or are you concerned about how Allen would feel about that?"

"Why won't you leave me alo—"

The door broke their conversation like glass. That was fine by Kanda. He was sick of Cross throwing him the same topics that were only set to make him squirm. He idly watched Allen step into the room. The boy was carrying a folder and had Timcanpy floating around by his head. Kanda could swear he saw Allen's eyes go from soft, looking at him, to shading over in dismay—seeing Cross. Then there was the outward display of aggression that snaked across his pale face and that made him curious. Allen was beginning to actually look…upset?

"Beansprout?"

"What the hell!"

"Hmm? What's your problem now, idiot apprentice?"

"Uh, how about…You're _smoking_!" Allen screeched, pointing to the cigarette hanging from the man's mouth—lit and letting off a stream of smoke. "You're _smoking_ around someone who could suffer from that, you know! He shouldn't be breathing that! And…Kanda! How did you not even notice!"

"He's yours, pretty boy," Cross snorted with a disgustingly haughty grin. He sat back and crossed a foot over his knee, leaning his arm out to Timcanpy—who floated over happily to take the remaining part of the cigarette. Cross deposited the offense to Timcanpy and waited.

"Fuckin…beansprout, calm your shit. It's not a big deal, he barely even smoked the one and it's not like he's blowing it in my fa—ah…" He leaned back as Allen got closer to him, leaning nearly face to face with him. In fact, he _was_ face to face with him. The beansprout's nose brushed against his and his hands had sifted through his hair and left them with their foreheads pressed together.

"I would love it if you would take better care, BaKanda. Smoke isn't good for you in any amount. And I'm just worried about you," Allen's soft words trailed to Kanda's ears and the recipient felt his body tighten as if he was being assaulted by something too stimulating to want to respond to. The little beansprout bastard was taking that "sappy voice" route and trying to guilt him into paying more attention.

Well…he was _failing._ Because all of his attention just went out the window when he was that close and that little fuckass was breathing all hotly against his cheek. Just when he thought his desire for sex had entirely disappeared, he found himself wanting those sensations that sex gave them when he first discovered just how much he could leech the little shit. It pissed him off for various reasons. He was told that he couldn't…He didn't want to spend the effort on the process, just skip to the good part. He wanted Allen's touch bad enough that it made him feel that way at all…and he knew Allen would never let it happen.

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

_FUCK._

He was being asked to not ignore things like Cross puffing toxins into his breathing space and all he could think of was slipping his hand into Moyashi's pan—

"Okay, children, this is how you started this mess. So keep the foreplay to a minimum. You're here to discuss the result of _that_."

Allen choked and sneered at Cross before looking back to Kanda, "promise me you'll get up and leave if he lights up again?"

"Seriously beansprout…"

"Kanda…I can't tell _him_ to fuck off. He'll fold me in half. So I'm depending on you to not let him do it around you," those soft lips spoke annoyingly sweet words. Kanda never fell for that bullshit before—because Allen's romantic side really just made him want to punch kittens most of the time.

"Enough, I'll refrain from smoking around him, so you can stop pretending to be attractive to your mate. It's hilarious, but I'm not here for a comedy show." Once again, Allen's glare turned on the redhead and it only really made Cross amused. He wasn't stupid. He could see that Allen was doing a swell job of wooing his companion, but he wasn't going to give that kid any room for compliment. He was a little idiot and would be constantly reminded. "Besides, I have more important matters to discuss."

"Well, we're listening," Kanda muttered, coming out of his temporary lust. "And make it quick, because I'm sick of seeing your face."

"Very well," he responded, feeling entirely too much joy in talking about this to both of the very mentally breakable teens. "I took blood from you two weeks ago and I've been retesting you samples since then. And I found out the reason why you're starting to show more than I liked for being ten weeks along. I suppose I should hand it to you Allen, when you fuck up, you make certain to do it spectacularly."

"…What? What did _I _do?"

"Why…what did you do? You put twins into your little girlfriend there."

Allen facial expression made it worth the wait. Cross knew how it would go. Allen would get riled up at the way he started, then he would crash the poor boy's senses into the dirt once the facts connected into his mind. It was almost cute if he wasn't an idiot child. The boy's silver eyes widened and he just stared stupidly for another moment. "D….did…you…you say tw…twin…s?"

"That is what I said. You couldn't stop at one, you had to give him two, hmm? I'm sure his body thanks you for your donation."

A small whine drifted in the air and Allen was actually surprised that it wasn't his own sound. It was more likely for him to have that emotional response, but this actually belong to Kanda. His eyes moved over Kanda and he immediately realized that he was not taking the news very well. His hands moved to cover his face and he went limp in Allen's arms. It was bizarre and it scared Allen a bit.

"Kanda?"

"Not ….here…right now…" A mutter came from behind those hands. He was absolutely fucking floored too hard to comprehend his own existence. It was hard enough to wrap his head around one parasite taking up space in his body…but this turned into something bigger and less ignorable. This turned into twin Allen spawns. This turned into the thoughts pouring into his head to remind him that this wasn't a terrible dream. He was putting his brain to use, trying to think about what it _meant._

Twins.

That meant two.

Twins.

Meant two…

_Two…_

_Babies._

More than his body was ready for…One was more than his body was ready for…this was his body being mocked in the worst way imaginable. The announcement of twins was the uncomfortable shock into reality. He couldn't ignore it now. The way the words just floated out of Cross's mouth had done it in such a way that made his body seize up in dismay he didn't know was there. It created anxiety he didn't realize he was even capable of. His chest hurt at the way he was suppressing the impending freak-out session. The need to hurl his guts came back to him so sharply, that he didn't have much time to prepare for that one and he'd be complaining about cleaning out the cushions later.

Covering his mouth with a hand, he just tried to breathe and barely even noticed Allen trying to talk him down.

"Go take him back to your room and let him sleep. I think he's had enough for a day and I'm sure you have lots to mull about, kids. I'll get with Komui to make some adjustments."

"What about…" Allen interrupted and glanced to the mess they'd be leaving.

"I'll take care of it. I spent months cleaning your bed wetting problem. I can handle some spoiled upholstery."

Allen whined at that, but complied to Cross's order. Kanda wasn't exactly catatonic, but he wasn't responding to much. It was apparent to Allen that he was wrapped up in his thoughts and it was only fair. He just got told their accident was a _huge_ accident. All he could do was keep close and wait for Kanda's ego and mind to meet eye to eye.

"I love you, Kanda," he whispered, guiding him out—grateful that Cross had decided to cut the scolding down enough to let Kanda rest. It probably wasn't good for him to be shocked that hard.

Not that he wasn't shocked. Truthfully, the fact hadn't sunk in all the way yet. He himself was coming to terms with being responsible for the creation of a life…Now that was double and it was slightly frightening. But frightening or not, he would be there for him.

_Shit. _

_Lavi and Lenalee are going to flip when they find out…_

_And Lavi will…oh man…I will never hear the end of this._

**To Be Continued…**

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><p><em>AN: Have I ever mentioned how much I fuckin love writing Cross? Well I do. Thanks for the lovely reviews everyone! Glad I haven't disappointed anyone yet_.


	10. Dream

**A/N: Okay guys, this one starts out a little spicy, I don't know exactly if it falls out of rating standards, but since I don't really describe anything [more or less suggestive tones and dialogue. I'm going to leave it. However, if you guys think it risks the story, please let me know, and I'll try to figure out how the hell to fix this for the site.**

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><p><strong>Incubation<br>**Part Ten

Mouths crushed against each other in a strangled fit of desire. The door had barely gotten opened before fingers started pulling clothes and needy teeth grazed hot flesh. Kanda had taken beansprout by surprise and he'd partially surprised himself. Normally, they went about their heated romping more discreetly; but he forgot to care at that particular moment when he was pulling Allen free from his clothes and running his tongue down skin that others didn't get the pleasure of seeing.

Perhaps it was a mission complete, in conjunction with them being separated for weeks before, that sent him into such a needy fit. He didn't know, he didn't care. All he understood was what his body wanted and he was going to get it from the little bastard who had managed to become the focus of his desires. It was clear that the victim of his sudden sexual assault wasn't complaining about it and Kanda managed to move him back to the closest surface—dropping him back into a chair and moving himself to his knees in front of him.

He was sure this looked degrading as hell, but pleasure took a backseat to any images of himself he tried to follow. He enjoyed making those pleasured grunts rip from the beansprout's throat. Trailing saliva along skin, he knew he was driving the brat absolutely nuts. The squirming gave it away and he couldn't help but feel the need to press him nearly to the breaking point. It wasn't often that he took the initiative in this particular practice, but he liked the direction Allen's reaction was taking and if that meant devouring him entirely, he could take the challenge.

"Hnn…Kanda…" Allen's voice trickled to his ears and it sent more waves of desire through him. It just made him dance his tongue against his heated flesh. Even the chilled air was inferior to the hot intensity between them.

During his assault, he found himself slipping out of his own pants. It was an action that he wasn't even aware he was doing, but he knew it was just a reflection of what he wanted. Allen was going to be a good beansprout and comply. He brushed his hair out of his face and pursed his lips once more, pulling back—causing Allen to let out nearly inhuman, strangled groans. Part of him wanted to just keep on until Allen couldn't take it anymore, but he also had other plans to carry out.

"Unh…Hey…what are you…?"

Kanda leaned up and left a languid kiss against his lips, sharing saliva sloppily; but not caring. Rising from his knees, he kicked his slacks completely off and crawled over the boy—now trapped between the chair and him. He didn't figure Allen would complain and returned to licking the side of his face possessively. "I know how much you dislike taking me dry. So I thought I'd give you something. Since I know you didn't bring anything and I didn't either. I won't let you last long, so it should be enough."

"Kanda…" The whisper came back. It was strained and laced with the same level of lust that started the whole thing. Kanda wasn't a stupid man. He knew how this particular play made the boy react. When he took matters into his own hands, yet still offered his body, it was utterly sense shattering to Allen. And he wasn't going to tell stories and say he didn't enjoy grinding himself on that horny little lover of his. Shit, just _thinking _about it sent lustful waves across him, until he covered Allen's body with his own—seated in the man's lap. Any flickers of initial pain didn't last. This wasn't new to either of them.

This fluid motion between them _had _taken lots of practice; but when they finally memorized each other's bodies, it was nearly a second nature. The angry, painful, and needy romping had turned into eager, gratifying bouts of companionship—laced with just enough violent desire to keep them both happy.

Teeth scraped the flushed flesh of the boy's neck, eliciting a groan. He never pierced skin, but he always went almost far enough to. At that point, when the friction was high and bordering on raw, he didn't have the capacity to leave well tailored marks. His fingers dug into the boy's back and he could feel his heart beating as hard as his own. For as intense as the attack was, he knew it wasn't going to be long; but that didn't bother him in the least. It was always about quality—not quantity.

The only sound filtering through the chilly air was their breathing. The panting escalated as the seconds slipped into minutes and Allen's body seized against him. The burning hot desire between them pushed them into their own world, where nothing but that moment existed. Allen's arms wrapped tightly around his body, embracing him flush against him in his hazed aftermath.

He was losing himself in the stupid brat and leaned his neck back to bring his face to his. Eyes slipped closed and, blindly, he took the breath right out of the brat's lungs with the neediness of his kiss. Just on the edge, he moved his mouth back enough to let a groan whisper across Allen's lips.

Panting hard, his eyes shot open and he sat up.

"Kanda?"

Dark eyes looked over stupidly. Allen was sitting next to him, with those big silver eyes full of every ounce of concern his body could muster. What he wasn't; was in a chair in a hotel room, on a mission, out in the middle of no where…and Kanda wasn't riding him like a horny teenager. He was actually not even directly touching the boy at the particular moment. They were both fully clothed…

It took him a long moment for all the receptors in his brain to function properly and remember where he was. It took him a longer moment to try and piece together why on earth he'd gone one minute—romping with his lover—to the next minute—sitting up in a bed with the same half awake person. As clarity leaked back into his mind, he realized why it felt so vivid—like he'd lived that particular scene before…

…He'd just vividly dreamed about their last mission…and it sunk into his head just hard enough to have him uncomfortably needy. _Fuck_. "Hm…" He grunted shortly, dropping his gaze down to the space between them. It wasn't like he could just up and announce: 'I dreamed I was fucking you'. Well, he could…but his ego was resisting that.

"Are you okay? You were clammy, and—"

"Shut up, I'm fine," the response was with sniper's accuracy, cutting Allen's words down like targets.

But people like Allen don't stay down. "Kanda…are you sure you're okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Ouch, no need to bite my head off. You kinda lost it earlier. Sorry for giving a damn," Allen said with a tinge of annoyance. It wasn't like his dark haired mate was the best of people upon waking, but he usually wasn't that unpleasant—not enough to have that _tone_ anyway. "If you're fine, then okay. But if there's something wrong…"

"It's fine…" His voice came out softer and he took another breath—letting himself calm down from the way his blood had been surging through his arteries. "I just woke up from a dream, that's all."

Allen leaned forward and rested his head on his folded knees, watching him carefully. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about? I know, I know: _shut the fuck up, beansprout_. But I thought I'd offer."

"No…it's just…fine…I…" _Was just dreaming about things I'd do to you right now if I didn't think you'd tell me NO. _"…was tired. That's all."

"The shock must have gotten to you. If I had known he would just say it like that I—"

"Shut up, Moyashi. That bastard has no other way he can function if he's not degrading others and victimizing women. I'm not…not thinking about that right now. And I don't want to. Understand?" He snapped the last part harder than he meant. He just…didn't want to think about..._Twins_. It didn't _scare_ him…it didn't really worry him…it just meant something that he wasn't willing to own up to. It all seemed too farfetched. All too stupid. All too surreal and even as he stared at Allen, he felt like _this_ was the dream. He felt like his reality was back in the hotel where he and the little idiot had gone at it too hard, too fast and he broke his sense of reality for a moment. It just wasn't possible or plausible for the events of the last month to have actually been the truth he was living with.

He hadn't spent a month balancing between constant sleep and the insane urge to vomit. He hadn't felt so dizzy at times that he had to sit down. His sense of smell wasn't making everything like an overbearing odor. His stomach was still toned as it should be and no organs were being torn to pieces in his gut. Allen hadn't spilled his affections and promised to be there, despite the deep hole they'd gotten themselves into.

None of this was real…

Except it was.

"Dear god, I'm pregnant."

The words floated out of his mouth before he could even stop them and it sent a strange tremor up his spine. His breath caught in his throat and he didn't know how to react after that particular outburst. Allen's hands in front of him were folded in the sheet tightly and he knew why. For him to say that…was probably alarming. Even so, he couldn't look up at the brat. Seeing those big doe eyes just brought him down from the pedestal of his own ego. The way the stupid little shit cared so hard made him less confrontational—though, he still felt like he could throw him through a window if he kept up the sappy love struck bullshit.

A hand trailed across his cheek and buried into his hair. The body attached to the hand moved closer until he was wrapped in the younger boy's arms. The warmth between them left him feeling soothed, for some strange reason. His eyes slipped closed and he felt his mind flash back to the last thing he remembered in his dream. Opening his eyes again, he shifted uncomfortably—thinking about the way he felt that night.

Whatever made him dream that memory had left a fresh perspective on it. He'd never remembered feeling that…urgent. He'd certainly never been in that much of a hurry to use the boy like he craved him like air.

"Beansprout…I think I figured something out…"

"Hmm?"

"The reason I jumped you so hard that night…On that mission… I had already absorbed the Innocence without knowing. We never checked til morning. It made me unable to stop myself, I think."

Allen made a face that could only be described as a pout and he placed his hand to Kanda's chin and pulled him too look at him finally. "I would have rather thought you were just that excited to have me alone."

"All I said was it made me unable to stop myself, beansprout. I didn't say it made me want you too. I already had that fuckin problem before it heisted by body."

Whether he realized it or not, the words he'd spoken had just shot straight to Allen's heart and nearly made the white haired boy attack him with a kiss. He'd indirectly admitted that he wanted Allen, regardless of outside influence…that was like being told that Kanda really did care about him—despite how damn abusive he _could_ be at times.

"Well, that's relieving. I'd hate to think I didn't have at least some desirability."

Kanda stared at him and let a very teasing smile faint his lips, "you have a little."

"A _little_?"

"Yeah, just a speck."

"You're such an ass."

"You seem to care for this ass…an awful lot," he sneered, moving his face closer to Allen's.

"Yeah…well…wait…what made you think of all that to begin with?"

Kanda reeled back for a second, completely forgetting that his revelation had come because he'd been dreaming about doing unspeakable things with the beansprout. "Hn…I…" He continued, mumbling out the words incoherently.

"You what?"

"I was dreaming about it," he turned his head away with a scowl.

Allen blinked a bit before his brain quickly caught on and suddenly, the strange panting made sense. "Oooh. Er…"

"You know…" Kanda started, leaning just a bit back to see the full of Allen's face. Eyes connected and it didn't take the British teen long to figure out Kanda wanted something. He had a _look_ in his eyes when he wanted something. Especially _this_ kind of look…and given the topic of the conversation, he didn't have to even think twice on where he was going to attempt to go.

"No."

"You did eve—"

"No, Kanda."

"Buzz kill."

"Komui told us not to risk it. Just let it go and you'll calm down enough to go back to bed. I'm not going to put you in danger beca—ah!" Allen's expression changed to one of slight fear when Kanda righted himself to his knees and leaned over him on the bed.

"I don't give a damn shit. I was told I have twin spawns of you in my body and I just _admitted_ to something I didn't want to. You're going to fuck me or I'm going to strangle you to death. If I have to give you incentive, I can give you incentive. I actually don't feel like projectile vomiting, so don't you dare take this chance from me." It came out like a husky growl, restraining fierce demand that Allen was starting to get the impression that he wasn't going to win this fight.

"Kanda…this is your health at ri—"

"Allen Walker…"

"Hnng…" Allen whined, hearing his name drop off Kanda's tongue so demandingly. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that he was attempting to say no to sex with Kanda and losing his resolve quickly. "Okay…okay…just. You have to tell me if you feel _any_ discomfort. Any. At all. I don't care how little. Just tell m—hmmf."

Kanda cut him off with a hand over his mouth. "I'll tell you if anything hurts and I won't push it, blah blah blah, can we have sex now?"

Allen pulled Kanda's hand away and kissed his palm, "are you sure you're okay? You really were out of it earlier."

"I need less thinking. I need you to shut up. I've already gone through my daily dose of character growth, now _**fuck me.**_"

Letting out a snort, Allen raised a hand and grabbed a handful of his shirt—pulling him down. "I better not hear any complaints in the morning, when I'm holding back your hair because you're sick to your stomach and whining about sore muscles over the tub."

"I'll just vomit on you."

"That is not the way to get me excited, BaKanda."

"Tch." He moved his arm and ran his fingers along the fabric of Allen's sleep slacks, trailing up until he ran out of leg, moving his hand out of Allen's direct line of sight…

"Hnnnngn!"

"_That_ worked then. Ha."

**To be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Not too explicit is it? I tried to keep it vague. _


	11. Separate

**Incubation  
><strong>_Part Eleven_

A loud slam echoed into the lounge and several heads turned to the sound of a familiar redhead bursting in. "Holy hell! Twins!" He blurted with excitement practically radiating off him.

Two particular pairs of eyes stared at him; both maintaining a strange blank look of disbelief. Of the two, Kanda shifted more uncomfortably at this sudden outburst. Dark eyes narrowed and the owner of those eyes scowled, "quiet the fuck down, you imbecile. And who the fuck told you?"

"Oh man! So it's true! Twins!"

"L...Lavi, it's not that big of a deal, please calm down," Allen stuttered, trying to avoid Lavi unintentionally sending Kanda into a massive fit or worse. His dark haired partner may have come to relative terms with the concept, but they didn't need to test just how stable Kanda really was. Allen was still worried. He knew he really shouldn't be-according to Kanda-but it was just how he was. He was just going to make certain to keep an eye on his pessimistic lover.

"But... Twins!"

"Lavi, stop it," a soft voice chuckled behind him, coming into view. "I don't know if I should say congratulations or what," Lenalee smiled at Kanda.

"I take it your fruitcake of a brother told you?"

"Actually General Cross did."

"Cross? That mother fucker!" Kanda growled and kicked the coffee table in front of him. "He's out to upset me!"

"Nonsense," a deeper voice echoed in from behind Lenalee. She turned to look up at the sharp smirk of the redhead in question. "If I wanted to upset you, I'd tell everyone about what you and my stupid apprentice were busy doing last night." Allen's face contorted into one of strangled embarrassment being masked with a smile. He cast a glance at his two friends sheepishly.

"Oh...my...Allen~" Lavi teased.

"I thought you stupid kids were told to stop that activity."

"Do I look like I'm suffering, Cross? Now stay out of my business," Kanda scowled and shot him a terrible look. He was hiding his embarrassment the only way he knew how; with anger.

"Everything in your body is my business, boy." The General proved to be unaffected by this and simply pushed passed Lavi and Lenalee, moving toward Kanda-who was sitting with his legs curled up under him, next to Allen. He looked down over the frame of his glasses and challenged the boy to protest. "And if that includes this little idiot, then I will say something."

The 'little idiot' flushed at the context of those words-and tried not to make an outward sound of discomfort. "Master…can we please get back on topic."

"When Komui gets here we can. I'm just here to poke at your girlfriend and make sure you didn't break _her_ insides."

"…Hey…" The tension in Kanda's teeth increased as he clenched his jaws together in irritation. Cross was insufferable; but he was being especially insufferable at that particular time. "I don't want you poking at anything if you can't be civil with Moyashi."

"Oh? What's this?"

Allen's eyes moved to watch Kanda, somewhat surprised by the tone of voice. Kanda's words were bordering on dangerous. His brows furrowed to the center, creating deep crease lines that Allen just wanted to poke and make them go away—and calm Kanda in the process. Kanda's moods were never the best, but he'd been a lot testier since they'd woken up. Of course, he'd woken up to a morning of gasping for breath after retching until his body was exhausted…so that could explain it.

"I'm not going to sit here and deal with you treating us like _shit _about this, because you're averted to being _grandpa._ Moyashi may be scared of you, but I'm not. So if you wanna fight, bring it mother fucker."

A moment of silence passed and Allen nearly covered his face with his hands. Cross could easily fold Allen in half, let alone Kanda—being as sick as he was. He didn't think Cross would be so cruel as to mess with a pregnant person of any degree; but sometimes, he really couldn't fathom the cruelty of his Master.

"Well, I can respect that. It's nice to see one with a bigger pair than my underling. However, that doesn't change that your body is currently my property to monitor. So, if you two want to _play_ more, then I'm separating you," the redhead said with finality. No one was going to argue with it if they didn't wish to suffer for it.

"Don't worry. My sex drive is gone," Kanda replied bluntly—his expression showing no indication that it embarrassed him anymore all to say that.

"Kanda!"

"What? It's true."

"You really don't have to announce that, you know."

"It's not like you're the one who has to deal with it. You think I want to feel like a burnt out candle? No, I don't. And it's not like it _matters_. If they haven't figured out how you got twins in me, then they really don't deserve to even be in this room."

"Twins…~" Lavi said pleasantly with a big smile.

"Augh," Kanda made a face at him. "Why is he happy?"

"You seem to be a little more accepting of this Kanda. Did you have a talk with Allen about it?" Lenalee pushed Lavi out of the way and sat next to Kanda. She noted that he had a little more color to his skin than before and his face seemed a little fuller.

"Eh…we talked about it. Moyashi decided he's a freak and wants to attach himself to me out of the goodness of his twisted heart. Which, I suppose, is a good thing. Because they're _his _brats."

"You're…acting somewhat pleasant. It's kind of creepy, Kanda," Lenalee added, staring at him without even attempting to be subtle.

Allen made a noise, "no…he's not pleasant at all… He doesn't even know what he wants to be today."

"Shut up, Moyashi."

"_See_."

"Twins…~" Lavi said again, moving in behind the sofa to lean down and give the unsuspecting man a giant hug. "Two mini Yuus to love alllll over!"

Kanda made a strangled noise at the attack and turned his body to try and fight the annoyance off. "Damnit, Baka Usagi!" He growled, slipping into another tongue, pressing his hand against Lavi's shoulder. "I will shred you and spread you across the ocean if you don't get off me!" His breath felt like it was rushing out of him faster than it should and he had to ease up on his struggling in order to keep from getting dizzy. In truth, Lavi's hold on him was gentle and warm. His face pressed to the side of his and he could feel the tingling sensation of heat. The redhead seemed full of excitement and it confused Kanda, because twins weren't a _good_ thing. Twins meant more chance of something going wrong in there. Twins meant more possibility of it killing him. Twins meant two things to take care of if nothing crashed into a pile of fail somewhere.

"I'm happy for you, Yuu! Two babies mean one for each of you. And two babies to name~ You should totally let me help name one."

Kanda grunted, but subconsciously lessened his struggle and just sat there numbly. "Why would I let you name _my_ offspring?"

"I could help~ Just a little. Positive feelings, Yuu. That's important. Soak up positive happy things."

"Lenalee, what did you do to him on your mission. He's acting like he's just—you know what…I'm not even going to finish that statement," he stared at Lenalee, his eyes watching her reactions carefully, but not pressing on it anymore than necessary. All he knew for certain was that Lavi was being clingy and happy and _annoying. _

Yet, somewhere in all the man's annoyance, he realized at some point that his fighting had stopped completely and he was nearly lying against Lavi. The warm sensations against where Lavi's body was pressed to his made him not want to address it, but at the same time…he wanted to jack hammer the little bastard in the face for getting in his personal space.

But the sensation was relieving.

But it was Lavi.

But it was bountiful free energy to leech…

Yes, Lavi's.

But… Energy

No…

He's not using it anyway

…It's_ Lavi_…

"Kanda?"

"What!" He snapped and opened his eyes, glaring at the face looming in his vision. Soft eyes bore down into his own and he wondered why Lenalee looked so concerned. "Why are you in my face? "

"You fell asleep."

"I what?"

"You were sound asleep when I came in. It was certainly a strange sight," the light voice of the more pleasant of Kanda's two doctors stated with a hint of amusement. He wasn't even aware Komui had come in and he didn't even remember falling asleep. He'd blinked at one point and the next he had Lenalee in his face. It made him realize he was really tired.

"Hnn," a grumble left his throat and he leaned his head again. Everything seemed to move and it confused him. Turning his head, he found himself staring up at Lavi. Dark eyes widened and he felt a wave of discomfort sink through him. "What the—"

"You were asleep, but you looked awfully content, Yuu. So I moved to sit with you~."

"Hnng, where's Moyashi?" Kanda moved away from Lavi, rather groggily. He really had fallen asleep.

"He went to collect his necessities," Komui answered, moving over to him and kneeling in front of him. The scientist's hand pressed against his face and moved his head back so he could check Kanda's eyes for any signs of unusual dilation. It was simply a standard vital check.

"Collect his necessities? For what?"

"I'm sending him on a mission."

Kanda moved back suddenly, glaring down the Chinese man and watching him for signs of _I'm kidding! _But when there were no signs of it, he sat back into the seat again and made a face, "how long will he be gone?"

"Probably two to three weeks."

…Two or three days…yeah, he could do that. A week…he'd gone longer without the bastard…but a couple of weeks...A couple of weeks, leaving him as he was? It made him disgustingly uncomfortable. Beansprout was constantly feeding his body with the energy pulled in by the greedy bastard of an Innocence…so what was he going to— "I can't function without bleeding beansprout of his energy."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. That's why I consulted with General Cross and had you all brought here. You're the only one I cannot send on a mission. I'm sending Lenalee with Allen, and I'm leaving you with La—"

"**Hell no.**"

"Kanda…"

"Have you been paying attention to this fucker? He'll never leave me alone!"

"That's the point. He'll be staying with you for the majority of the time. If your body loses an outside energy source, it'll take from you and you could strain your body to the point of collapse. I would not like to test whether or not something like that can kill you. We're not dealing with anything normal here. I suppose since Lavi will be with you, I don't have to worry about unnecessary sexual activity?" Komui asked, raising an eyebrow—almost cruelly teasing.

Lavi choked next to Kanda and tried to breathe in through the airway he'd just swallowed wrong into. The redhead might have once glanced at Kanda with an appreciative eye, but Kanda was like romancing a volcano…and as much fun as Lavi liked to have…that didn't even sound like a fun challenge. His affections turned more toward the fairer sex anyway. Not like he was going to even bring that up in defense of himself. Allen would tear him apart if he found him doing anything to or with Kanda, anyway.

"I don't like this. Fucking…at all," the man grunted, turning to lean more into Lavi against his will. Being without the beansprout even made him uncomfortable in thought. At least with him there, he didn't feel vulnerable. He knew that Lavi could protect him too, but it was different with Allen. The Moyashi was his rock; and he'd disgustingly gotten too comfortable with depending on his presence—despite the repeated attempt to protest—since the beginning of this little nightmare.

"It'll be okay, Yuu. He'll be back before you even know it," Lavi tried to keep his ton light—suddenly feeling like he'd been thrown into a cage with an angry, pregnant, lion.

"Don't fuckin call me that," Kanda snapped, glancing up as Allen returned through the door with a bag slung over his shoulder and a faint melancholy smile. He must have heard enough of the conversation to see what Kanda's problem was immediately upon entering the room.

"It's not going to be so bad, Kanda…I'll call you everyday if I can, and you know that. You won't even notice I'm gone," Allen chuckled softly, moving in closely to ease the man as best he could before he had to leave.

_Yes._

_Yes. I will. _

_I will very much notice. _

_You idiot. _

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: This is not one of my favorite chapters, but necessary. I hope it doesn't sound as bad in reality as it does in my head xD_

_I wanna take a moment to thank everyone for the kind reviews I've been reading over the weeks posting this. I used to have the chance to thank everyone, but that's kinda stopped, and I figured that it would be better to just give the damn chapter instead of filling it with responses. Anyone who reads anything of mine knows that I like going out of the ordinary bounds, so everything in this story has a chance to surprise you~ Don't forget that. Most questions, also, will be answered in the process of the story. Some things just haven't been addressed for reasons. I promise to make it a heck of a ride, in any case~. If nothing to make Kanda's suffering fun for everyone! _


	12. Absence

**Incubation  
><strong>_Part Twelve_

He stirred in the mess of sheets. They were comfortable, but they suddenly lacked the warmth that had kept him soothed and asleep. Well, perhaps it wasn't "suddenly", but once he'd opened his eyes, it became a sudden realization of why he was now uncomfortable and tired. The body that had been in the bed next to him was gone. That warmth that came with it had vanished as well and it made him slightly annoyed. His body was recoiling with nausea, but he really didn't feel like dragging himself out of bed.

He could see the light pouring in through the window and it didn't take a genius to figure out that it was because the sun had long ago risen. It was a bit much to expect his bed mate to stay that long with him, but he could have at least said something…of course, he wouldn't want to wake him either. It was no secret that Kanda could be a massive bitch when it came to his new wake up schedule and seeing Lavi first thing upon waking never really set well with him.

It was easier now than it had been when they'd first begun this arrangement. Allen leaving had made him feel a loss he hadn't realized he would feel,. Especially when he wasn't glued to that particular body all day and night. Lavi was bountiful energy, yes; but he wasn't Allen energy. Regardless, Lavi _was_ sufficient, he supposed. After they'd gone through that first awkward night of sleeping in the same bed, it had turned into a bit of a ritual.

The first night, Kanda had truly acted like a nutcase. Lavi had slipped into the bed before he had and he just froze there, staring and wondering why it felt scandalous. Allen wasn't his husband—or wife—so there was no legitimate reason to feel like an adulterer, when coupled with the fact that Lavi and he had absolutely no chemistry to begin with. Even if they did, Kanda wouldn't touch Lavi like that with a ten foot pole—and not just because his last bout with Allen had seemingly flipped his libido switch into shut down position. Kanda was—admitting only to himself—a one person man. Whether it was fortunate or not would be determined over time, but he had already pretty much been stuck with Allen—as decided by a twist of fate.

So sleeping in the bed with Lavi was like sleeping in someone else's bed entirely. Having to actually press his own body against him was even weirder—and he was not opposed to expressing that by the fact that he'd climbed into bed…then climbed out after several minutes left him feeling strange. He climbed back in and tried to find another position to lay in that wouldn't make him feel like it should be Allen. He wasn't that obsessed with the fucking beansprout…but, that fucking beansprout was the only person allowed to come in that kind of contact with him. Everyone else was left at arms length or more. Suddenly, Lavi was no longer at an arm's length and it was disrupting his comfort.

It had finally taken him to the point of being so tired that he was sitting on the edge of the bed, asleep. Without really being conscious for it, Lavi had helped him back into the bed, where they lied back to back—and that was how that pattern had started. Three weeks had dragged on like that. The uncomfortable moments of getting to sleep, followed by the awkwardness of waking up together and not immediately feeling like that were having one of those, "oh god did we just...—" moments.

Three weeks and Allen was still not back. Three weeks was more than two…granted, Komui had said two to three, but three was already well in passing and he didn't like how Allen's mission didn't seem to be closing up any time soon. It wasn't that he missed Allen that much—of course it was—it was that he really just wanted Lavi out of his room and away from his body. Lavi's energy was high intensity and always so happy and positive that he felt like he was being energy-fed sugar. Allen was more mellow and pleasant. Allen was simply a better body to leech off. Somewhere in his mind, he suspected it was simply because Allen was—in all technicalities—his mate.

A groan slipped passed his lips and me turned more to his side—his arm dangling over the edge of the bed. He had begun to truly hate the sleeping process, or rather, the falling asleep and waking up parts of the process. Once upon a time, he'd have snapped awake and already been on his way to train. Now…he was having a difficult time rolling over without feeling like he wanted to spew his guts out. He just had to wait it out. Waiting wouldn't be hard…it was only…about six more months.

_Six more months_, he mulled, feeling an unpleasant tightening in his chest. Six more months just meant he had to deal with tiny people taking up his body…after six more months meant he'd have those tiny people taking over his life in a completely different way and he'd not yet given himself time to tackle that thought fully. One step at a time and even that was too much. A wry part of him concluded that his sudden bout of negativity had something to do with Allen's absence; but the other part concluded that the first part was an idiot.

"Yuu…~. Are you awake yet?" That voice violated his senses and he made another low noise.

"No."

"Sleeping people don't answer questions about whether they're actually sleeping. Now come on, time to get up."

"No."

"Now, now, Kanda. You really do need to get up. I'd like to check you this afternoon," another voice mingled into the room and Kanda raised his head to find Komui extremely close—closer than he expected—and he reeled back.

"Damn it, Komui," he grunted and tried not to show how sick that action made him.

"Relax, Kanda. I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright with you."

"No."

"No? No to what? Checking you? Because I'm not going to step back for this. Unless you're in pain, are you?"

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and pulled himself into a sitting position. He really didn't want to be sitting…or awake. Or anything. He wanted to be unconscious, sleeping next to someone that wasn't Lavi—no, he actually wanted to be sleeping next to Allen. That's what it was. Allen didn't sleep like a monkey. Allen didn't have sporadic energy waves. Allen didn't leave the bed without telling him in some fashion.

"The only pain I have, is the idiot next to you," he snarled and sat straighter to let Komui do his feeling around. It was a humiliating gesture, but after too many times of fighting it, he'd just given in to it being inevitable. He didn't like it. Not one bit…But also knew that Allen would be furious if this killed him because he didn't let Komui feel up on him for a few minutes. And Kanda didn't put it passed Allen to have him turned into an Akuma _just so_ he could kill him again.

"Ouch Yuu. I'm hurt. I've been sleeping with you for three weeks and this is all the love I get from you~?"

"Don't say it like that!"

"Why?~ It was just sleep~. I won't tell anyone how you make cute noises when you sleep. Or cling~"

"I do none of those things," Kanda stared at him, with evil in his eyes. He knew for a fact that he did none of those things, but the idiot was trying real hard to tease him for anything he could.

"Okay okay~ Maybe not, but you look so innocent and calm when you sleep.~"

"I will strangle you to death." Deadly eyes fixated on the redhead, but he didn't move. His body simply said no. Moving that fast would also upset his already barely controlled stomach.

"Strangulation isn't recommended for the man who will be escorting you into town," Komui stopped the progression of the argument before it could continue at all. He didn't really want to get wrapped up in a needless bickering fest between the two and Kanda didn't need to stress himself harder than was necessary.

"What do you mean, escorting me into town? I'm going no where!" The reply came sharp as a sword and from the mouth of a man angry enough to cut with words. There was no way in hell he was leaving his area to go into a place with lots of people, while he was like _that._ No way in hell. His body didn't want it and his mind was screaming fiercely against it. Too vulnerable. Too tired. He wasn't _willing_ to leave, either.

"Yes. You're going into town and for a very good reason. You can't keep wearing Lavi's pants. You'll get bigger and we need to find you clothes to accommodate that."

"You're wearing my pants?" Lavi stared at the dark haired man, but his question was deftly ignored.

"You want me to go _shopping…_in public…with _him_!? Why can't you just have clothes fitted to me? I wouldn't have to leave and I'd have clothes just fine!"

"Because, that would leave a paper trail behind. I'm sure someone would question why I put in an order for increasing clothing sizes. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable," Komui added, digging into his pocket with one hand, rooting around for an item to give to the fuming man. "Here," he spoke finally, brandishing a small wallet, "use this to buy what you need."

Kanda blinked at him, then at what was being handed to him. He was instantly confused by the presence of Komui's own wallet. "What is this?"

"That's funds for you to use for this. I know this is difficult and I'd like to help make it easier on you. Lavi has a list that I gave him earlier on things you will need. You really need the fresh air and I'll have a wheelchair sent with you—"

"Hold the motherfucking phone. Wheelchair? No. I can walk. My legs aren't fuckin broken."

"No, they're not broken," Komui affirmed, but it was clear that he was not going to back down from this, "however, your body is still suffering. I would rather you take it easy. We're not dealing with one now, we're dealing with two…so I really don't know how much your body can take before it starts to actually harm you."

Slumping his head down, Kanda made an unappreciative noise. He just wanted to go back to sleep and pretend it wasn't happening. He wanted to stop feeling like his head was cracking down the center and everything was aiming to induce vomiting. Even meditation hadn't soothed him—as much as he tried. He found himself missing the daily activities that he used to do without even thinking. Training had once just been a daily requirement…now, he just missed doing it. Missions would almost be welcome. That was better than _this._

Without giving any other responses, he leaned back into the mattress—flopping unceremoniously. He closed his eyes and tried to remember before, when none of this was taking over his life. As the days slipped by, he found it harder and harder to do that. Maybe he was too focused on what was taking place currently, or maybe he just didn't realize how mundane his existence always seemed. Though, he wasn't considering this an _exciting_ new development. It was more of a cancer.

_Moyashi… _

The word slipped over his mind without warning.

Three weeks and no Moyashi. A week and no phone call at all. He wasn't dwelling on it. They'd gone longer without communication. Most of the time, they didn't even bother to call each other. They were exorcists. There was always a risk. Every time either one of them left to do their jobs, they knew there was that possibility of coming back not breathing—even him. So it wasn't like he didn't understand that Allen could simply be caught up in his task.

But still, there _was_ something different. Something uncomfortably changed somewhere to the point it had become comfortable. They'd never slept together in the same bed before, just to sleep. Sure, they did after the activities that usually brought them in the same bed; but the risks of getting caught before stopped them from making their separate rooms into a shared one. Now they shared a room.

And it was only when Lavi was taking place of that beansprout, did he notice how much it felt wrong any other way.

It wasn't until that moment right then—his mind wandering—did he realize that he had been sleeping on Allen's side of the bed ever since he'd left.

_Fuck. I __**kinda**__ miss him. _

"Kanda?"

"Shut up and get out. Both of you. I need to get dressed," he mulled quietly, still lying against the mattress. He really didn't need them looking in on his momentary identity crisis with how he should react and how he was reacting.

"I'll be waiting for you in the lounge, Yuu."

"Whatever."

He waited until he heard both of them leave, before he turned his face into the mattress and tried to focus his silly thoughts out. He wasn't dependent or weak. He didn't _need_ anyone's assistance. As he sat up with a pained grunt, he was determined to prove that.

**To Be Continued…**

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><p><em>AN: Holy sheet, the amount of reviews on the last chapter. Almost 29 and that makes my brain happy to know that people aren't like, grabbing pitch forks and coming at me for this story. HAH. _

_Anyway, a small note to make is that this is NOT an AreKan. This is NOT a Yullen either. This is AllenxKandaxAllen. Because they share in bedroom playtime, Kanda was just the unfortunate one to have a special body. [I don't use the terms seme and uke either, sorry.] _

_I'm glad I could make some of you power past the fear of the mighty MPREG term. It's actually funny, because I'm one of you people who look at it and go "NO GO AWAY, LIGHT IT ON FIRE." But what can I say, I like to challenge myself to make things possible. Anyway, thank you all for the read and I shall have the next chapter in editing phase. _


	13. Attitude

**Incubation  
><strong>_Part Thirteen_

"I am not wearing women's clothing."

"Yuu, it's not women's clothing, exactly…it's more like…gender ambiguous—"

"Don't you dare feed me that sack of horse shit. This is women's clothing. Maternity clothing. I'm not stupid," the grouchy man snarled—his dark eyes nearly burning holes into Lavi's head.

"There's not a whole lot we can get away with. We can't just walk into a store and tell them that we need clothing for a pregnant guy, you know," Lavi whispered close to said man's ear. This sparked a small snarl from Kanda. "I'm trying to get as close to indistinct as possible. You're stick thin, so finding fitting clothes isn't hard."

Kanda folded his arms and settled more into the wheel chair he'd submitted to once they'd gotten into town. He really hated being carted around. It made him feel like he was being forced into a state of helplessness…but at the same time; his body just wasn't having long periods of physical movement. It didn't help that any type of pants were just uncomfortable at the sizes he had available to him. Due to this very reason, he submitted to the damned chair; because walking in a casual kimono—which was currently all he had—would look very strange in the very European town. If he was seated, at least less attention would be drawn to him. He was already painfully Asian looking compared to the locals.

"I'm not stick thin and it's going to be hard to walk up to anyone and get them to sell me clothes without issue."

"I'll just say it's for your girlfriend or something, and that you're injured and I'm helping."

Kanda blinked and looked over his shoulder at the green eyed little bastard, "that is seriously the story you're coming up with? No one is going to believe that I'm shopping for a woman as I am—in a wheelchair. Especially given that women thrive on this shit."

"Try to be more positive, Yuu." Lavi's laugh fell hollow, even on his own ears. It wasn't like working with Kanda's attitude was any easy task, but this was especially trying. Well, not as much trying as exhausting. He couldn't deny that Kanda had every right to feel like the world was out to get him. It wasn't exactly common for men to end up in his position and it did prove he was an extremely special case.

"Try to fuck off and die, _baka usagi._"

Another breath left the redhead and he tried to be as non-confrontational as possible. It was somewhat hard to avoid the man's sour mood…because he was the one pushing the wheelchair. "Let's just look for some things, okay? We just need to get you some stuff for at least a little while."

"It's not like it's a complicated thing. Just pick out some damn clothes and we can leave with it!" The dark haired man grumbled as they moved through the small store, just out of earshot of the shop owner. His whole life had been dictated by others providing what he needed as he needed. This _shopping_ business wasn't one of his skills.

"I bet you don't even know what sizes you'd have to get," the snort from the bookman jr. annoyed Kanda, but he made no effort to express his annoyance. "Besides, you need to be comfortable. You're already going to be miserable—this with attitude anyway—why not at least wear what's comfortable?"

"The hell does it matter? I can't sleep right with _you_ in my bed and every time I stand I want to vomit anyway. Comfort isn't a concern."

"Come on, Yuu. Can you at least try to cooperate?"

"Is there something I can help you with today?" A voice spoke softly, cutting Kanda from any further speech. The unhappy man simply closed his mouth and refused to even speak to the woman who had come from the other end of the shop.

"Yes, actually. I'm looking for maternity clothing of a slightly…um…different kind. I know this sounds kinda weird. But she likes wearing pants and I know that's not the most common thing in the world but she's just more comfortable around home with them and—"

"Haha, no need to get nervous, sir. It's actually a lot more common than you think. Sometimes ladies feel less exposed that way. So don't worry honey, we've got just what you need," she clapped her hands together and smiled at Kanda.

Kanda blanched at the look she was giving him. It was very clear this girl worked in this sort of shop for the very reasons he wanted to kill himself for being in said shop. She liked being around pregnant people. She liked working with mothers-to-be. She was more than thrilled to be assisting anyone who fit the description. Unfortunately, Kanda's appearance was less than masculine at that moment.

"So, is this your wife?" She went on to ask Lavi and the redhead nearly choked on his own tongue, praying that Kanda was shocked into submission.

Without any other immediate thought to come to his brain he answered the only thing he could think to make this seem less scandalous for both of them, "uh…ah, y…yeah."

Turning his head back, Kanda shot him a deadly look. Every part of him screamed to throw his elbow into Lavi's gut. He should have known it would end up like _that_. It was a bad idea all together…and while it may be easier for them in the long run. It didn't stop the itching feeling of '_no, it's wrong_' from snaking its way through his brain. It went back to that skin crawling feeling he had every time he woke up and saw the idiot in his bed next to him. The idiot in his bed, should be Allen—just like, the idiot with him on this ridiculous trip should be him too.

Allen should have to suffer through this same shit.

He should have to be the one awkwardly talking to the shopkeeper.

_Goddamnit, he should have to be subjected to this embarrassment. _

"What colors would you like?"

Suddenly it became apparent he was being asked things and he stared up at her—refusing to open his mouth on the risk that his voice would instantly give him away. It was an unfortunately side effect of Lavi stupidly letting her look him over and realize he was the pregnant one. He didn't understand how she could even make the mistake, but the look in Lavi's eyes seemed to suggest he understood why she could see a mother-to-be radiating off him. It possibly had something to do with the fact that he was in a wheelchair, with his robes very loose and draping and hiding what little was beginning to show.

"Ah…she's mute, you'll have to forgive her," the redhead cut in very quickly and desperately tried to keep Kanda's rage level down. "I imagine blues and maybe purples…cool colors?"

"We have a good selection of those things. Let me gather some things up for you and I'll show you what we have."

"That would be awesome, thanks. We're kinda new to this thing."

"How far along is she?"

Lavi, sadly, knew exactly how far along Kanda was. It wasn't so much that he'd been paying attention, but he remembered the date of that mission's return. Going from that, "about thirteen, almost fourteen weeks now."

"And she's showing enough for clothing adjustments?" The browned haired girl's eyes drifted uncomfortably over Kanda—who was looking away as disinterestedly as possible. His kimono was drowning his shape out, so she wouldn't be able to see the slight protrusion…and extreme lack of breasts.

"It's twins."

"Oh my! Twins! How lucky for you! I bet you're looking forward to seeing two little precious ones."

"Y…yeah."

Keeping his attention settled on his hands—in his lap—Kanda listened to the chatter from the store girl and he casually watched her form the corner of his eye. If she could make this trip over quickly, he could find it in him to appreciate her; but the way she was so excited made it apparent she was more thrilled with the idea of fawning over the "happy couple" for a while. He just wanted to go home. The fact that he no longer comfortably fit his clothes pissed him off, yes; but the fact that he couldn't sleep pissed him off more…

Then there was the single fact that the little motherfucker who put these things in him hadn't even contacted headquarters in a week.

It wasn't unusual. No.

But it _had_ been a week.

Considering he had been calling them every day or two…it was just…odd that he hadn't called at all. Especially with how the little brat had been all over him with questions of his wellbeing. He was almost oppressing in his questioning. So what would make him not contact them at all? The inkling thought began in the back of his mind at the possibility that Allen's absence could have been caused by something less than savory. Like an injury.

Or worse.

No. Shaking his head, he forced himself to shove that stupid thought aside. He would pull beansprout back from _hell,_ if he tried to get out of this. Kanda would not be left alone for the rest of this. No way. Now how. Especially not with Lavi…his now self appointed temporary husband.

That very thought nearly made him punch the nearest…anything that could be punched.

"Yuu, check this one out. It's light blue and it's Asian styled, but it's got a very loose tie in the front. We can adjust it."

He wanted to vomit again.

Not that the piece of cloth had any bearing on his stomach, but the fact that he was being asks about colors for _maternity_ clothing. His tongue clicked against his teeth, once he remembered that he was supposed to be a _mute_. Bastard had crippled his ability to loudly protest this horrible freak show. Instead, he chose to shake his head at the offending garment. He hated the color, if he was being asked for his honest opinion. The darker the color, the less would show. That was what he wanted. He wanted black, dark blues and grays.

He simply chose to shake his head and look at the offending thing. He had no idea how the hell he was supposed to convey that he wanted to, so he grabbed Lavi's arm. As much as it made him unhappy to play along, it would be less appealing to get caught as the truth were. So he took the idiot's hand and turned it up and began to write letters into his palm. If he was too stupid to understand what he was doing, he would simply boot him in the ass and just leave. Kanda wasn't known for patience and at that moment, he was down to zero.

The letters were drawn one after the other until he spelt out "darker colors". The look of recognition seemed to suggest that Lavi was getting the point.

"Darker colors, do you have anything a bit darker?"

"Give me a second and I'll go see~!"

They watched her leave and Lavi looked down with his one eye sparkling a little too happily for the other man's pleasure. "What are you so fuckin happy for?"

"No reason. It's just kinda fun."

"Fun? Is your idea of fun, fucked in the head too?"

"Well, I mean. If you'd loosen up a bit, it will be really easy for you. I just need you to say yay or nay. And it'll be over before you know it. We can build you a nice wardrobe and try to find things to hide your issue, no? Come on, be a little less rage-face on me, Yuu."

"To hell with you." A growl left the sulking man and his eyes flicked from Lavi back down into his lap. This was not for _fun_. This was punishment. This was punishment by god for his choices in life. The thought hit him at that moment that, well, homosexuality was considered a sin. Not that he cared, he wasn't going to back off just because they told him no. Maybe that's how he ended up like this, he thought bitterly. It certainly wasn't a pleasant bundle of joy. It was torture.

It was worse with an idiot who had no idea how _not_ pleasant it was. The more he sat there, the more uncomfortable he felt. It was like he was vulnerable beyond anything he'd ever been. When standing became a challenge on the contents of his stomach, he knew he was fucked.

There was an itching feeling all over him that wanted to get up and go about life like normal. But that was shot now.

Everything was shot.

Yet, he still couldn't bring himself to actually regret any of the action that made the little body dwellers happen. At least Allen wasn't a creeping bastard like Cross, who would have probably bolted in seconds.

But Allen hadn't even called in a week.

**A week.**

With a soft sigh, it occurred to him that his bad mood stemmed from the lack of Moyashi…

_Is he really all I can think about? _

_If I knew where he was, it would be a lot fucking easier to not have to think about his stupid shrimp ass. …Oh god._

_What if he had left on purpose? _

**To Be Continued…**

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><p><em>AN: I'm still shocked at the response on this one here. I'm glad you guys are finding it still enjoyable. I hope to keep doing such. You guys are wonderful reviewers and keep me trekking along. If for some reason I lose consistency in this, please let me know! _


	14. Revelation

**Incubation  
><strong>_Part Fourteen_

"Yuu…come on, it's time to get up for a little while. You need to eat."

"No. Go away." The words came with a sharpness that he hadn't had before. This time, he wasn't just protesting because he was in a mood. To Lavi, this was his final answer and he couldn't be persuaded any other way. It was a peculiar shift in mood, but it seemed to have begun building since they'd returned from their shopping trip.

But even if it appeared just after, it didn't seem to be marked by that event itself. Kanda eventually caved to work with him to make the trip easier and Lavi was quite proud of the selection they brought back. He was set for a good while with these and most of them were designed in a way that would hide him for a while with the way it belted and pooled the material in the front. They found dark blues and blacks and they were even able to find him flat shoes that he would be comfortable in—just a little roomy so he would be able to wear them even if his feet grew into them.

All things considered, their trip was extremely successful. So what on earth made him decline in attitude to the point where he almost seemed to be sinking into a depression like state? Because that's exactly what it was looking like and try as he might, couldn't get any real reaction from the man. Kanda barely even made the attempt to move from his bed unless he really _had_ to.

"You're going to get bed sores if you don't get up. Come on…you'll feel better if you walk around a bit."

"I said no. I don't feel like doing anything. Now go away."

Lavi stood over the bed and watched him go back to sleep. It was the same thing that had happened the last time he'd tried. He shouldn't have expected any different, but he was hoping it was just a temporary hormonal imbalance that would snap out soon. This clearly was not the case. There was a distinct lack of motivation in every part of Kanda. "Okay. I'll come back later."

"Whatever."

He shook his head and turned to leave out the same door he entered in. There was no point in pressing the issue on a man who was simply not having it. However, he could go to someone he might be able to discuss this issue with. If it kept up, this could affect him to the point of actually hurting his health. Allen would be furious about that too…if he ever finally decided to come back from his mission. Instead of letting that potential train wreck happen, he'd just go straight to someone who had more answers than just and angry "no."

His mind wandered, counting the days back. Kanda was almost four months along. A little more than a third of the way through and still doing considerably well…all things considered. Well, he had been doing well until this depression spell. It made him wonder if this was just a side effect or something that was going to happen regardless of any attempt to fix him. Komui would know. If not Komui, then he would suck it up and talk to Cross.

Being around Kanda constantly was starting to bring him down a little. Not because of the man himself, but because of the constant reminder that the other two hadn't returned yet. Lenalee was with Allen. He didn't even want to consider the possibility that something had happened…If something had happened, he really didn't want to think about the reaction Kanda would have. The man was already having issues in there somewhere already.

A large yawn hit him suddenly when he came up on Marie about halfway down the hall.

"You sound tired," the large man commented with a gentle friendliness that Kanda could stand to learn about.

"Just…worried. Hey, Marie, do you have anything pressing you're doin' right now?"

"Hm? Did you need something?"

"N…not really. I'm just a little concerned about Yuu. You know him better than I do…So I thought I'd ask your opinion before I run off to tell Komui he's broken."

"What is the problem?" A flick of concern was evident in the gentle giant's voice. It was no secret that Marie and Kanda had a strong sense of "brothers" about them. Marie seemed to know more about Kanda than anyone else—even Lavi, in all his ability to gather information and make note of small details. If anyone would really be able to get into the stubborn man's head, he was certain that Marie would be best suited to try.

"I can't even get him out of bed. No matter how much I nag him. Ever since we came back from town, he's just been a total downer and I'm not sure if it's something I did or if it's something we can fix," he sighed, running a hand through his red hair. It was worrisome, because Kanda really shouldn't go that long without having a source to leech energy on; but he was doing a marvelous job at pushing him away.

"That sounds a lot like depression. Isn't that normal for hormonal imbalance?"

"I've heard it happens to women during pregnancy. I'm going to ask Komui…but I don't know what could have caused it. I don't know if he's just being bitchy again or if he's actually depressed. He's perfectly capable of getting mad still, I found that out yesterday."

"And you said nothing happened?"

"Nothing at all. I've been trying to figure it out. But I can't just outright ask him what happened. He'd fight back even harder than already."

"Perhaps when Allen returns, he will be able to ask him."

"When Alle—wait…Allen…Maybe…" The redhead blinked, suddenly considering something he hadn't before. "Thanks Marie!" He blurted before he took off to find Komui—leaving Marie to wonder exactly what he had actually done, simply submitting to accepting it and going on his way.

Lavi's long legs carried across the worn marble with a swiftness he hadn't practiced in several weeks. Being Kanda's glorified pillow wasn't a very physically arduous task and running actually felt good—or would have if it wasn't for a very urgent reason. The particular thought hadn't even occurred to him until his mind had settled over Allen and the fact that the boy was still missing. He _had_ been gone for a month. Much of the last month had been without contact and as concerned as he himself was about the boy's disappearance, he hadn't even considered just how much that could have affected Kanda. There was always a small part of him that didn't really fathom the depth of the relationship they apparently had.

If Allen's disappearance was the cause of his slump, then Komui would be able to help this. If something had happened to Allen, they could have to find a way to settle Kanda's attitude before it landed him an unneeded death. Though, he had to admit, the possibility of Allen being _gone_ made his own chest hurt. He wasn't even supposed to feel those things and he briskly swept the feeling under in place of the logical facts that he wanted to try to gather to keep Kanda from losing his mind. Even so, Allen was his friend and Lenalee was with him. These were people he couldn't even deny had tainted his Bookman status.

To see any of them in any peril or upset just didn't seem right. Fixing Kanda became his personal mission and it was probably well due time to ask Komui about Allen.

His pace eventually did drop to a casual gait and he waded around the usual locations where Komui could be found. His office appeared to have been left abandoned for the moment and truthfully, he had no idea where Komui's personal room could be. That just wasn't one of those things that he every really questioned enough to go looking—but now he wished he had.

Looking around the room, he scratched his head. He wondered if he should wait for the man's return, but his anxiousness to see Kanda not like this was getting too high to keep himself still. He almost missed the times when Kanda would hit him for any and every reason. Even if the man didn't mean it—and he could tell he didn't mean him real harm—at least he could _feel_ the animosity. Now, Kanda was essentially dead weight and it was near bringing him to tears in frustration. Well, perhaps not literally tears…but he was getting so itchy just to see the man looking alive again.

Not that Kanda was ever a perfect example of lively, but at least he was moving in a fashion that seemed less than broken. Broken and Kanda seemed to not mesh very well in his mind. He saw the man as a strong wall of confidence. But perhaps this was why he had ended up with Allen. When all was said and done, Kanda probably had a lot more insecurities than he'd ever let anyone other than Allen see.

"Well shit," he muttered to himself and glanced about the enclosed space—folding his arms and standing among piles of paper. Many of which probably couldn't even be identified. He shuffled through the mess and flopped down on Komui's large chair. He decided that waiting would be the optimal choice and with that, he snagged a book blindly off the shelf behind him.

None of the books in Komui's office were what they appeared to really be. Many of them were age old records that had been written in a code in the disguise of fiction, biographies and even cook books. If he really spent his time looking through it, he was certain that he would find something that the Black Order could really raise hell with him over. But he really didn't care. Not about the Black Order. He only joined it as a spectator—the religion aspect had always seemed ridiculous to him and there was no doubt that there was something ugly hidden in it all.

At that moment, he was much more interested in the travel log he appeared to have picked up. It chronicled a trip across the ocean from Europe to the Americas. Much of it was sailor lingo—some of which he understood—but it slowly became monotonous and he sighed, throwing the book on the desk. He couldn't focus on a book when his mind was otherwise occupied by the man who had been left in his charge all of a sudden.

Motion at his left caught his attention and he reached out just as the paper floated down from the sudden rush the book had sent over it—making it fly off the table. Glancing across the sheet, he nearly shot up. His controlled muscles kept him down, so that he didn't end up flipping the damned chair and himself with it. The photo attached to what was clearly a report made him want to sock Komui across the room.

Allen's photo clung to the paper behind it and the words across the top of the paper read—**critical but alive.** Lifting the photo, he glanced over the information in his hands. Allen's injuries were listed boldly down the right and a brief nurse's report was made on the left, updated with corresponding dates attached. The last one being…just the day before. That meant…

"Motherfuckers," he grunted and slammed the paper down on the desk. Suddenly, he knew where Komui was. Cross too, probably. Not that he wanted to talk to Cross at all, but if he needed to… His long legs carried him from Komui's desk to the door, where he mentally mapped the quickest route to the infirmary. They were holding out on them and if he hadn't decided to come looking for Komui without prompting—since he wasn't actually supposed to be leaving Kanda alone—then they may have kept pretending they knew nothing about Allen's state.

But why do that? From what he gathered on the paper, Allen was in very poor condition. He'd broken a few bones and taken a deep gash into the front of his body that left him barely alive. But he was alive. Why keep that a secret?

That seemed to be the least effective idea on the planet and he rounded the corner in a hurry to rectify the situation and see what the hell was going on. Kanda was lying in his room, silent and miserable—possibly wondering if Allen was ever going to come back. And yet, they were in the same damn building together!

He closed in on the infirmary, finding himself slowing to a bit of a crawl to avoid making any one suspicious as he slipped in. If he was looking for Allen in that sort of condition, he could only assume that he would be in the critical unit and he made his way back there, ignoring nurses who even seemed to make an attempt to try and question his presence. He was having none of that. There was nothing that irritated him more than not knowing something.

Unsurprisingly, he turned into the area where the critical patients were monitored and he met eyes with Komui, who had looked up at about the time he'd come to view. It was probably very obvious he was on his way in from the chiding of the nurse behind him and the way he had no qualms with stomping in with a frown on his face.

"Komui," he stated shortly.

"Lavi…What are you—"

"Knock it off. You know exactly why I'm here. I'm here because I saw the photo and report on your desk, while waiting for you to come back." His fists curled at his side and he couldn't help but silently wonder where Lenalee was if Allen was here. Komui would be a nightmare if Lenalee was injured so where was she that she wouldn't have been able to tell them about Allen's condition?

Lavi's single eye fell over the body in the room, finally. From his position, at the farther end of the room, he could tell that Allen was still very roughed up; but he seemed to be in one piece and bandaged up well. His sharp gaze took in the constant, even, breathing and Allen's heart rate on the monitor was consistent. Allen was actually currently maintaining a stable condition. So why?

"Why?" He simply asked. There weren't the right words to express the range of questions that one word tried to shove into it.

"Sit down Lavi, please and try to keep your voice down enough so that you don't wake Allen. He's in pain at the moment and we got his delirium down enough for him to sleep." The scientist motioned at a chair not far from him, where Lavi then noticed Cross.

"What's going on, Komui?" The redhead's voice was very serious as he finally submitted to taking a seat. All his mind could think about while he sat at the side of Allen's bed was that Kanda was in his own bed, alone, wondering where Allen was and if he was okay.

It was all so wrong.

**To Be Continued… **

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><p><em>AN: Alright, so I updated a little sooner because wow 30 reviews on one chapter is kind of wow. Anyway. I'm stuck at a point where I feel like "It's moving too fast" then I turn around and I feel like "It's dragging on too long" and now I'm confused. Haha. So Uh, like...deal with my shitty confused writing xD. _


	15. Consolation

**Incubation  
><strong>_Chapter 15_

Lavi turned the handle to Kanda's room and he let himself in. At that particular moment, he didn't care if Kanda turned over and threw an entire bedside table at him. The angry man, brooding and probably depressed beyond reason, wasn't going to ease him out of this revelation he'd just stumbled on. Lavi shut the door behind him as quietly as he had opened it and submitted to attempting to consol him as best he could.

Without waiting for the protest that he knew was coming, he walked around to the far side of the bed and wordlessly threw the blanket back—the one that Kanda had taken to hiding himself under at random intervals of the day, depending on his reaction to temperature. The low grumbling began and he brushed it aside before it could turn into a full blown snarl. It was probably the way he crawled into the bed behind him that made Kanda go from fight mode to deadly silent and quite still. It was probably some degree of shock.

He couldn't get the words from his head to Kanda the way he needed to just yet, so he decided to at least force a warm setting that he could collect his thoughts and tell Kanda without telling Kanda. It was no secret between the two of them that the irritable man was like putty when a warm, energy giving, body was pressed to him. This made it significantly easier to bring him to a mellowed state that he could talk without having his jugular bitten out like he was a ferocious animal's prey.

It was just a process of figuring out what the hell to say. Komui's explanation had been nothing but horseshit to him. The logic behind it was nothing, if not flawed—but they had been considering an angle that really wasn't Kanda's method. He supposed he knew Kanda better than they did in that respect. But even so…It just seemed extremely cruel.

_"Allen was brought back to us about a week an a half ago by a Finder as I had no choice but to send Lenalee to the next location." _Komui's voice was still ringing in his mind as if he was still there to listen to them spilling the beans on something that should never have been kept a secret to begin with. "_He was horribly mangled and at the time, we weren't sure if he was going to pull through. That was why we decided to keep it under the table, until we could determine if he'd be stable or not. If we told Kanda, and then Allen didn't make it…well, we really didn't want to risk Kanda as well. A sudden reaction like that could have a really bad fallout at this stage." _

Lavi wasn't even entirely sure of what he'd said in response at that moment, which was unusual of him not to have the presence of mind to keep the entire conversation in his memory verbatim, but he was a little more than peeved and he was fairly certain his response had been something like: "_So you think worrying him for weeks on end with nothing was going to make him feel like sunshine_?"

He wanted to yell at both of them, because it didn't take a genius to figure that Cross was in on it as well. Cross was involved with everything and that actually made him feel a little worse about it, because no one really had the gall to stand up to Cross—but apparently Kanda and Kanda was in the process of falling into a hard depression from what Lavi could gather.

Cross and Komui both were supposed to be working for the favor of their charge. Kanda's life, potentially, was in both of their hands and that just made it feel even worse that they didn't even notice it. Lavi noticed—but Lavi was also around Kanda near constantly. He knew the man's mood was downwardly shifting, but when he stopped even fighting back like he usually did…It was obvious that something needed to be done.

"Allen's fine," he muttered in Kanda's ear suddenly and soothingly. He didn't really want to make Kanda jump up in response, which had been the reason he'd casually slipped into a position that allowed him to curl his arms around the smaller man's body. Of course, as he predicted, he could feel the man's muscles bunch under his skin. But even as a hint of a struggle started, it fell helplessly to Kanda's constant state of weariness—even more so since he'd been too distant to maintain the level of activity that he'd been doing before Allen seemingly vanished.

"What do you mean, he's fine?" Kanda voice returned to him in a strangely calm, almost disbelieving tone that made Lavi's chest tighten. Perhaps he didn't mean it in such a way, but the tone of that man's voice just…reeked of concern that he may not have even realized he was feeling. There was also a slight hint of distaste, as if he felt he was being toyed with.

"I mean that, I know for a fact that Allen is okay."

Silence fell between them again until Lavi felt Kanda's back expand from the breath he took. Upon exhale, the redhead could swear that it sounded like relief. In fact, he knew it had to be. Despite the way Kanda acted and the dispassion he showed, he knew there had to be something solid there that held Allen and Kanda together. They didn't just accidentally fall into a sexual position one day and roll with it—and kids were pretty much all made the same way when it came down to it. Even if they had accidentally fallen into a vulgar activity, there was no way that it was an accident enough times for them to end up like this. That would be entirely too crazy of a fluke conception.

So naturally, Lavi was led to believe that Allen and Kanda harbored some sort of emotional attachment to each other. He certainly didn't ask and he wasn't going to suggest it out loud; but he saw it either way. If there was any doubt before, he'd lost that when he'd seen just how distressed Kanda had started to become. And even though it wasn't the obvious kind of distress some others might have, for Kanda, it was huge and enough really settle in that little idea that—yes—Kanda probably loved Allen more than either of them realized.

That was all just Lavi Vision, though. He wasn't meddling and he wasn't always right either, but damned if it didn't really seem that way. Just the way the tension in the body he held to seemed to fade a bit, was enough for him to make true of it.

"How?"

"How? Do you mean how I know? Or how is he okay?"

Kanda's voice was quiet, but in the silence of the room it came off with such a strong presence that he was sure that man flinched at the way his voice sounded. "How did you find out?"

"I saw him. In the infirmary. He's really roughed up right now, but he'd alive. They told me not to really tell you, but I couldn't just shut my mouth on it. Just try to relax a bit. I know it's been…under your skin for a while."

"You don't know anything."

"I know enough. I know you're trying to be tough, but damn it, you're going to make yourself sick and Allen would kill me dead if you got so sick it resulted in you getting hurt in any fashion and I really don't want to face Allen's potential wrath. I've seen him when it gets in his weird mode. He's kinda unpredictable, y'know. So at least just be a little bit assured that he's not dead in a ditch somewhere…and please, please don't tell them that I told you. I kind of promise Komui that I would keep his status under the table until Allen at least regained consciousness."

"You're asking me to believe this…but you're telling me I can't actually acknowledge it or actually see him to verify that he's actually there?" Something about that all sounded so back handed, and if he wasn't already miserable from the weeks of frantically concerning himself with having to fly it solo—he'd be pretty mad at that point. Exhaustion kept him from erupting into licking flames of fury.

"Yuu…I promise you. He's in the infirmary. I wouldn't lie to you. Because honestly, I was a little pissed off when I found out too. And I wouldn't have even known, if I hadn't been in Komui's office and seen Allen's file on the desk. I only went there to see him because I was concerned about you."

The vibrations of a growl passed along to Lavi as he felt Kanda stirring in his grasp. "Who the fuck gave you the right to be concerned, _bookman_?"

"Whoa, whoa, that's really unnecessary, Yuu. I'm concerned because I want to be. No, maybe I'm not supposed to be, but we all do things we're not supposed to do and this isn't just your life anymore. I've been watching your mood sink lower and lower and if Allen were to see you like this, he'd kill me and have a brain aneurysm worrying about you. I don't really wanna see either of them happen, so please just…work with me here?" He still refused to let go. Kanda was at an unpredictable stage and he wanted to keep him set in place until he knew what the man was thinking. He knew that there was probably an urge to ignore his request and go running into the infirmary with guns drawn and demand to see Allen—but at that particular point, it would help no one.

"You don't…You don't even, you can't even begin to fucking understand, Bookman." The coldness that seeped from Kanda to Lavi wasn't that surprising really. Lavi never got the warmer side of him, but it was still unsettling that he was in such a harsh spiral down at this stage. Of course, he could understand; because he was pretty angry that they kept something like that back from him. This man was here, housing the child of the exorcist in question and they hadn't even had the decency to at least keep him updated on his status?

It was wrong and that was why he was telling Kanda at all. That was why he was risking Cross's foot up his ass for it. "I'm not trying to piss you off, Yuu. I'm trying to keep everyone happy for the moment, but it's hard when the situation kinda sucks. Telling you risked you freaking out on me and getting us all in trouble. Not telling you risked you going into a depression that could harm you and your little package there. What was I supposed to do? I'm the neutral one. I'm in between scientists who don't know that you're psychologically fucking yourself up and you, given you don't know how to tell them that to begin with."

"What can you expect of me? None of this…what do you want me to believe? How should I react, Usagi? I haven't been told a thing since the last call. Nothing. No one told me he was alive. Or dead…Nothing. How was I supposed to know that he didn't just leave and no one was willing to speak up…"

He almost couldn't believe the words he was hearing come out of Kanda's mouth. The fact that he spoke them at all actually attested to his state of mind at the moment. He was shaken up enough to actually disclose anything to Lavi at all. That both relieved and worried him simultaneously, but he sucked that back in and tried to keep with Kanda's fluctuating emotions and verbal outpour. Because the thought then occurred to him that Kanda's reaction to things wouldn't be normal to begin with. Kanda's body was changing rapidly—going through hormone changes he never should experience and altering the chemical balances that kept his temperament stable.

"...You know that Allen would never just leave you, right? Because he wouldn't. He's not like General Cross at all and when he was told he was going on a mission-back while you were sleeping on me-he freaked out a bit because he didn't want to leave you. So I'm serious when I say that he's not going to just leave. He got a bit roughed up on his way back, that's all."

"How bad is it?" Kanda asked after a long moment of silence.

"How bad is what?"

"His injuries. If he was in that bad of a condition-that they were afraid to even tell me—then he must have been injured significantly."

"Well, yes. He was stable, but he wasn't conscious when I saw him." Lavi recalled when he had glanced over his fallen friend. He'd looked sickly and the signs of bruises were obviously still there along with some of the deeper cuts; but for the most part, he was critically stable, though unlikely to worsen. The big thing was the broken bones and organ lacerations. "I know that he was lanced pretty good and broke a few bones. But Allen is kinda like you sans the super healing. He bounces back from everything, y'know?"

"Hn," Kanda's response was cut short and it fell right back into his usual attitude. Lavi wasn't actually sure if this was a good sign or not, but he assumed it was. Kanda was always awful with communication and this time the man's feelings were on the line too. Even if Kanda tried to deny that's what was going on, Lavi would still know that he was experiencing.

"Listen, all I want is for you to at least get some fresh air and try to calm up a bit. Allen is going to be okay. I saw him myself and I wouldn't lie to you when I know how you're feeling at the moment. So just...get up for a little while. Let's go to the garden or something and breathe a bit so when Allen's up again, he doesn't freak out on us both."

There was no movement and Lavi almost thought he'd upset Kanda again, which really would have been no surprise. Kanda hadn't wanted to deal with him from the very beginning and he made it plainly obvious. Of course, he assumed that a good chunk of the verbal abuse he'd received was partially due to Kanda's horrific mood swings in addition to missing his mate. And it was obvious—very obvious—that he missed Allen. But after a moment he finally did feel shifting in his grasp.

"I can't get up if you don't let me go, idiot."

"Alright, alright. Sorry." The redhead let go and inched away, finally backing off and getting himself out of the bed entirely. He'd only even done so to keep Kanda calm and it had apparently worked. Still though, he was going to make certain to keep a very close eye on Kanda while he started to move around-because now Kanda was acting withdrawn and like nothing was wrong. '

And to Lavi, that always seemed like the biggest combination of emotional disaster for Kanda. Granted, while Lavi hadn't seen a wide range of emotions from him, he'd seen his share.

"Yuu? You're okay, right?" He did finally ask as Kanda began to sit up.

"Yes. Stop annoying me."

Passing Kanda's shoes over to him, he took note of Kanda's more rigid-guarded-countenance. "Okay, okay. While we're out, you need to eat too. Because I know you haven't."

"I said stop annoying me. I will."

"Alright, I'm done," he held up his arms in defense and kept a light expression to draw him off of the fact that he was watching with some degree of concern still. _What are you thinking in there, Yuu?_

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued…<strong>

_A/N: /Sobs uncontrollably. I nearly died when I saw all the reviews. holy crap on a crap stick sandwich. I wrote two chapters following that. Because like. FFFFFF. I've never had that much of a response on a chapter before. It makes my day. And week. And life. And FFFFF. /gushes. Ignore me. I'm just over here being a dumbass. _

_I read back on some of the earlier reviews and some of the questions I saw will get answered in future chapters. So just be patient. I've thought this through too much. I know you guys miss Allen, but be patient darlin's. And as always, if you catch inconsistency and/or plot holes within my chapters, please point it out so I can work it out. I'm a fanfiction snob, so I like to be as good about that kind of thing as possible. _

_Thank you all again. Your encouragements make me feel like writing is worth it. xD /isasadsappylittleman._


	16. Selfish

**Incubation  
><strong>_Chapter 16_

He turned the door handle silently in the black of the night and all he could ponder was if they really thought he was that stupid. Given his meditative habits and years of training blindfolded in the woods, he really had a hard time understanding how any single one of them wouldn't suspect him of doing this immediately after the information got to him. Well, rather, most of his questioning fell to Lavi—as it was Lavi who told him. The ones who told Lavi should have already known better than to believe the annoying bookman in training. As a result, they should easily have prepared for Kanda's behavior.

Sneaking out of Lavi's grasp was actually a lot easier than he thought it would be, given that the redheaded annoyance had been so very concerned about him doing something stupid after finding out about Allen's status. Kanda hadn't met the bookman junior just yesterday, however, and finding the weaknesses in his guard were really not much different than waiting for the sun to go down. Lavi fell asleep and stayed asleep unless noise was made and Kanda was about as stealthy as they came in the Black Order.

He just had to see for himself. He just had to know. It had been weeks…a month since he'd seen him and every anxious tick in his mind was only going to sit there and gang up on him with confusion, doubt and fear if he didn't actually witness the man's status in the infirmary. If he had been there for the duration of a week, then he really was hurt. Well, it became pretty obvious from the way Lavi had described it. But if he was really that physically tore up. Maybe…

In the middle of the night, the nurses were predictably tending to patients in shifts and as Kanda's memory served him, he would have about an hour to sneak in and sneak out. If Allen was in a stable state, then he wouldn't be guarded too tightly for him to manage it. Silence was his territory here and just getting passed the nurse station was practically a joke.

An unfortunately problem with knowing nothing more than Allen's existence within the infirmary was that he had no idea which room Allen might actually be in or if he would be able to even get in. Well, he would be getting in one way or another—but he really didn't want to have to walk into the head nurse in doing so, because he would easily have Komui contacted about this apparent trespassing after visiting hours. If that happened, then that would give away both he and Lavi; and if this was as he said, then he did owe Lavi for this little peace of mind in knowing that Allen was alive and not bailing out on him.

What Lavi had told him was he was still in a critical care room, which narrowed it down to a select set of rooms and he prayed that Allen wasn't being kept in a room with another person.

Quietly, he peered into room after room—slowly sliding doors open and trying his best to see in the dim light. He knew he'd hear a steady stream of beeping from the appropriate room, so any room that was dead silent could be skipped to narrow down the search. His heart thumped a bit as he kept moving. If he had been lied to…Not only would he be madder than hell, but he didn't exactly know how his heart would take it. He was still in the stage of wondering where his emotions were and what they were doing. All he knew was that Allen Walker meant enough to him to make him do this—spying around the infirmary, dodging nurses while feeling like a bloated horse.

And then there was the second to last room on his search. The door was ajar just a bit and from it hung a chart—the only door thus far with such a board. In the low light it was a struggle to make out letters; but leaning close in and squinting a bit, his eyes caught the patient name and he felt a tremble crawl up his knees. Written in plain English was Allen's name with a red mark of "stable" under it.

It wasn't until he actually confirmed it that he realized just how relieved he was. The breath he exhaled had been holding long enough to burn and he came down from the anxious fear that was clawing at him. Allen hadn't left or died. He was still there and he wasn't hanging on the edge like death was reaching up for him. He was just incredibly stupid and got injured too badly to call.

That was just like the idiot though. He was certain that Allen's injury was probably due to his big heart, but at least it hadn't taken his life. If it had… He didn't even know what he would think or how he would react. All he really knew was how he felt in relief, staring at the clip board that made the worst thoughts dissipate. But as much as the chart secured some stability, he still had to see with his own eyes. A piece of paper on a clip board just wasn't enough. A month of waiting and thinking—with nothing but thoughts of his life and the changes he was facing—made him finally admit to a thing he was too wrapped up in himself before to come to terms with.

The months and months of secrecy from everyone else, topped off with the development that had him this degree of emotional, had finally just settled and curled his mind around the singular fact that—above all else—Allen Walker had slowly, but surely, become his life. Somewhere in between hating the little annoyance, and that very moment where he stood before his hospital room, he'd shifted the darkness in his heart over and let something else take up space.

A casual glance around and he was confident in his isolation. The nurses seemed to be busy with other things at the moment and Kanda knew he didn't have that much time so dawdling had to be cut short. His body wasn't feeling entirely too happy being forced around in the middle of the night on an empty stomach and weeks of poor sleep, so he had to make this a quick excursion. Slipping into the room, he made sure the door shut as silently as possible behind him. At least if the door was closed, he could hear someone coming in and try to hide in the shadows of the dimmed room long enough for a nurse to do her business and get out.

Though, as he walked more into the room, he realized he really wouldn't have much ability to hide in here. The room was lit—even if a bit dim—but it was enough that he could easily see Allen. The sleeping figure was being licked by shadows, but it didn't hide the bruises and scratches. Even from where he was, the state of his partner was looking very poor.

He quietly padded across the bare floor feet cold against the stone, but his mind was elsewhere. The only sound in the room was a steady beat and Allen consistent breathing. At least he was breathing on his own and not aided by a machine. From where he was standing, at the edge of Allen's hospital bed, he concluded that most of the injuries appeared to me lacerations and probable bone breaks—if the casted arm attested to anything.

A breath escaped him and he looked down at the edge of the bed, finding another chart—this time a bed side chart with more comprehensive details. The several pages clipped together detailed dozens of injuries, ranging from minor to life threatening. From the vague descriptions, he could only assume that Allen had either been smacked really hard by something large or he had fallen from a very high place and was lucky enough not to die of it. At least he was a perseverant pain in the ass.

"Moyashi, you can't keep doing shit like this," he murmured quietly to no one but himself. Allen wasn't even awake and there was no one else. Perhaps that's the only reason he'd spoken at all, because he didn't feel like he was being watched. There were no eyes to judge him when his fingers trailed until they found their way to Allen's face, brushing down a bruised cheek.

It was for a selfish reason that he hated seeing Allen like this. It really was. Because while he was lamenting Allen's current pained situation, he was still lamenting the space in his bed where this particular individual belonged and knowing now that he had been here the whole time, he felt cheated. It felt like he'd been the only person left out of information he should have been the first to be informed about. It wasn't right and when this was all sorted out and Allen was in the clear, Kanda was going to approach Komui about it. He'd promised Lavi, but there was only so much he could take. Did they think that he would never find out they were holding Moyashi from him?

If they did then they were a lot stupider than he took them for. If he'd known, then he could have at least been by Allen more than this. This wasn't even considered him being by his side, because he wasn't supposed to even be there and this offered no moral support for either. All he could do was watch Allen struggle for his health and all Allen could do was remained asleep and try to heal. At this rate, Allen would be tucked away healing for months.

He couldn't have that.

No matter how excellent the medical staff was, there was no way they could have Allen healed in the manner that he needed Allen and yes, he needed him. He supposed that was another facet of his selfishness. He wanted Allen better because he needed and wanted Allen—not as much for the boy's comfort and personal health. It made him sick to think in such an introverted manner, but it was all he could do.

Perhaps that was another reason they'd kept him away from Allen, because he was likely to give himself too much stress trying to think around what was going on here. Perhaps Komui knew that the anxiety, that came with wondering about how much Allen would be able to be around, would mess with him a bit. No, he didn't need any discomfort when his body was already stretching itself thin on every aspect. He was barely holding himself together at this stage, but it felt worse without Allen.

Even so, he couldn't understand it one bit. Why wouldn't they at least tell him he was okay? That seemed like the logical thing to do.

His mind centered too hard on that and he still couldn't really fathom why that had been the chosen method. Absently, he turned from Allen and took a look around the room, spying cabinets that looked fairly stocked. He didn't have a lot of time to hang around and sentimentality wasn't his thing, so he wasn't going to sit mindlessly by Allen's side and stroke his face all night. He had another idea hit him and he had to act on it quickly if he was going to accomplish this before the next nurse shift came through to check on the patient.

What he needed would undoubtedly be accessible in this room. He'd been in the infirmary enough times himself to know this. It was just a process of remembering exactly which drawer or cabinet he saw it being pulled from and hoping he had enough knowledge to remember how to do it. Growing up in a lab and spending so much time in the hospitals had given him an edge on this sort of thing, luckily.

The object he was looking for was a glass syringe—capped and clean, that he could use and easily dispose to prevent any finger pointing in the morning. Of course, he knew there would be anyway, but the lack of evidence would make it harder for anyone to get mad at him for this. It wasn't like they could stop him after the fact anyway. Kanda did what Kanda wanted and lately, he was tired of being strung around with bullshit. They wanted to play behind his back, then he could do the very same.

After just a bit more digging, he found the jackpot. _Even a child could get to this stuff_, he thought. Of course, they weren't preparing for Kanda's rebellion here anyway. So it wasn't like they had a reason to really lock down all of the needle kits. They'd learn after this, if he got caught.

Putting over the tray stand, he moved the dim light over a bit to focus it on what he was doing. Allen appeared to be out like a light anyway, so he really didn't need it all that much. If this trick was to work to its full potential, then he needed to at least be accurate. Drawing out the syringe push, he left the container hollow. Even he knew how to do this, which really said something, given his current status of not being the smartest person around. For this case, he was glad, because this would be the quickest and least messy way.

Doing it one handed, however, proved to be a challenge, but he had a high enough tolerance for pain that he could stick it as many times it would take to actually lead the beveled end of the needle into the artery just above his wrist. He could feel his pulse jumping around and it eventually led to nailing it just as he needed. Holding it still, he watched in the dim light as the container filled with his bright red blood. His pulse pushed the blood into the container until it was full and he withdrew it carefully—placing a cap over it so he could repeat the process with the second syringe. With luck, the second stick proved to be the easier one and both tubes were filled in a fairly good time for how little practice he had with drawing blood—as he'd really only seen it be done and had it done on him by others.

With that out of the way, he disposed of everything else that would incriminate him, leaving him with only two fresh blood filled needles. Setting aside the table tray, he moved a chair up next to the bed so that he was right next to Allen. With his luck, there weren't any needles plugged into his wrist—most of them attached to the elbow veins. As long as he could get it into a vein, his goal would be fulfilled. Even he knew that sending it through a vein would lead it back to the heart to be redistributed. With that, he knew that his highly regenerative blood would spread out and work where it was needed. Even if his blood was mostly concentrating on his abdominal tearing, it didn't make it any less potent when taken fresh from an artery—which was exactly what he'd done.

Tapping the container and pushing any air bubble out—and wiping his blood on his shirt—he settled close, leaning as much as his body allowed over the clear spot and he clamped his hand over the place just above it to try and make the vein stick out more obviously. Even if he missed, his blood wouldn't let anything go wrong—however, the goal was to flush it through his body and the only way to accomplish that was directly through the blood stream.

After two attempts at angling and missing, he managed to pull venous blood into the chamber with a withdraw and determined he'd hit a vein. Slowly, he emptied the tube of blood into Allen's vein. The effects would take place later, he knew, but the purpose was to get his blood coursing through him. While he thought that one vial might be enough, for the purpose of feeling assured, he carefully dumped the second container in, letting his blood mix with Moyashi's.

Sitting back, he collected any other evidences and moved the tray to its original position before he did the same of the very chair he was sitting on. He'd let them wonder in the morning what happened. There wouldn't be any evidence he was in there—even though he was sure that Komui was going to come after him the moment it sunk in. He didn't care at the moment. The slight blurring of his vision told him he had to leave while he still had the state of mind to do it. His body was getting tired and the effort he exerted just to get to Allen then take out the blood he did was catching up quickly.

The first thought he had was what he was going to do with the syringes and he nixed the idea of throwing them. Covering them up in a wrapping cloth, he carried them with him as safely as he could and gave the room one last glance over before he turned and headed toward the door. The sounds beyond the door hadn't changed at it gave him the impression that he was in the clear to slip out and make his way back into the room before Lavi realized he was even gone.

Turning his gaze back for just a second, he watched Allen sleep and he exhaled quietly. "I better see you in the morning, moyashi."

Without another sound, he left.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Fun thing to note, this is all written with experience drawing blood in mind. I went to school for med stuff, so there ya go. Additionally, this is my favorite chapter so far._

_Also; have a little faith in me guys. I'm well aware of is not. Don't have strokes on me. I kinda did mention I took some med schooling._

_Moreso, L:SJKDSLCHJDKSCJDSKLCXDSJKD. That's my reaction. To all yer reviews and the fact that you are all brain damaging me here with your support. How do I-. /gross sobbing. I say this every chapter but every chapter my inbox explodes and thus does all my cognitive thinking. oKAY. It's only 6am, I'm going to bed bye now. I hope this chapter was good to you guys. _

_iiiiIIIi llllOOOoooove YoooOOOOu. _


	17. Guilt

**Incubation  
><strong>_Chapter 17_

"He's still asleep," a voice whispered in the quiet room. Three bodies occupied the space—though one wasn't awake for the discussion between the two alert members of the room. Staring down at the worn body, silver eyes tried to make sense of many things—many things he suspected he would require the consciousness of this dark haired viper who was calmly snoozing in his bed; their bed.

"Yeah. He's been on and off for a few days now. I don't even remember getting him out of bed yesterday and not much since you finally decided to be coherent," an amused tone covered concern. Lavi was quickly becoming an expert on how to handle people and their obtuse ways of dealing with things.

"I'm glad he's okay, though I had expected him to be more awake."

"Given the circumstances, it's actually pretty amazing he even gets up the few times he does. I know he's in pain. I can hear his breathing at night. Though, I'm not going to lie, I'm ready to give him back to you for that. Sleeping next to him is like sticking my head in a lion's mouth."

With that, Allen let a bit of a chuckle go—lightening the atmosphere. "It's not that bad once you're used to it. Kanda's not exactly cuddly, but he's a good bed partner when he lets it happen."

He couldn't help but run his fingers along Kanda's skin, trailing over his cheek and feeling the warmth in his face. It had become clear, despite the light conversation, that Kanda had somewhere gotten sick. At least sick enough to induce this fever. Neither of them were stupid, though. Lavi especially, given that Lavi had been in charge of Kanda and had also been the one to discover Allen's state of being within the walls of the infirmary. The redhead had felt Kanda slip out of the bed in the middle of the night—returning an hour later with something wrapped in a towel that ended up in such an easy place to find later when Lavi decided to snoop around and find out what was so urgent that Kanda had to sneak out.

Allen on the other hand…he knew what had taken place for a bit of a different reason and the very fact that he was sitting upright with little more than bruises and a light splint for good measure, proved his hypothesis on that. Even if Lavi hadn't laid the two syringes out for him to see, he believed he would have figured it out one way or another. He knew, after all, just how powerful Kanda's blood was as a healing agent. What he didn't understand was why Kanda had put himself out like that…and exactly how he found out in the first place. Looking across the room to a certain redhead, he figured it was connected there.

"I'm just worried now," Allen muttered, breaking the silence.

"I can tell, but I don't think you have to worry about it getting worse at the moment. Komui shoved him on a lot of nutrients to try and get his blood working his immune system better."

"This wouldn't have been necessary if he hadn't…"

"Allen, we really don't know that," Lavi interrupted before Allen's thought process could decline. Sure, he suspected that Kanda giving up any of the blood that was busy keeping his body from failing was probably a cause of his sudden sickness. However, he also knew that Kanda's attitude had been very sour and he'd taken a lot of information suddenly, in addition to stupidly donating two large syringes of necessary blood. "For all we know, this could have been on the way regardless of what he did."

Even so, Allen couldn't shake the awful feeling that came with Kanda's current state. He knew that he had been messed up really badly when he was returned with the Finder. He'd done everything in his power to keep it together long enough to at least communicate with Komui over the phone lines; but once he'd spoken to the scientist, everything had become a blur and he'd only recalled a few flashes of memory in moments where consciousness secured him long enough to be remembered. Waking up suddenly riddled with minor wounds hadn't exactly been expected and he'd been shaken with a fear that he'd been recovering so long that he missed everything. That in itself had gotten him out of his hospital bed—alerting Komui to the sudden change in health.

Kanda wasn't dead. That had really been all he could think—fear—about when he'd realized he wasn't lingering on the edge of death himself. Komui hadn't seemed any less frantic, but for an entirely different reason. It certainly didn't take a genius to realize that Allen's spike in recovery wasn't unaided, but there was a sore lack of evidence to prove Kanda had actually done anything. And then, of course, there was the possibility—to Komui—that Allen's Innocence had something to do with it. Or at least that was what he'd brushed it off as, as if Allen didn't know he was just biting his tongue. It wasn't his Innocence and both he and the Scientist knew that, but Komui was shutting his trap for some reason or another. The only reason Allen could possibly have thought of was currently unconscious and feverish.

That and he had this strange sense of familiarity, like he'd felt Kanda with him at some point in his recovery. It was hard to explain, but it had kept his sleeping mind a little more stable while he was locked inside dreams that seemed to want to torment him.

Coming back to this reminded him how much he didn't want to see Kanda like this… but at some point, he knew it was bound to happen. His lover's health was only going to get worse. If taking two vials worth of blood, to deliver into his body, had actually taken that much out of his system, then he was frightened. He was frightened because Kanda was nothing short of his everything—as much as he didn't want to cling to another person so hard after Mana.

"I just want him to be okay." A sigh escaped into the quieted room and Allen leaned forward, pressing his cheek to Kanda's. The man remained sleeping, but a noise came out of him that brought a semblance of a smile to Allen's face. Even in his sleep Kanda was still fully capable of being a grouch-ass. That was something Allen had come to expect and even want, really. Kanda was Kanda and that was why he'd gotten close to him to begin with. Kanda never held punches and Allen felt he needed that.

"He will be, Allen. He's too strong to just cave anyway. But you know, he really missed you, man." Lavi crossed a foot over the opposite knee and leaned back in the chair stationed next to the bed—while Allen remained seated just beside Kanda. "He fell into a really bad slump when you hadn't contacted us for a while."

That drew Allen's attention and while he felt a flutter of unrest about it, he also felt a degree of warmth. It meant that Kanda did care. Well…He suspected Kanda cared anyway, given that he had withdrawn his own regenerative blood to inject into Allen's veins to speed his recovery up. That alone spoke volumes to him, but that Kanda had such a reaction before even knowing what happened…It made him feel like maybe Kanda did feel the way he felt. Kanda was just the worst person in the world about expressing himself in any degree. "It makes me feel bad…"

"Feel bad?"

"Yeah…I didn't know he would react that way. If I had even suspected that it would affect him so negatively, I wouldn't have told Komui…" He trailed off, that uncomfortable tightening in his chest made him turn his head from Kanda. Beneath all other feelings, there was one surfacing at the mention of Kanda's response to his long term disappearance.

Guilt.

Because he had assumed his affection for Kanda was more one sided in the strength of it. Not that he thought Kanda didn't care at all, because he knew he did. He knew there was some kind of love hiding under that coarse exterior. The man was absolutely the worst at expressing anything and had a strong tendency to pretend nothing ever bothered him at all. So for him to actually show it…

"Damn, I feel like a dick now," he exhaled and dropped his head. It wasn't like him to express himself in such a blunt and ungentlemanly way, but this was one of those situations that somewhat called for it.

"Allen? What are you going on about, man? You didn't do anything wrong, other than getting your ass kicked a little and I really doubt that was on purpose."

"No…There was something I did…sort of. I just didn't think…" Turning his head back to Kanda, he watched the man sleep. He needed assurance that Kanda was still breathing in the pattern of slumber before he continued. This was something he didn't want to express before Kanda just yet. Because somehow, he knew that man would be mad enough to give him a good punch to the face and the last time he moved too suddenly and too angrily, he had coughed up enough blood to be considered a donation.

Lavi, however, was teetering on damn impatient. He'd had to deal with a lot of Kanda's misery and then uncovering Allen's screwed up state—which led to dealing with more crap until Kanda fixed Allen. Not to mention, something about Kanda's blood donation brought him to the conclusion that he would be hearing it from the 'doctors' again sometime soon. He wasn't supposed to tell Kanda about the beansprout after all. "Allen…"

"When I got…hurt…Lenalee sent me back with a Finder while she finished the second level two that popped up behind me. Normally, I catch those. You know I do, but that one actually teleported in. I guess that was its power. Either way, it hit me hard. Threw me through some building and slashed me up, as I'm sure you saw. When I managed to get out of range and she took him out, I contacted Komui while I was still conscious."

That clicked into place in Lavi's brain and he ticked off a list of questions and bits of information that led to answers, but resulted in even more questions. "Wait, so Komui knew you were injured from the very beginning?! But if he knew, why didn't he tell us anything?"

"…Ah…because I asked him not to."

The room shifted into a deadly silence and while Lavi knew he shouldn't feel any real emotion in response to something someone else does, he was beginning to feel the rise of anger at Allen. Not because he didn't understand why Allen might have requested that in his hazed, injured state; but because he was on the biased opposite side where he had to watch Kanda slowly diminish into darker and darker thoughts that he knew had to be storming in that head of his. Kanda was a combination of a pessimist and realist and there was a possibility of the worst selection _always_ present with someone in their line of work.

It was very realistic to think that Allen had walked off and right into the clutches of death. With that in mind, Kanda could be stewing in the prospect of dealing with his issue alone. The redhead wasn't in that position, so he really couldn't make any real judgments; but he got a strong impression that if he were in Kanda's place, he would probably have responded about the same.

"That's really fucked up, Allen," he finally snapped at the younger teen. It wasn't a harsh tone, or even accompanied by an angry expression. It was just a very cool and unforgiven manner of expression that he returned to Allen.

"I know…I…"

"I don't think you actually do know, though," Lavi interrupted, originally not planning to involve himself beyond his aggravation of having to deal with Kanda being extremely pissy and unfriendly with everything he tried to do. "For the weeks you were missing, I couldn't even get him to hit me, yell at me, call me ridiculous name, or even insult me at all. In the last week, I couldn't get him to get out of bed and he wouldn't eat most of what I brought him. And then, when I stumbled upon your file on Komui's desk and found out you were in the very building with us…I was told I couldn't even tell him. So, I did anyway. Because I had been the only one paying attention. I was the only one who saw his heart breaking slowly. He'll never admit it. Never. But that was what was happening. The very night I told him what happened to you, he snuck out to see you and I let him. I knew where he was going, I just never thought he cared so much about you that he would take the very much needed blood out of his own body to heal you."

Lavi paused for a moment to catch his breath and think about what else he needed to say before he considered himself done with the topic. He wasn't going to intrude beyond this, because this was their business and he was just supposed to be a bookman. His anger was steaming off as he watched Allen's expressions change as he went on. "You both are so stupid it's unreal. You wanted to protect him by leaving him ignorant and he wanted to protect you by putting himself at risk. You both need to have a long talk about your stupidity some time, because you're going to have problems if you don't take a moment to address it."

Allen stared at Lavi for a while, thinking…contemplating and soaking in all of what he said. He really thought it would be easier if Kanda didn't know he was teetering between life and death. But he was apparently more wrong than he ever thought. "I know…I just…I can't tell him yet. I can't tell him that I…didn't want him to know." Because ultimately, it felt wrong no matter what. His fingers traced the curve of Kanda's jaw and the man turned his head into Allen's hand unconsciously, oblivious.

"You know, there's another term for stupidity, Allen."

Humoring the bookman in training, he turned his silver eyes back and waited for the answer that he was certain would follow, "yeah, and what's that?"

"It's called love. And you two are clearly very full of it. Unfortunately, there's a reason it's synonymous with stupid. But if you're careful with it, you can keep it from being dangerous to both of you."

"Dangerous?"

"Yes, dangerous. If this sort of backhanded shit keeps travelling between you two—you not allowing him to know what happened to you and him going against what he knows he can't do—then one of you is going to end up hurt or worse, it'll kill what relationship you two have been sneaking under us all this time. And you know, this whole time I was thinking pretty shitty thoughts about Komui and Cross, but they were only following your request because you know Yuu better than anyone."

"I thought I knew better, but I guess I really don't. I somehow missed a crucial thing about him…I just…never thought he would think so much about it. There's that whole 'out of sight, out of mind' thing and I suppose I thought that was his way of thinking," he confessed and felt terrible for it. It almost made it seem like he thought Kanda was somehow shallow in his end of this thing between them. After all, it had taken him so long just to admit what was going on with him…

Actually, perhaps that should have been the first indicator that Kanda wasn't actually being very straightforward. Straightforward was just not the Kanda way, after all. And he was in a full circle to the beginning of feeling really horrible again. His lover was laid up because he'd been screwed over by the Innocence, carrying his child…and he didn't have the decency to let his superiors be honest with him.

"Allen, stop flogging yourself in there. It's over and done now. But he's going to have to know if the two of you have any hope to not learn to hate each other. Especially since I found it really odd for Komui to be so…alienated about the topic. I'm also assuming that Lenalee knew all this."

"She knew I was injured…"

"…Are you telling me she didn't know what you'd asked of her brother?"

"I didn't think she needed to know that part. I assumed that's why Komui sent her on to the next part of the mission. If she'd returned with us, she'd have told both of you before any one could stop her."

Lavi pursed his lips and cast Allen was pitied glance. "I'll miss you when you're gone, after she finds out that you had this level of secrecy going on."

"Wait…why would she—"

"Because she's going to put her boot up your ass for not telling her anything and not only that, but stressing Yuu out to the point it got to. I dunno if you caught it anywhere, buddy, but those two have known each other longer than most everyone else here's known either of them. Lena practically considers him her brother too…Y'know."

Allen leaned over, resting his upper body against the mattress with a groan. He'd made a poor choice in a moment of near death, but at least nothing really bad had come of it. Nothing irreversible; but Lavi was right, it couldn't get to the point where it could turn sour. He'd have to be more careful. He'd have to discuss with Komui about how to deal with situations like that in the future.

And at some point, he would have to tell Kanda. But for now, he would remain where he was and try to watch over him as best he could. Given his recent injury, he suspected Komui would be giving him a little more time to stay by his lover's side.

"Oh by the way, we went maternity clothes shopping!" Lavi bleated suddenly, with a big grin suddenly covering the previous expression.

Allen nearly choked on his own saliva as his he breathed in suddenly at the outburst. Then, of course, he actually thought about the concept that had him coughing to begin with and it really didn't help when he found it amusing enough to invoke a chuckle. "Help…" He coughed through it, struggling to keep from suffocating himself in his hacking, "Lavi…I'm dying here."

"Hn, you better…not be."

They both froze, Allen struggling to fight down his spasms. Three eyes focused down on the still sleeping man, who rolled over into Allen and mumbled against him, practically cursing him in his sleep if he decided to die before permission was given.

Allen couldn't help but smile.

**To Be Continued**…

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><p><em>AN: I'm sorry for any errors or suckatude on this particular chapter. My proofreading was about as lazy as I can get while feeling like rolling over and sleeping the rest of my life away. _

**_Thank you guys, affgbhfsgsahds. I'm just like a little surprised at the response lately. I guess I'm not used to it. And it gives me warm fuzzies. Hope you guys enjoy._**

_Also, a few notes. Feel free to skip, _

_**In as much as I really hate to spoil anything** about anything ever, I need to point out that Kanda's blood type is actually fabricated for his record. It actually says that in one of the Japanese profile books. AB is his listed blood type, not necessarily his actual blood type. This was something I figured out with a friend over skype and it is relevant later. _

_To someone who mentioned it: I'm sorry, if I didn't update periodically, I'd never manage to get this story finished. Because I pace myself based on how many chapters I have to edit, post, and write. If I wrote them all at once. You'd never see them because I'd never be willing to edit them. This is the best way for me to do it. _

_To the other question, yes, I have personally drawn blood from someone and had my own drawn many many times during my studies before I quit. :)_


	18. Love

**Incubation  
><strong>_Chapter 18_

"Augh," a grumble filled the dark room and the one who made it happen, rolled in place. His body hurt. He was sore and still tired, despite waking because he had slept more than his body wanted. It was like he couldn't decide what to feel and even if he managed to figure out what feeling to have, it changed on him as soon as he was settled on one. "Damn it."

"Kanda?"

The second voice that responded to his own made him turn his head and sit up as much as his sore middle would allow. It felt like a fruitless effort, because he couldn't see in the darkness anyway. There was no available light in the room and there really wasn't much of a moon to aid that either. So he had no sight for the other person he was sharing a bed with. Even so, he knew that voice and the warmth of that body just sucked him back in until he was facing his bed mate, curling a leg with the other's. It wasn't Lavi. That much had been obvious the moment he'd woken. The energy waves here were calmer, more welcome, and resonated with him in a way that left him feeling comforted—not anxious.

It was, without any question, his beansprout. But the last time he remembered seeing Allen was when he'd looked over him, half broken and unconscious—unless he'd been hallucinating that. If Allen was resting beside him, either he'd healed or it had been a dream all along. It didn't feel like any kind of dream though. That felt entirely too real. Then again, his vague memories of the past few days had him with the understanding that he may have slipped into some kind of delirium from the massive fever he'd incurred.

"Hng, moyashi," he grunted and used his hands to blindly feel over Allen's chest and arms in the dark. He did remember Allen's arm was casted up and if he was still any bit injured, then he should still have something on his arm. Of course, if he hadn't been hallucinating his blood donation, then it would be reasonable to think maybe he'd healed enough that he wouldn't need any splints or anything.

A soft chuckle and pair of hands moved to hold Kanda's still for a moment. "It's Allen. First time talking to you since I've come back and you still can't call me by my name."

"What are you talking about," a groan followed, "I did call you by your name."

"_Moyashi_ is not my name, Kanda." Even though he said it with distain, Allen never meant it like that. Truthfully, he didn't know what he would do if Kanda actually called him by his name. It would feel awkward and in some way, he preferred the nickname given. At least he knew that Kanda cared enough to put the five second into giving him his own label for him.

"Is so," Kanda returned, submitting to laying against him lazily—no longer having the energy to search him. So he had imagined it then.

"I heard you were especially unpleasant in my absence." Allen chuckled, because it wasn't unthinkable for Kanda to be unpleasant in any manner anyway. In his absence, it seemed strange that would actually increase—given that he assumed his presence annoyed Kanda constantly.

"I was sleeping with Usagi the entire time you were gone. That's unpleasant for anyone, let alone for someone who wants to rip his tongue out of his head." His nose curled; not because of Lavi himself really, but because of the very idea surrounding his month of sleeping in a bed with him. It still felt wrong. Everything about it felt wrong, because his body needed Allen's energy. Not Lavi's sporadic, bouncing energy that felt like he was being fed with sugar into his veins.

"I sure hope you mean that innocently."

"Ha. Ha. You're hilarious. Don't make me kick you out of this bed."

Allen proceeded to wrap his arms around Kanda warmly, holding him close and preventing that from even being a possibility. Though, he wouldn't be all too surprised if Kanda decided to try and do that anyway. If he knew Kanda, and he knew Kanda; the man was tenacious enough to make the effort. However, he suspected that he wouldn't bother with something that could cause him actual pain. Pain and Kanda, while they seemed to go together under most circumstances, didn't seem to be getting along as of lately. Mainly because this kind of pain was a little…different. "Would you rather me go get Lavi to sleep in here?"

"Do it, and I'll make sure you die and stay dead," he threatened weakly.

And even Allen could pick up how weak it was. A man who had put his own blood into his veins to make him heal faster would not possibly go through with a death threat like that. Even if he didn't have any will to admit it, Kanda obviously cared about him. It made him want to hold Kanda close to him forever; though he knew he might actually get punted out of the bed if he did that. For some reason, the way he always saw Kanda contrasted with the way he always tried to appear to everyone else. Maybe that was why it seemed a little unbelievable that he had managed to get as close as he had.

In some ways, they were so far from each other that the gap could be seen from space; in others, the bond was so close it would be impossible to separate from that point. But perhaps that's what made it a worthwhile thing to pursue. Kanda was something unique. Hard and cold, but burying a fragile beating heart that he was slowly handing over. It was something he wanted and something he would cherish once he finally had all of it.

"You know I love you, right?"

A long moment of silence settled comfortably in the room as Allen knew it would. His dark-haired lover was never one to handle straightforwardness like that. His means of expression were usually a form of hiding all in itself. And even as they shot mindless bickering back and forth, he felt the desire…the need to be frank.

"…Moyashi."

"I know. I know you don't like to hear that and I don't expect it back. But I was really terrified there for a while. Because I really thought I was going to die. And sure, I kinda said it before; I never really just said it to say it. I didn't want to think about what would have happened to you if I hadn't come back and stayed alive."

A hand pressed firmly against Allen's chest and any further commentary out of the younger man was cut off. It was only a matter of time before Kanda interrupted him and refused to let him gush on like that. It was actually amazing that he'd let him drag on as long as he had. He was laying it on a bit thick, but between his fears and the underlying guilt, he couldn't stop himself from the things that poured out of his mouth.

"Stop, damn it. Just…stop. Are you saying you really were laid up in the infirmary? I didn't just dream that? Because…" What was he supposed to say after that? If Allen had been healed with his assistance, there was no doubt that it would have been figured out anyway—so it wasn't like there was a use in pretending otherwise. But if it hadn't gone like that, then he would give away what kind of behavior he would have done and that was almost as incriminating for his personal feelings.

"No. That wasn't a dream, Kanda. While you have been nearly comatose for a few days because of a fever, you were there before. And I know what you did. Lavi showed me the evidence you left behind. Oh so cleverly put in a drawer, a place someone like a bookman in training totally wouldn't look." There was a hint of teasing in the layers of honesty.

"Shut up. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just throw them out. My blood was all over them and Cross would have eaten me alive if he'd been the one to catch it. Granted, by that point I suppose it wouldn't have mattered. I already had emptied the syringes into you. And obviously, it worked. So I think I deserve a 'thank you' for my efforts in making sure you didn't end up a vegetable."

"I might have made it out without you risking yourself, you know."

"Right, teetering on the edge of life and death—in a coma—sure is showing me, Moyashi."

"Yeah, well, you're very fortunate you didn't end up hurting yourself over that. You could have ended up dying over it. You know that every drop of blood you have is saving the Innocence from eating you alive."

Kanda slid his hand up and took the skin of Allen's cheek between his fingers, grunting irritably and giving a pinch. "Yeah, I gave two syringes of blood and that healed your wounds. I don't know how long it took, but if you're here—laying in this bed with me—then it wasn't that long and it worked. Neither of us are dead and it worked out. So…stop getting yourself almost killed and I won't have to save your stupid ass. I won't go solo on this. Do you hear me?"

"Yeah…I hear you. I'm not going anywhere for a while anyway. I'm supposed to be half dead, right? Komui's a bit upset with you, I can only imagine. He didn't say anything yet…said he was waiting for you to wake up. But anyway, because of the reports filed, I have to stay 'in medical care' for long enough to properly heal."

"But you are properly healed, moron."

"Yes, but Central doesn't know that. Central is only being delivered the information Komui gives them. They think I'm still laid up and out of commission. In a way, it's actually a good thing all of this happened…Because now I can stay here, with you, for a while until Komui can't put off sending my all clear." Admittedly, Allen was disappointed that he couldn't backtrack the conversation and gush at Kanda more, but perhaps it just wasn't beneficial for either of them to keep going. Kanda knew how Allen was feeling and that was really what prompted his quick subject shift. Instead, he chose to keep him close—fingers grazing over Kanda's cheek absently enough that it didn't make the man breathe fire on him.

"So, Komui is going to lie and say you're still injured so you can stay with me?"

"Pretty much. Though, I don't think that's too much of a lie, given everything else we're hiding."

"We? I'm the one hiding terrible things over here," Kanda rolled his eyes in the dark—face scrunching up involuntarily when he felt Allen's hands moving around, one of them sliding over his side. He could feel the beansprout's thumb lightly stroking over his middle. It was both enough to make him want to move away and press closer at the same time. Involuntarily, he still felt a lot of embarrassment about the whole thing and withdrawing from it felt easier than coming to terms with it just yet. But at the same time, the warm flickers of energy Allen gave off felt too good to just move away from.

He was very conflicted.

"Yeah, but I kinda helped that happen, you know…or well. You kinda made me help that happen—"

"That wasn't my fault!" Kanda shut him off before he could keep going and he was thankful for the dark, because the face he made could not have been attractive by any means. They'd already had this discussion to some extent, but he'd yet to have it thrown at him in a tease like this. "I wouldn't have attacked you that carelessly and you know that."

"I dunno, maybe you might have. You've been known to surprise people. I mean, how many people probably think you're asexual."

"They're supposed to think that. It's how I get by!"

"That really didn't work with me."

And he pinched Allen's cheek again. He should have known that the damned moyashi was going to throw that one back at him. It was by a freak accident that Allen had weaseled his way into whatever relationship this was called. They were undeniably lovers; but how far the term stretched, he didn't know personally. Allen's expressions of love had him feeling strange, mainly because there was some sort of itch of guilt settling from where he couldn't seem to say it back. It wasn't that he didn't care in return, it was that he didn't know how to really understand what his feeling really was and while he could feel it in Allen's words—he didn't think that a word like 'love' suited him any. "You're a freak and I should have told you to fuck off."

"Oh fucking off was don—OW. What was that for?!" Allen's yelp filled the quiet room. Kanda's fingers closed over the skin of his cheek especially hard and he squirmed a bit. It was a bit crass, yes, but Kanda was asking for it!

"Why would you say something like that, you little asshat!?"

"Come on, it's not like you didn't leave that one wide open!"

"You're about to be sleeping on the floor." The threat fell dull, given the way his body was molded to Allen's—now flush against his after swiping Allen's hand off his middle. Sleeping with Lavi had been grossly uncomfortable for the fact that he couldn't really sleep close to him other than back to back. Any other form of sleeping made him feel dangerously adulterous with Lavi. But with Allen there, warm and not dead, he felt more inclined to conform himself to the body in his bed. It left him with a pleasant feeling he could only describe as glowing. He could feel the shift in energy, even if Allen probably couldn't. Allen's body wasn't experiencing heightened sensitivity quite like his was, after all.

"I doubt you plan to sleep on the floor." The remark was made in Allen's victory, because it was obvious Kanda had no strength to hold his threat.

"I'm only using you for your precious energy. The rest of you can fuck off."

"And I suppose you needed this energy so bad that you had to sneak around in the middle of the night to shove your blood in me so I could heal and crawl back into bed with you?"

"When you say it like that, you make me sound like a fucking pervert."

"You're not?"

"Get out of this bed right now."

Allen arms only wrapped about him, bringing him into a tighter embrace and he rubbed his cheek against Kanda's, even as the man flailed weakly in his grasp. He had ultimate power at the moment and he was perfectly okay with abusing it. Kanda didn't really have any ability to push him off and once he was trapped in his arms, he was done for anyway. Getting out of the bed would be impossible, unless he took Kanda down with him and like hell was he going to risk Kanda's body going to the floor.

Though, to be truthful, he expected more of a fight than what he got. However, his partner eventually just succumbed to his grasp and actually leaned his head into the crook of Allen's neck—his own arms curling around Allen. For a moment there, he thought he could feel emotions off Kanda and it hadn't occurred to Allen that Kanda might actually be hiding the real feelings with his mask of indifference.

He said nothing though. He didn't question the break in his even breathing or the momentary spot of wetness that smeared into his neck when the dark haired man's face moved. It was left alone as it should be. They'd been through enough and he wasn't cruel enough to call Kanda on something like that. Most things, he would and most times he'd even enjoy it; but the guilt that hung over him wouldn't allow him to play it up to it potential.

That and his love for Kanda really wasn't a joke. Just having him conscious and as healthy as possible for the moment was enough to break him of the maximum teasing he could muster. He'd save his chiding and jokes at his partner's expense for the morning, when he would drag him out of bed to make him eat like he should have been all along.

"Kanda?" His voice wasn't much above a whisper, but he realized through all his thinking that the body in his arms may have actually returned to sleep and he smiled a bit when nothing but a soft grumble came back as an answer. He wasn't about to wake him up again just to tell him to sleep well—that would defeat the purpose.

It did give him more time to really think though. Just between he and his memories. When he'd experienced his tragedy with Mana, he swore to himself he'd never let anyone close enough to be lost like that. Yet, the entire time he was lingering between alive and dead, all he could think about was Kanda and the way he'd shaped his world—in a much different way, of course, than Mana had. Regardless, Kanda had become something precious to him to the point where he'd surpassed the boundary set by his broken past with Mana.

And it still baffled him how that even happened at all. It wasn't intentional. He certainly didn't start out loving Kanda. It wasn't even until he was frantically holding on to consciousness while he was talking to Komui that he even realized the extent of it.

But when he did realize it, suddenly he felt like he'd been saved.

That something so…Life altering could come from something that originally had been nothing but male raging hormones and boredom would keep him questioning fate for a long time. And sometimes, he wondered if Kanda ever lingered on that concept. Though, he knew Kanda wasn't the type to buy into fate.

Given that, it made him realize that Kanda_ chose_ to let it escalate. And in a way, that made the idea of fate a small and insignificant thing.

Pressing his face closer to Kanda's, he smiled and closed his eyes.

**To Be Continued…**

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><p><em>AN: I usually don't really talk about the chapters in the notes down here, but I feel like I have a personal connection to this chapter, because it really revealed a lot to me with these characters, and I suppose I just want to say that as of right now, this chapter has become my favorite. I hope you liked it as well. _

_And thank you guys so much for all your lovely comments. I've been a bit of a slacker lately, and I intend to fix that very soon. I'm still kinda amazed by the responses, to be honest. This story has a long way to go and I hope I can keep you guys feeling positive through to the end!_


	19. Devotion

**Incubation  
><strong>_Part 19_

"Well, you seem to be doing a lot better. Still hot to the touch, but being a hot head isn't anything unusual; now is it, brat?"

"If you'll please stop crushing my head with your big man hand, I'd be a lot happier."

"Your happiness doesn't mean a whole lot to me, actually," with an effortless flick, the larger man sufficiently committed to aggravating his patient and his patient was feeling just as rebellious as he could at the moment. No surprise. It wasn't exactly a secret that once Komui got there; they were going to have a nice long chat. He, the bookman jr. and his idiot apprentice were all doggy paddling up shit creek as far as he was concerned. Of course, they really couldn't expect any less from a bunch of dumbass teenagers. Even so, if he himself had a moment of concern, then something had to be said.

"Stressing me out isn't going to make me healthy, either. And I'm pretty sure my health means a lot." More agitated bitching from the mother to be and he simply flicked the kid's forehead again. What a pain in the ass. Of course his idiot student would pick positively the most irritating one to tango under covers with. "Hey!"

"Quit whining, girl. You're going to annoy me into gagging you."

"You're the one invading my personal space."

"I told you before, you have less rights to your body than I do at this particular moment and I told you to hold still." In that particular moment, actually, he was waiting for the slow fill of the needle—draining dark venous blood from the boy's arm. It was such an effortless action that he wasn't even paying attention to the needle anymore. Multitasking meant spending less time being scowled at by an idiot kid who was sitting on edge because he was about to get his ass verbally handed to him.

It had been five days total since this little fool had decided to be a doctor and start shooting up other people with his own life blood. Now that he was roused and cognizant, he and the other two were going to get quickly fixed on the way things were going to work. This was a new thing they were dealing with, but boundaries needed to be drawn and set if they were to have any chance of not getting caught.

"M…Master, can you pleas—"

"Allen." It was all he had to say and both of them knew it. Allen wasn't as dumb as he pretended to be and while he had a rebellious streak—he also had a lot of fear for that particular look the redhead could shoot him.

Shrinking in his seat, Allen squeaked a tiny response, "shutting up now."

This roused Kanda's hot temper and he snapped his head in Allen's direct—eyes blazing at the way he cowered back. They were all in trouble, the least Allen could do was man-up about it. "What the fuck, beansprout. Are you going to let him just eat you alive like that?"

"…Yes."

"Are you fuckin' kidding me?" The Asian man's voice held a steady exasperation as returned to watch Cross finish drawing the samples. "And why the fuck are you drawing more blood? Didn't you get enough the last time you had me laid out?"

"I need it for a different reason this time, you little ingrate. Why don't you leave the thinking to the people who can at least count to twelve without fingers _and_ toes." Without another word, Cross pressed his fingers down on the needle mark—waiting for the few seconds it would take for it to close up before he backed away and stashed his samples.

"Quite treating me like I'm some kind of du—"

"Be quite," Cross interjected, tapping the glass of the syringe and packing it away once he'd turned from the bratty boy. "You are some kind of dumbass. After all, it takes a dumbass to get into this position to begin with."

"I already told you that it isn't fair to hold us accountable. It wasn't like we were at risk!"

"Says the mommy-to-be." One honey colored eye turned on Kanda and noted the way his face slowly began to flush red again—this time not from his temperature being too high. It's okay, mommy, at least you're not lactating. The Innocence decided to spare you that embarrassment. But I'm sure it'll make up for that when you're screaming labor pains."

Kanda's mouth snapped shut and he nearly kicked the bastard in the ass when he'd turned. That was a low blow and playing on his deeply hidden fear of what would happen later down the road now that they realized what was coming. It was one of those things that he desperately tried not to really think about because if he did he might crumble. The concept that five months into the future he could be dead really just…scared him if he was being truly honest. Which, of course, he would deny no matter what. "You're an asshole."

"Master Cross…Please…" Allen's weak voice returned and Kanda's eyes shifted over.

At first, Kanda was going to shoot off at the mouth to relieve the wave of sudden anxiety that overcame him, but once he realized that expression on the beansprout's face reflected his own, it shut him up very quickly. No doubt Allen was terrified. Probably more than he himself was and Allen would even admit it.

"I thought I told you to shut up over there? I believe you've contributed enough here, boy. Your input isn't useful."

For some reason, that drilled straight to Kanda's inability to shut his mouth and he snapped his tongue at Cross. "At least he's staying; unlike a certain assface, I'd imagine."

What he wasn't expecting, however, was that his sudden mouth-off would turn Cross around. The look the redhead shot him was almost venomous and he himself almost shrunk back—but he was way too stubborn and held his ground…Until Cross's arm swiped against his leg and left a sharp stab in his thigh. It took a moment. A long moment with his gaze feeling over the outline of the needle in his hand and it took another moment for his brain to realize that Cross had just injected something into his thigh. And it burned.

"What the fuck did you just do!?"

Allen was up and next to him in moments, despite the radiating warning being given off by his master. "…Master please…."

"It's a hormone shot. It was going in anyway. Your cute little commentary made it effortless and guilt free to stab it into you immediately. Not that guilt was my concern, actually. But regardless. This is to stabilize your fluctuations as the Innocence keeps setting up. Your body can only do the bare minimum and this was formulated specially for you. I spent a lot of hours and days with my nose in books, making sure this wouldn't harm you. So before you decide to cut the knife too deep with abandonment commentary, let's remember that I'm here to keep you alive so you two can keep your hell spawns and continue doing what you over-sexed teenagers do."

Of course, Allen's concern skyrocketed despite the apparent control of his master. "What if you'd hit a nerve!? Or what if you'd injected the wrong place!"

"Oh? Like I didn't have that already predetermined. Unlike a certain child who recklessly flooded my apprentice with un-typed blood."

This was Kanda's turn to take the stage of confusion, because the way Cross was…well, being cross with him, made him think he was actually being scolded. "…Wait, huh?"

"What blood type are you, girl?"

"…I am not a girl, motherfucker."

"I said, what blood type are you?"

"…Ah, AB I think."

"Wrong."

"…Wrong? What the fuck do you mean wrong. I think I would know my own fucking blood type. I grew up in a lab for fuck sak—"

"You have no prerecorded blood type, boy." The fiery haired general leaned back in his chair and thumbed through a stack of papers that were sitting beside the fresh vials of blood. "They made information up about you for your official record. They couldn't well have some nameless, informationless brat running around with a dangerous weapon and a chip on his shoulder. I made a few calls and I wrote down all the actual information about you. And you know what I found?" The rhetorical question was followed up by a nearly blank sheet being dropped in Kanda's lap.

The Asian boy stared down at a neatly written list of information that was relevant to Kanda. There was some garbage about various past records and injuries, but as far as actual physical information, there was next to nothing. His name "Yuu". His blood type and nationality were both considered "unknown" and his birth date was considered…unofficial? Heights and weights were solid, but there were no records before his supposed "tenth" year. Yeah, that made sense given his past and the complexity of it, but even so… There was really nothing concrete? Even he was led to believe some of the things he was told about himself.

"I was baffled, actually, why someone with your blood was coming down to such a feverish degree from a few lost vials—which wasn't hard to determine you did. So I thumbed through what I could and had a private discussion with Komui about your past information. Given that, I took the last samples of blood I'd taken and used them in conjunction with Allen's. I watched your blood actually disperse into Allen's and dissipate after rejuvenating the red cells from my idiot apprentice's blood."

"So what? That's normal for my blood."

"Not for a frozen sample, idiot boy. And not for the fact that you have no recorded blood structure we've ever seen. Your blood is so potent at the moment that it revived dead cells in a tube. Taking any of that out of you is actually taking away from your life. If you bleed too much, you will die of organ failure. Additionally, back to the point I was making, you could have killed Allen too."

A cold shot ran down his spine at the very thought. He hadn't exactly considered anything other than what his blood had once healed Marie, so he really didn't…think… Oh fuck. No wonder they didn't tell him anything. "I…"

"Yes. Coming to you now? If it wasn't for the fact that your blood is actually pretty special, your "AB" listed blood could have killed him. Fortunate for you, you are both freaks of nature and his Innocence reacted to pull your blood through him—recognizing it as a healing agent." A sly smirk crossed his face and he turned it back on Allen. "And you were saying how I could have hurt him? His blood would attack anything I did to him instantly. Though, it's extremely limited to bigger injuries. You'll heal a paper cut. But if you way, slice your wrist open…you're probably done for."

"And we're going to treat you as a hemophiliac as a result," another voice added to Cross's explanation. It was crisp, informative and very much Komui when he was in his serious mode. Neither of the boys had noticed Komui's entrance, but Cross wasn't there to tell them to pay attention to their surroundings. Komui couldn't sneak in on him, especially with Lavi tagging behind him, which was why he didn't jump at the sudden voice just behind him. "And General Cross, I thought you were waiting for me so we could explain this?"

"I didn't explain the bulk of what you wanted. Just the little details of stupid kids shouldn't go around shooting up lovers with things they don't understand or don't have any smarts in their head enough to do it."

Kanda stared up at Komui from where he was. He was suddenly feeling horrifically trapped where he was. Cross wasn't the one who would beat around the bush and he'd had this coming the moment he thought he could play doctor—though to his credit it had worked. Perhaps that was the one little moment of faith he'd had. He'd believed Allen was going to be okay and he didn't even hesitate to do it. If he hadn't, Allen would still be unconscious and Cross would never have learned these things he was now scolding him so hard on. So he considered it a battle won even if he was going to be bitched at about risk taking and how he put lives at risk.

Fuck them. Without beansprout, his life didn't really mean much at that point and it was worth the risk.

Some part of him toiled at the realization of just what that meant. He was actually feeling some degree of pride in his devotion. What the hell.

"If you're done insulting my intelligence, say what you have to say, so I can go the fuck back to sleep," he finally grunted—no longer wanting to be in the vicinity of anyone other than Allen.

Komui moved through the room, turning only long enough to command Lavi to take a seat in the center with the rest of them. They were in considerable trouble, but at the same time, Komui was relieved. That all three of them were able to sit there and even be scolded meant that no one was harmed beyond ability to do so. Of course, that didn't get any of them off the hook. "I'll do my best to make this as brief as possible, Kanda. I'm sure Cross explained a thing or two to you already. The fact that you did that behind our backs was not only dangerous to you, him as well. That, of course, goes back to Lavi telling you in the first place," Komui shot the redhead a quick look and Lavi turned his head—hiding in his blind spot.

"You know," Kanda spoke in the brief moment Komui had paused for breath. He had reasons for his actions and he wasn't going to shut up this time. "That was pretty fucked up that you didn't have the courtesy to tell me. I thought about it on and off when I finally woke up again and that's just plain fucked up of both you. All you had to fuckin' do was tell me he was back and alive."

"And if I had, would you have been less likely to get up and do what you did?"

"No. But then you'd have known the probability of me doing it and I wouldn't have had to fucking wonder for weeks. Is that really all that fuckin' much to ask?"

This time it was Cross who addressed Kanda directly. His single eye fell over him—as if analyzing him. "Just how serious is this little thing between the two of you?"

"…M…master!"

"Allen, shut up before you're excommunicated from this room. My question is very valid. Stupid kids do stupid things; however, if this isn't simple a stupid affixation in light of silly raging hormones, then this changes things significantly."

Falling silent for a moment, Kanda had to think of how to answer that one. He could easily speak on behalf of Allen. Allen was essentially glued to him and despite the behavior that Allen showed toward him with the others around…he himself hadn't made any indication that he was as committed as Allen. Without being direct, Cross was asking him how secure he was in his relationship with Allen. It was an awkward question from Cross when he thought about it down at core of its meaning. Cross was asking him if he cared about Allen—a question he thought should be obvious.

A strange thought crossed his mind as he locked gazes with the redheaded bastard who didn't seem to give him a damn break for anything. It was a thought he was sure others would laugh at him for, but the look and seriousness he was getting out of Cross in that particular moment made him believe it, regardless.

"If you're making a reference to my apparent disregard for his safety, then take a look at him. He's alive. He's fine. And he's not leaving me again if I have to break his legs to keep him stationary," while he was fairly certain he'd never get away with keeping Allen with him the entire rest of the time—he just felt it necessary to say it. He needed to feel secure in Allen's presence, even if just for a little while.

For a moment, he was worried Cross was going to expect more than that from him. That he was going to want more solid of an answer and more direct; but the man turned his gaze off him and Kanda breathed again. He was not about to have an emotional confessional in the middle of what was supposed to be scolding for his behavior—behavior that he really felt justified in.

"Very well. Komui, I'll need to speak with you later on this. For now, Allen, you're to stay with him at all times. He's your responsibility. If he's injured, it could lead to complications. His blood is very valuable and like I said before, he's to be treated like a hemophiliac. Any major bleeding needs to be brought to us right away. I'll be testing your blood and I'll need you back soon so I can take more small samples. There will be none of this sneaking around alone. There will be none of this moping around either. If something is wrong with you, you will speak if you want to live. Your immune system crashed because of your inability to speak. Which, I will be addressing the Bookman Jr. at a later time about not coming to us."

"Don't you think you should have been paying attention as well, since you seem to care enough to bark commands at us."

"Kanda, just stop."

"No, Allen," Kanda growled at the boy—who was too dumbstruck by the sound of his name on Kanda's tongue to protest further. "These two said they were going to be the ones monitoring my health. I'm not going to know when something is wrong. They would, so why am I the one in the most trouble here? Why am I even being lectured in the first place? I'll give my stupid decision that woke Moyashi up, but I will not accept blame for the way I reacted because you assholes didn't even think to inform me of the status of the other half of these brats in my body! For that matter, it's hardly Usagi's fault either. To ask a Bookman to monitor someone's emotional status is about the stupidest thing I'd have ever heard."

_Emotional status, huh_… Allen thought, watching Kanda getting himself riled up again. He was going to fight them until he was blue in the face, because he really didn't think he was wrong. That much was obvious. Kanda would always defend his actions and really, Allen owed his health to Kanda's brash decision. He also owed the good feeling welling in his chest to Kanda as well. He may not ever say it, but he did care and he showed it in the stranger ways.

"You make a lot of good points, Kanda," Komui slid back into the conversation as Cross began to pack away his things. The tall scientist kneeled a bit before Kanda, trying to keep a neutral expression. "But the facts remain that you'll need to be settled into a less untamed routine. You can't just get up in the middle of the night and move around. If you'd fallen, then what would have happened? With your body as fragile as it is, if you break something or bleed excessively, you may die from it. You can feel that too. I know you can. I know you can feel the weakness in your body. As much as it does benefit us now that Allen is awake and able to assist you, it was extremely dangerous with as little as we know. From now on, I want you to see Cross daily—just to ensure that you're not slipping into territory we can't bring you back from."

"Wait…you want me to see Cross's ugly mug every day? This is your punishment for me!?"

"Ugly mug? Little girl, I hope you're not mistaking your reflection for me."

"I'd hard to confuse that big bastard face of yours," Kanda shot back a scathing look. He didn't like the idea of being tormented verbally by Cross every day. It was bad enough they were in that position—having it rubbed in just wasn't needed.

"Now, now. A young _mother _shouldn't speak such unflattering words."

"You son of a bitch—"

"Come on you guys….stop it…" Allen interjected, only to have both of them turn their hard expressions on him. He quickly put his arms up and backed away from the scathing bantering that only meant that this was going to be a very long handful of months. He sucked in a remorseful breath at the foreseeable stress; but ultimately there was a smile beneath it. Reckless or not, the man did care and even if Kanda was going to be scolded endlessly for it, Allen still was glad he did it anyway.

It meant that there was more than physical attraction involved.

It gave Allen hope.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: That horrible moment when you almost forget your login info. I know, it's been a while. And that's mainly because I've done a 360 with my schedule. And I mean that literally. I flipped my entire sleep pattern into a daylight schedule, then accidentally flipped it right back. Oops. So I'm back to where I started. Anyway, I hope to get back into the swing of things soon. For anyone who actually follows Cacophony, I haven't forgotten that one, I'm actually planning it for Nanowrimo in November to finally get that bitch rolling. I need to get my writing muses back. _

_Anyway, I think I about died when I saw a review on this from the author of one of my favorite fics. So uh yeah. You guys should go read Veracity. Best fic. _

_SOrry if I'm being a SlAcKeR. I suck dicks, but usually not this much. _


	20. Memory

**Incubation **  
><em>Part 20<em>

Whether it was the wind and steady drum of the rain, or his own body that kept Kanda slumbering peacefully at his side, he didn't know—but he did know that his dark haired partner had finally returned to a constant resting state. The previous days since he'd been able to really see Kanda again had featured the stubborn Asian make refusing prolonged rest. His argument, of course, had been that all he'd done in Allen's absence was sleep. Not that his statement regarding that was untrue; but Allen didn't really deem it sufficient enough of a reason to not pester him into resting as frequently as he really needed. Kanda's body was doing him no favors, so he really was pleased to see him as he was—curled beside him.

Admittedly, the steady storm brewing outside had nearly put him to sleep as well. It was his thoughts alone that kept him from joining Kanda in the state of unconscious drifting. If anything,_ he_ really _had_ slept too much. Constantly by the other's side, Allen had taken to Kanda's sleep pattern and it was starting to look like a bad thing—given that Kanda slept for most of the day if allowed. The other half of the day was spent listening to Kanda gripe about not being able to do the things he could before. It seemed some things weren't going to change; but really, Allen preferred it that way. It was the Kanda way.

He gave his attention to the stained glass window, watching drops of rain slide down the panels. The way midday light poured into the room, made it seem like colored spots of light were being painted along the cold brick walls. It gave the room a calming feeling: both in physical delight of a serene atmosphere and mental refreshment from everything stressful and hectic. In truth, this was the perfect thinking weather, and thinking seemed to be the only activity he really felt like doing when he was accompanying his sleeping lover.

Besides, he really couldn't see himself knitting sweaters or anything.

His mind drifted itself to many things; but as always, the thoughts ended up turning right back around to Kanda. It should be embarrassing just how much he thought about him, but it wasn't like he could really help it anymore. That especially held by the fact that Kanda was carrying his child…children. Warmth flourished in him when he thought about it. It was both a terrifying and wonderful thought. It was terrifying because he really had no idea what he was doing and there was Kanda's life somewhere at stake. Then it was wonderful because it was something completely theirs and apparently 'god' hadn't damned them for it. Actually, the thought of his tiny unborn children left him with feelings that he didn't dare reflect on his face where Kanda could see—because Kanda would have an aneurysm to see just how…happy it made him.

There was no solid reason why, either. He just was. Perhaps he the one taking whatever their relationship was a bit too seriously, but it was because he really wanted it to be. Even from the beginning, he could admit to a selfish desire to have Kanda and it probably made him some kind of super masochist—because it wasn't a secret that Kanda was mean, especially toward him. The unforgiving and cutting personality had been what captured Allen, though. This was someone who wasn't beating around the bush or pretending nothing was wrong. Because there was always something wrong with Kanda and he made damn certain all of his gripes were known. Unnecessary feelings and thoughts weren't gushed without deep thought and self validation, though. Kanda was careful, meticulous and guarded. He was essentially everything Allen wasn't.

From the very beginning it had sparked interest, but playing with fire is only fun when there was some degree of control of a sanctioned flame. Kanda was a wildfire; blazing and dangerous.

It wasn't until their missions had led them back together, travelling to Saudi Arabia—where they had spent at least two weeks in each other's wanted and unwanted company that it turned into anything less than sizzling hatred. Kanda didn't want to be with him. He didn't want to exist around Allen. However, Allen had wanted to be around him. He wanted to be in the presence of the beautiful, yet frightening exorcist.

Thinking back on it, he wondered how he would have reacted if someone had come from the future and told him that he would end up in such a predicament with Kanda. He'd probably laugh and then quickly beg the person never to speak such things again in case Kanda heard them and thought it was something he was saying. Back then, or rather before then, he was pretty sure Kanda would have rolled him on the floor and sliced him up like Sushi.

He supposed that it was most fortunate that they had been stuck in the bone dried ravine after the Akuma attacked them. Well, at the time he didn't think it was so fortunate and neither did Kanda because the dark haired exorcist was the one who broke his fall after they tumbled a couple dozen feet down into a deep crack in the earth. He was pretty sure he heard a snap when he landed on Kanda and to that very day, that man still swore Allen didn't actually break any of his bones.

The truth had to be that Kanda just really didn't want to admit he broke bones to save Allen from dying of that fall. Unlike Kanda, Allen probably wouldn't have been able to get up after a fall at the velocity they dropped down. In fact, Allen still blacked out and he had a cushion of Kanda's body under him. Though, he was certain Kanda was just trying to get Allen off his back after hours of him haggling him to make sure he was alright.

That was just how Allen was. He didn't think he would ever get to a point where he didn't haggle people about their safety when it was obviously a thing to be questioned, but even less with Kanda—and especially now…now that he really had fallen into a deep, dark and never ending pit of affection for the man. It was actually kind of funny, all things considered…that he compared it to falling into a deep, dark anything—because they really had fallen into a deep, dark something.

Sometimes he wondered if Kanda ever thought about that. The several days they spent stuck together in the deep ravine—walking, hiking and trying to find a spot they could climb out—were really trying on both of them at the time. Both of them were injured—though Kanda progressively better as the days passed—and neither of them were feeling very enthusiastic about coming out to the middle of nowhere only to find no actual Innocence. His 'partner' was in a constant state of agitation and he himself really couldn't stand the silence. It was a deadly combination, because every time he spoke it would piss the Asian man off. That, of course, resulted in nothing but arguments and bickering that would last until they would eventually find the next place to lean up on and crash.

It was funny, thinking about it then, because now Allen was more than happy to hear Kanda's silence if it meant sleeping. When they were stuck in that empty and mostly dark space, all he wanted was to hear Kanda. All he wanted then was for him to stay awake so he wouldn't feel alone. Now they were both as silent as the world around them. Though, this time it was under entirely different pretenses. They were comfortable and together as lovers instead of as enemies who had decided to get personal for the sake of filling the lonely void that they both some how realized the other had.

That's truly the only explanation that Allen had ever come up with for it. Kanda had been lonely—that much was so clear that it hurt. He was lonely too. But he wondered if Kanda knew that, or if he even cared. It didn't seem like something he could really care about, but there was so much he really still didn't know about him. The puzzle that his partner was, was one that he would be putting together…probably forever. Slowly, pieces revealed a fresh new part to him and Allen was glad to be the first to see it at least.

Just like when he made that one mistake of kissing him while he was swearing him off. That sort of silencing method was so lame that it hurt him now to think about—at the same time of it giving him a pleasant fond feeling at the memory. Just a handful of hours before they had finally reached a point they had been able to crawl out, he had just had enough of Kanda's attitude and he'd backed him up against the stone cliff wall. It had earned him a really strong left swing, but he didn't care—actually he was impressed Kanda's left was that strong of a hook.

Had that been what started this?

Hmm. Maybe not, maybe so. But it had been what started something. Well, he considered that what started everything. It was so vivid in his memory, anyway. Perhaps he was just over thinking it, but it had to have a reason for sticking in his mind. That entire mission had been something so outside of normal that he would stay fresh for a while, no matter what, anyway.

Three days walking a ravine had done a number on both of them mentally and physically. It brought a smile to his face, subconsciously, when he thought about their very first action once they had finally gotten to the closest town after that. Even as hungry as he was, he'd submitted to the warm embrace of the large bed that he and Kanda had to share. Not even the closeness with him had shaken Kanda out of his willingness to sleep at that moment. They were both too tired to give much of a damn and they were pretty much fed up with the coldness of the desert.

Part of him lamented that they had chosen the coldest part of the year to travel there and then get stuck in a snaking pit in the desert. It had felt like he was being slowly frozen…until the sun would come out and warm up just a bit…but really, not enough given that they were in a crack and hidden from the sun. That was one place he wasn't looking forward to going back to and definitely not in the hot months when he really thought they would die out there.

At the same time of lamenting it, he kind of thanked it. The two of them had slept curled up in the same bed because they were both nearly frozen and being that close to Kanda had been like some kind of weird dream. He felt like a creep just thinking about that. That he considered it to mean more than them just sharing a bed of necessity was something he was never going to tell Kanda. He could creep on Kanda all he wanted then, as they shared partnership; but before…that would be just about as off the wall as Kanda smiling.

Which, Kanda smiling was still off the wall.

He leaned against his arm, propped up on his knee and he lost himself in the pleasant thoughts that probably shouldn't be considered as pleasant as he thought them to be. Just the way everything played out, ultimately resulted in this and he regretted nothing. He didn't regret waking up, literally tangled with Kanda. Limbs curled unceremoniously and the two of them nearly molded together. Whether it was the warmth from being cold for so many days or just the way they both felt upon waking [or possibly mutual insanity], he really would never be able to determine…but they had woken up and stayed that way. Neither of them had recoiled and they just remained as they were, until they fell asleep again.

The second time they came back to reality, though. It didn't end that way. It ended up with much less clothing and a lot more heat between them. Allen was still not sure exactly how that happened or why. There was no way to really explain it away. There were no offhanded excuses he had either. At least when they woke up and innocently went back to sleep, he could just say they were both half asleep and thinking they were dreaming. But when they woke up and peeled away each other's clothing [and innocence], they pretty much tossed all reasonable explanation out the window.

Fortunately, they had been alone, so answering to someone else just wasn't in the equation anyway. It didn't change the fact that they could no longer explain it away to themselves. Somewhere along the way, Allen had stopped looking for excuses however; but Kanda was not one to come around easily. So while he had quickly accepted that he had slept with Kanda…well, his partner in crime was long time moping about it until it became impossible to pretend it hadn't happened…

…and impossible to resist doing it again.

And they did.

They did a lot.

It all seemingly started with sexual tension or some other kind of physical attraction, but he really believed that at the core it was a lot less primal. He knew he was attracted to Kanda's personality in some twisted way and Kanda had always seemed more electric around Allen. Lavi had once told him that Kanda never acted like that around others he didn't like. He was always cold and aloof; but for some reason, Allen was different.

The way Kanda burned under his fingertips was one of those things he would never forget. In the cool, stale room, they were on fire and smoldering together and it didn't feel any bit wrong at all. In fact, his body seemed to mold to Kanda's in just the right way and he thought at the time that even if it never happened again it was an experience that would remain branded into his body for a long time. Well, it turned out a long time actually meant forever for him; because even as he sat there in the bed—quietly thinking—he could remember the sensations on his skin.

Absently he ran his hand along Kanda's side. Just to feel him there by him. All because of one mission really and this was his. No matter how many times he really thought about it, it still seemed like too much of a stroke of luck for someone like him. Well, really it wasn't just the one mission—but that mission was the start. That mission opened the door and he let himself walk through and eventually he managed to bring Kanda through with him.

"Hmm," a sound erupted, shattering the serene silence of the room—yet it wasn't unwelcome. As much as he enjoyed the silence for thinking, he also enjoyed the sound of his lover stirring beside him. It didn't matter whether he was stretching to wake or just moving positions to fall back into a slumber; he always seemed to emit those low mumbling groans that Allen secretly thought were cute. With a smile, he left his hand warmly on Kanda's side, fingers sliding just a bit off his hip.

At some point, regrettably, he would have to wake Kanda and bring him to Cross for the usual check up. Today, he just wished he could curl with Kanda and his thoughts alone and forget about seeing that old man for one day. Just them together felt perfect. He felt a mixture of happiness and guilt. Guilt because he had this at that moment. He had something many others wouldn't have or would never have. It was probably something he didn't deserve, but that didn't stop the appreciation.

Motion at his side reminded him that Kanda was still likely to come back to reality and he waited to see if that was what was making him move. It appeared so, from the way Kanda started to inch up on the pillow—a strange trait of his that signaled return to consciousness.

It was actually more fortunate that Kanda stirred on his own as opposed to him having to wake him from a dead sleep. Kanda's once light sleep had become much deeper as time passed and he became a hell of a lot meaner upon waking—making Allen want to curl back every time he had to actually bring the sleeping beauty out from his peaceful slumber. "Kanda?" He whispered tentatively. "Are you awake?"

"No."

_Well that was a prompt response_, Allen chuckled to himself and rubbed the man's side again. "Oh well, I'll see you when you wake up then."

"If I don't kick you out of the bed," a low, mumbled response came from the fluffy end of a pillow. While the man couldn't lay face down directly, he seemed to find ample ways to twist his body so that he could get parts of him facing that direction. Though, Allen was sure he was going to suffer from kinks in his neck. To which, Allen would have to roll his eyes and listen to him complain about.

Really, he loved that though. He loved it more than anything. He loved it all so much that it hurt.

He loved Kanda so much that it hurt.

Leaning back against the wall, he snickered a bit at the way Kanda really looked like he'd just flopped over and laid there like a log. It was so sloppy and ungraceful and somehow cute to him. Of course, nothing about Kanda would ever be spoken as cute; but damned if he wasn't thinking it. "You can't kick me out of the bed facing that direction, Kanda."

"I do what I want," the grumble came back once more and Allen leaned a bit to see Kanda's face—eyes still closed and probably still more than half asleep.

"Is that so?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Kanda?"

"Yes..."

"I think you're still sleeping."

"Yes…"

"Kanda, no."

"Hmm, yes…"

He chuckled to himself, a little bit too amused by his ability to have a conversation with Kanda in his sleep. Of all things this man could and couldn't do, he learned that yes and no questions were his specialty while sleeping if he was caught in the right level of sleep. "I love you, Kanda."

"Hmmn…yeah…"

And Kanda turned a bit, laying more up on his pillow than he had before. So much for him waking up. Allen supposed he'd be having fun with the fire breathing pregnant dragon known as Kanda, later. For now…

He was just going to smile and watch the rain make colors dance across the room while Kanda muttered a few answers to nothing in his sleep.

Even if for just a moment, his reality was perfect.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hopefully I haven't lost anyone! Sorry for lack of updates. I'm planning to change that soon though. Incubation has become my NanoWriMo project. Hopefully I can pump out chapters during this next month. _

_On this particular chapter, I know there wasn't much in regards to dialogue, but I really wanted to give a little depth to their background without a "flashback". I hope this was the successful approach and I hope you guys are still enjoying it, even if I seem to take my sweet time! I can't believe this story has been reviewed over 500 times. You guys just all like to watch Kanda suffer too, don't you?_


	21. Sister

**Incubation **  
><em>Part 21<em>

"Kanda, I brought you some juice," a soft feminine voice broke the silence of the room that the subject in question had taken to hiding in. It wasn't very often that he was alone anyway; but when he was, he certainly didn't wish to be interrupted. That, of course, never stopped Lenalee from invading his personal space. He supposed he should appreciate the kind gestures; but really, he just wanted to crawl in a hole alone and hibernate until the nightmare ended. The only person he was still truly comfortable around was Allen and Allen was busy being Cross's test subject for any variety of reasons. Somehow, he was sure it involved a lot more pain on Allen's side than anything else.

"I'm not really in the mood for it," he exhaled and did his best not to show any semblance of an attitude toward her. Respect was one of those things he really tried to show toward women, but his brash personality often undermined him.

"You haven't really had anything today. Just drink a little, please? It's good for you and full of nutrients…"

"I'm already being stuffed full of nutrients, thank you. It's not that big of a deal." In truth, for just one moment, he wanted to ignore his current predicament. If he had thought he was uncomfortable before, then he wasn't even sure how he could arrange the words to describe how he was feeling right at that moment.

Rolling over and sleeping seemed to be his favorite means of escape, but he knew Allen would return shortly and he preferred to at least be awake when the beansprout would stroll in dejectedly, after an afternoon with Cross.

"You'll need all you can get, you know." Lenalee wasn't the type to be put off easily, really. Kanda knew that and he lamented it as he watched her saunter over to him with that commanding look.

"Augh, can't you lay off? You just got back and you're already jumping back into mother mode? Not to be the crass asshole, woman, but the only potential parent in this room isn't you."

"I know that, I'm not trying to parent you. I just worry. You have a bad history of not taking any care of yourself at all."

"I've never needed to worry about it, so I simply didn't bother. Even I know that it's different now."

The girl's soft eyes hardened once his words were finished and she put the glass out insistently, "then drink!"

"…Damn it, woman. I said I'm not in the mood."

"You don't have to be in a mood to drink juice, just to it! For me? For Allen? For the little ones?"

Something snapped when she spoke it like that. The idea wasn't new anymore, so he couldn't quite understand why it was still haunting him like it was. This was not what he was made for. He was a weapon. Not an…an incubator. He was so done with it already and yet, he couldn't deny that part of him submitted when he watched the beansprout's face during those times when he would be near gushing like the daddy he seemed born to be. The little shit actually had the nerve to make it seem appealing—well, appealing in a way that made him squirm a bit anxiously. Thinking about that made his lip curl and he begrudgingly took the glass and drank. She never said he had to be polite or slow about it; so without remorse for his appearance, he downed the liquid all at once—wiping his mouth before handing the empty glass back and giving her a weak glare.

"Ah! Kanda, I didn't mean…" She paused for an audible sigh, "Oh well, at last you drank it." It would be crazy of her to assume any other behavior of him, so she let it go quickly. After placing the glass on the table at the end of the bed, she decided to join him. His protests would be weak as usual, and she wouldn't be pushed away ultimately. That was just a power she had with Kanda, whether or not the man wanted to admit it. That was the result of many years being stuck as the two youngest people within the Order.

"What are you doing, woman?" He stared at her rather stupidly, watching her climb into his bed with him and curl up under the sheet beside him. He himself had just woken up, so he hadn't even gotten up for the day. She was really fortunate he decided to wear clothes to bed that particular time.

"I'm keeping you warm?" Of course it was accompanied by a sweet giggle and loving eyelash batting.

"And this is why I sleep with men. Stop looking cute. It's making me ill."

"Aww, you think I'm cute…But I'm probably sure that you're ill because of all that juice you drank in one breath."

"If I drank it in a breath, I'm pretty sure I would have drowned."

"You can't drown in a cup of juice, Kanda."

"Oh? Have you tried it? I bet you can."

"Stop being a big dummy," she chuckled and curled more against him—eyes staring off into the room for the thoughts she was having that led her there in the first place. Silence hung between them while she tried to figure out what to say to start. Admittedly, she was taking advantage of the pleasant mood that only seemed present after his daily medicine intake had fully set in. Allen had been kind enough to give her the forewarning. Though Kanda's good moods weren't what any normal person would call a good mood. They'd have to understand Kanda's strange mind. "Kanda, are you mad at me?"

"Wha…what?" Kanda blinked. That wasn't what he'd expected to hear come out of her mouth. He couldn't even begin to think of what he might be mad at her for. "Clarify."

"Er…Well…I didn't mean to find out before you…you know about _that_. It just, kind of happened. And…I feel like I betrayed your privacy."

"Is that what this is about? Woman, your brother is the moron who should feel the guilt. But it's apparent now that you would have found out regardless. At least this way I didn't have to actually see your initial reaction." That surely would have been ungodly embarrassing. As if seeing Moyashi immediately after learning it himself hadn't been bad enough.

"Even so…I'm sorry anyway…"

"Why are you apologizing to me?" He was genuinely confused at this point. He really didn't understand women, even one he grew up with. "I thought you had a thing for Moyashi. If anything, I figured you'd be mad with _me_."

Her face easily changed colors as she thought over his statement. Her and Allen? Well… "I…Maybe once did. But I moved past that. He was kind enough to give me a hint that he already had someone else in his thoughts. He never said who or even used pronouns. I never had suspected it was you, but now that I think about it, I'm not all that surprised."

"You're not? And why's that?"

"Because you two seem like, you know, you set each other off in ways no one else would. Especially you. You never react quite as strongly to others as you do to him. Even Lavi, who pisses you off more than any one else. You just don't react as passionately. It's almost like you've found someone on the same wavelength as you." Really, the thought brought a little smile to her face—because he never was very personal with others. She had actually started to worry if he would ever connect with anyone. She supposed that he showed her, because he'd been doing just that right under her nose.

"Tch, he just doesn't know how to back off."

"Haha! So it's all Allen's fault then?"

"Of course it's moyashi's fault. He's the emotional turd bucket here."

"Turd bucket, hmm? Well, you seem to not mind him too much, for being at fault. You spend most of your time with him from what I've been told," she mused as she ran fingers through his long silky hair. He wouldn't mind; that much she knew for certain. In all the years they'd known each other, her fingers had brushed his well kept hair more times than either of them could count.

"Let me guess, your boyfriend yapped at you about everything that happened? Stupid bastard can't keep his trap shut, so that doesn't surprise me," he scoffed and shifted under the blankets, feeling a bit warmer than he really wanted to. That was just another thing he was trying to adjust to. His temperature did what it wanted, when it wanted, and didn't really care how he felt about it. The Innocence wasn't really concerned for anything but keeping the brats alive. Naturally, that was making it a bit difficult to function—and it was the primary reason he hadn't even gotten out of his bed. He suspected he wouldn't be allowed to wallow in it for much longer, though—even if Lenalee's body, flushed up to his, really felt comfortable. Unlike Lavi's sugary hyper energy, hers was still sweet, but not rushing at him uncomfortably. Her affection was less out of control and she seemed to sift off the right amount to keep him from wanting to roll away.

"W…what did you say?" The look he caught on her soft rounded face nearly made him smirk at her. Perhaps that was cruel to poke at her, but he really wasn't all that blind. He knew more than most people suspected and while he had other suspicions for a long time, it became more apparent lately. "I said, your boyfriend probably blurted his mouth off."

"K…Kanda, I don't have boyfriend."

"Yep, and neither do I."

"Except you do! And besides, you yourself said you thought I had a thing for Allen!"

"I never said I still think you have a thing for him. I think we already passed the obvious mark on that. Though, I do think the other things now. Just be careful. If you end up pregnant, Komui will kill every male in a ten kilometer radius with exception to possibly me and moyashi."

Dark eyes widened, accentuating a deep flush to soft cheeks and Lenalee lifted a hand to pinch his cheek rather hard for even saying such a thing out loud. That wouldn't…that would never happen like that. She would never be so careless knowing it could happen to her. "That's not even funny, Kanda! We haven't even…I'm more responsible than you and Allen!"

"_Hey._ It's not like we thought this could happen. We're **men**. So it shouldn't have happened to begin with. Cut me some damned slack." He grumbled, feeling the twist of an invisible knife before his mind turned back on and started processing data that she kindly handed to him. "Hold on, you just said _we_. So I was right!"

"…Sh…shut up, big jerk," she rolled into him and her her face into his shoulder. "It's not anything serious yet anyway. Just friends…"

"Just friends, my ass. Moyashi and I weren't even friends."

"Okay, maybe a little more than friends, but not like you and Allen!"

"Yeah because you're not knocked up, that's the difference."

Lenalee watched Kanda from the corner of her eye, where she could catch the details of his profile better. Every twitch of muscle along the contours of his face was under her analytical gaze now. "Are you saying that you love Allen?"

"Are _you_ saying that you love Usagi?"

There was no answer and she just bit her lip. She saw what he did there and the direction that had quickly taken. He'd backed them both into a corner and now neither of them were going to say more on it. At that point, she wasn't sure what she felt, but she knew it was there. She also knew that Kanda and Allen's mutual feelings were beyond that by far, even if it wasn't spoken of. It almost made her a little jealous. That was something that didn't even need words. Most of the time, they didn't even seem to like each other; but anyone who knew either of them could see it nearly plainly. Well, at least she could.

"What are you planning to name them, Kanda?" She blew the topic right out of the window and started on something new. She couldn't keep the direction they were going and Kanda was probably thankful that she wasn't the type who refused to back down. The boys were the fighting dumb ones. It was her nature to cave when it was more beneficial.

"I'm leaving all that mess up to Moyashi. He's the one who cares more about names." A lazy dismissive wave came with it, like he had no intention to really think on it.

"Aw, you're not even going to name one? They're your babies too! You should at least think of stuff like this. You can't be that bad at naming things." Without permission, her arm snaked across his front, curling around him. For a moment, he almost protested profusely, but when the steady waves of her energy hit him; he couldn't even force himself to shoo her off. It was just Lenalee anyway. She was okay.

Instead, he just let a sigh free and stared back up at the ceiling. "I'm already giving up my body for it. A name is something Moyashi can fret about while I'm suffering the shit that comes with this."

"You know... I'll admit, Kanda. That I'm still a bit surprised. You're taking this a little better than I would have thought. I was sure you'd protest it until the end. You must really care about Allen to submit to it."

"Wha—"

"And the fact that you're even in this position at all! Just…I think it's really sweet that you let him be dominant over yo—eeeeEP!"

This time, Kanda actually sat up a bit, leaning over her with what little mobility he had. She squeaked at him and curled because she could see that glint in his eyes and knew what it would mean. Sure enough, she writhed under his cruel fingers, teasing at her sensitive sides until she was erupting into giggles and begging for him to stop. It had been so many years since they'd been like this just for the sake of it. Part of her felt really guilty about being glad for it. She had missed him.

"Now hush, woman, or I'm kicking you out." An empty threat and they both knew it. He submitted to flopping back on his pillows—inclined so he didn't feel suffocated by the extra baggage—and letting her remain huddled up in a mess of blankets.

"Come on, Kanda," she recovered enough to wiggle out and prop herself up with him. "I'm going to be an aunt, can't I be excited?" Small hands clapped together, and the petite girl moved over him to place a sweet kiss on his cheek. He really couldn't tell if she was teasing him or being sincere. "Try to be more positive."

"I'm being as positive as I can stand to be. This isn't fun."

"No. Maybe, it's not. But we're here for you," she poked him in the forehead and crawled out of the bed, sliding from under the blanket and brushing her clothes. It wasn't in her plans to leave him just yet, but he needed to eat and she did have the power to force him to do just that. "Now, I'm going to go scavenge some food for you and you will eat it. Okay?"

"No."

"Yes," she smiled and waved after fixing her hair to look less fluffed. With a pleasant turn, she moved back toward the entrance of the room. She felt so much better now. Knowing he wasn't mad at her made her feel more energetic—which was strange, given that she had actually been able to feel his body pulling energy _from_ her. "You need as much as you can get now. Because it'll get harder later when you have no energy and less motivation to stock pile. Trust me. I'm reading up on this for you. Well as much as I can given odd circumstance. I will be your midwife!"

It was as if Lenalee knew exactly what was on the little list he had in his mind of things he never wanted to hear. Because that was really high up there in things he wanted to erase from his brain's record of having heard it. A midwife. She was volunteering herself to be something he shouldn't ever need. It made him turn and roll on to his side, facing the wall with a disgruntled snort.

"Kanda…" A pitying smile remained and she stepped back to the edge of the bed and placed her hand against his shoulder, rubbing her thumb at his back. "I promise I won't be that bad, okay? It could be worse. You could still be stuck with Lavi."

That _was _true…He really had no desire to spend much more time with the red head after all those weeks. He'd had his momentary fill of him. While silently, somewhat appreciative; Kanda still had his preferences and all of them led him away from Lavi.

"Anyway, I'm going to go get food. I'll be back in a little. I'll try to be quick, but I think Allen might beat me back here at this rate." She stepped away once more, walking backwards until she made it to the door. He didn't move so she assumed it was safe to go and she whipped around and turned the handle to lead her back into the hall.

"Wait."

And she stopped, looking over her shoulder. "Yes?"

"…I…" A grunt, followed by rustling sheets led to Kanda sitting back up and leaning against the wall a bit so he could face her even if a bit crookedly. "I have to go back in town some time before I'm not really able to move around. For clothes. I...really…do not want to go with that idiot again…"

The urge to gush at him or crawl back over and hug him to her was strong, but she simply remained where she was, hiding the melting of her heart with a smile. He was asking her to shop with him and it was stupid, but she really felt privileged that he would actually ask her for something. "Don't worry about it, Kanda. We can go any time you feel up to it. Now, you rest and I'll be back, okay?"

"…Yeah."

As she shut the door behind her, she really held on to the positive feelings. She knew she may need them to give to Kanda when he eventually would crash down—but if anyone could do it, it was him. For sure. He and Allen.

**To Be Continnued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry for the delay friends~. But good news to be had, Nanowrimo is doing big favors for this story and I've managed to complete 6 chapters for this this week. I'll take me a while for editing and I'll be writing as much as possible until I reach my goal. So you guys can expect at least weekly updates or more, depending on my backlog~_

_I keep worrying that I'm straying in my consistency and quality, but no one has really told me much otherwise and my quality checker hasn't scalped me yet. So I hope you guys enjoy~_


	22. Unraveled

**Incubation **  
><em>Part 22<em>

"Ow."

"Quit whining."

A protesting groan was the immediate response and a hand lazily swatted at the larger, more insistent one. "I just woke up and you're already poking at me with things. Stop pressing there, it fucking hurts, you old goat."

"It shouldn't hurt, that's why I'm pressing it."

"That's stupid, why would you press it more, if you know _hurts me_?"

The bigger man ignored the looks he was receiving and he merely pushed the boy back until he was laying flat again. Every time he pushed himself back up he was only setting himself up to hurt more. The constant pressure on his middle wasn't going to go away and there was no sense in agitating it more. Even though he wasn't far enough along for a normal female to be really showing much, he was already obvious enough that he needed to be careful about being in public. The hardened muscle was stretched, tight and fairly flush in temperature to his bare fingers. There was really no doubt about the brat's condition. Though, it was concerning him that there was pain lingering. If he was theorizing correctly, the pain should have only remained while the Innocence was accommodating the offspring.

Those were not things he was planning to say out loud, however. He needed to consult with Komui before he started telling this young man that something seemed wrong—even worse if something like that got back to Allen. The last thing he really wanted to deal with was Allen's big bleeding heart putting stains all over his freshly pressed coat. He had enough trouble with Kanda.

"Have you eaten today?"

"Yes."

"No you haven't," he corrected without even looking up from his task area. Cross was positively certain that this was embarrassing the younger male. The way his face was turning red couldn't just be from being mad. Granted, it was without question that he was probably a little angry too; but not enough to account for what was essentially a blush on the kid's face. Perhaps he was even cruel for describing it as such, but for as long as this kid was his patient; he would have to deal with the fact that he viewed him as a sniveling, blushing girl until he proved he wasn't. Much in the same way he saw Allen as a wobbly little weasel still waiting for his chance to experience the better rewards of puberty.

Of course, this had some what pushed Allen a little more into masculine territory. Even if he was equivalent to an untamed hairball, he had still managed to procreate with another man. While it wasn't really masculine behavior, it did cement in the fact that Allen was physically grown enough to be considered a man.

That being said, Cross Marian was at a loss for what to make of Kanda. With no real way of gauging him by virtues of manhood, he submitted to everything but female pronouns. Female pronouns might have been a stretch. It was fairly obvious that calling him 'mommy' enraged him enough.

"If you knew I hadn't eaten, then why the hell did you bother asking me to begin with? If I'm not actually needed at this checkup, then I can sleep while you fondle on what you need to fondle on."

"Perhaps snapping at me is unwise, girl," he cut back and pressed his fingers into the spot just above Kanda's hip—where they would normally be pressing just inside the bone of his hip.

"…AHn. Stop that. That really hurts."

"How long has this been hurting?"

"Not long. It feels like it changes spots. It was hurting a little higher before. But it goes away and hurts somewhere else. It's not crippling or anything."

"Crippling or not, you should have spoken up about this. I don't exactly have a lot of methods to make sure your insides are okay, but I do have Komui working on a device to assist us a little. Until we can test its efficiency, I can't pin point exactly what's doing it. It's too precise of a thing. So your mission today is to leave and go feed your young before you all drop dead of nutrient deficiencies. Then, you need to find a place to rest. Sit up and try not to roll on that particular side too much, understand? I'll send Allen after you, shortly. So go to Jerry."

The redhead finally put space between them and Kanda stared down his distorted body to make certain he wasn't being tricked again. Once he was sure that Cross wasn't just messing with him for the sake of it, he pushed himself to sit up—pulling his shirt back down and letting it hang loosely over his body. It was easier to hide under large draping cloth, than with a sadistic asshole exposing his bare skin to the chilled air. It was, unfortunately, drawing closer to the cold season and this was both good and bad for him.

It was bad because he was freezing cold when he wasn't able to register the temperatures. It often took until he was shivering before he could recognize that he needed to bundle up. This was blamed on his own body temperature screwing with him and making everything feel hot when it wasn't. Conversely, the cold weather was good _because_ he was to hot all the time. Some how, he didn't think hot flashes came this strong with normal pregnancies, but he had been warned ahead of time this could be drastically different when it all came down to it.

It made it complicated, because he didn't really know what to expect. When he finally managed to get semi-comfortable with one thing, he would get attacked with others. When he was spewing his guts all over the place, at least he could predict it. Now he was feeling that less, but he was also having ridiculous cravings on top of inability to find comfortable ways to do things he did before because little things ticked him.

He couldn't eat a meal without fretting over stupid things like food texture and it wasn't like he was just being finicky. It was actually giving him little bouts of anxiety and thinking about certain things would make him shift from whatever position he was currently trying to be comfortable in. It was just plainly ridiculous, but it wasn't something he felt he needed to share. If anything, he thought that would make Cross scoff at him and he wasn't in the mood for Cross's shit anymore. His agitation level was very touchy and always teetering on the edge around that man.

When it became apparent that Cross was no longer intending to speak to him, he managed to bring himself to a standing position. It was getting to be a pain just to do that—but not really from the exhaustion. It was more because of stiffness. Just the way he felt like he'd been blown up to the point of combusting, was making him grumble while he shuffled toward the door.

In truth, he wasn't even so obvious that he couldn't still freely move about the complex. In fact, while he was wearing his loose Asian styled garbs, he could even walk tall and like there was nothing wrong. That was also assuming he could manage to balance that—which he wasn't quite so successful if he didn't want his back to hurt. So he bowed back just a little; but other than that slight change of stature, he liked to believe he was convincingly normal. Not many people really got a chance to see him anymore, but if they happened to cross his path, he wasn't going to be interrogated for his current condition. Some of the people were even under the assumption he took missions when he seemed to just vanish for days.

His surroundings didn't really mean much to him anymore, for this reason. All he was seeing lately were these walls. The same, stupid, brick walls that seemed to cement the doomed feeling in his chest; doomed in the fact that he was essentially handing over his life in one way or another. One way, he dies and literally hands over his life; another way, he hands it over to brats he shouldn't have. He almost felt like he could handle this, but the product…the product of it was making him nervous. Change was never something he couldn't handle, but this was something of a huge change.

Emphasis on huge.

Or maybe marginally sizable. Huge was still in the process. Not that he didn't still feel huge. When all he's ever been was trim and in perfect condition, any change really made him feel like he was largely distorted.

Distorted and still going to add to it by eating the first thing he could find. Cross got on his case about it, but he couldn't justify arguing this time because it was three against one anyway. He was far outnumbered by the redheaded asshole and his two body renters.

As hungry as he was, though, he didn't have the energy to rush and he just sidled along out of Cross's territory and finally into the kitchen—using the key that had been given to him by Komui. There was a feeling of alienation that came with that, no longer being able to use the dining hall the same way he did before; but at the same time, it was nice not to have to listen to the morons that had tendencies to run their mouths.

Unfortunately, everything came with a price.

"Hm? Who's ther—oh hello there sugar," a cheerful voice, strangely masculine and tender at the same time, called the moment he'd shut the door behind him. "You must be hungry to come here yourself, sit down baby and let me cook you up some tasty treats."

Stiffly, he shuffled in and tried not to make eye contact. Usually, he was with someone or food was brought with him or something, anything else. Being alone with Jerry frightened him just a little and not because he was afraid of Jerry knowing—the man already knew—he was afraid of the cook's gushing side to rear its head and that would be even worse than Allen. Allen he could handle. Jerry…Jerry he respected a little more than Allen on a base level of Jerry being a killer cook. Allen wasn't a good cook of anything.

Though Allen was significantly more useful for other things. Things is murdered libido didn't even get to take advantage of anymore.

It was interesting watching the man cook though. For being as off the wall and flamboyant as he was, he was skilled in his trade and Kanda found himself following his movements as time slipped and silence kept comfortably.

Then he made a grave mistake.

"What are you cooking?"

"Well honey, I'm cooking a combination of sautéed vegetables, mixed with fresh herbs and marinated beef. There's also fish cooking, though I can't serve it to you, darling. Too much of this fish can make you ill and we can't have that now can we?" The way the man's eyes turned on him made him shrink back a bit. It was like his question had finally garnered the attention he wasn't really wanting—but at the same time, he really wanted the food he was watching the Indian man stir up. It was looking like a horrible grin and bear it situation with significantly less grin and bears. That was a stupid idiom, he thought.

"What can I have?" And his answer was to play along, looking around at the different foods being prepared and really hoping he could just choose a little of each. Or maybe a lot of each.

Or maybe all of it if he could get Jerry to leave him in the kitchen alone for ten minutes. No, he wasn't that hungry…he didn't think. Maybe he was.

"I have something special cooking for you. Because we have to make sure you're getting all your nutrients for those little blessings of yours~. Which reminds me, how are you holding up sugar? You never come see me anymore and oh, you just used to love sitting by that counter waiting for your meal. Quiet little baby, but so precious. Now, you're still precious, but what a doll you were when you were so little…"

_Please stop. _

_Please. _

_Jerry, please_.

"I'm not little anymore…" That was the worst case of stating the obvious and he shook his head to try and knock out the temporary bewilderment that came with Jerry every time he attempted any degree of conversation. "And I'm fine."

"Now are you sure, sugar? You're looking so pale, have some water and let me get you something to snack on while I cook."

Protest had long since stopped being an option and he sat in the corner with his hands in his lap and watched Jerry bring him over things he didn't really want just then. However, much like the danger of a boa constrictor: the less he struggled, the less he'd be suffocated to death. Smile and nod—except with less smiling. Idioms were not his thing. Not at all.

With a glass of water in hand and what he was assuming to be apple chips—dried and strangely tasty—he kept his eyes following Jerry. The first chance of real food to present itself, he would take it and run. Dealing with the way people seemed to look at him when they were with him, and knowing about his situation, was becoming less and less easy. With Lenalee, it was acceptable. She was girly and motherly by nature. But when he got those dreamy eyes out of Allen, or the goofy excited gleam out of the red headed moron, it began to make him curl back with a slight hiss. Jerry was always flamboyant and outgoing, but he was even more boisterous and…careful in his presence.

He didn't want to be treated differently and he could have sworn he'd mentioned that at some point. Not that anyone was listening to him beyond his physical demands. If he wanted food, food was delivered. If he wanted to be treated like an adult who could take care of himself, he was fully ignored and bounced back between people so they could say he was always monitored.

That somewhat hurt his pride; but once he realized one of his hands had started to naturally fall over his front when he was sitting, he realized his pride was virtually non existent.

"Are you sure you're okay? You're awfully hot to the touch for being so pale."

Kanda blinked, staring up suddenly. When had Jerry entered his personal space? And touched him no less. The touch of his warm hand invaded his senses and he realized he'd missed that entirely. Didn't even notice the approach or the initial contact. That was bizarre and he couldn't even think of what had made him vacate his alertness like that. There were no thoughts that stood out to make him daydream any more than usual. Even in his day dreams he had more awareness.

And then, that sensation also passed.

It was disrupting his stability because the longer he sat there in a stasis of confusion; the more he started to feel like he was actually aware of it all along. He was aware and not aware and really, he just sat there staring confusedly. In addition to not really knowing what he was thinking, he felt like he needed air.

"Kanda?"

He needed to reply, but he couldn't really coherently think of words—even if his mind was threading through questions of why he wasn't sorting his thoughts properly. A few moments, however, and he felt like he was getting a grip on it. Maybe it was the combination of anxiety from his own personal self doubts and dealing with someone who was striking all his weak points about being fragile as a glass doll.

Or perhaps it was because Jerry knew such a personal thing and he wasn't close like Allen, Lenalee, or even the dumb bunny that flopped around in his field of dumb.

"I need to step outside for a moment. It's too hot in here." He didn't wait for permission before he was already sliding out of the seat and starting toward the nearest exit.

"Wait, I was told not to let you free until you ate, honey." The protest was weakly delivered and Kanda knew why and he was abusing it. There were no reasons why he shouldn't use his pitiful expression when he needed an out.

The door cracked open and he turned back from it with a tired expression. "I just need a moment. I'll be right back." The words felt dry on his tongue and impersonal. Impersonal never bothered him before but now he was feeling sick with it. It was beginning to feel like his body couldn't stand to be around those that fell out of his inner circle and that disgusted him a little because some how—for some horrible reason—that had begun to include Cross, if he didn't have this need to involuntarily shrink back every time he saw him.

Pregnant or not, and hating that word, he still had enough skill to slip out without being stopped. Jerry couldn't exactly follow him much beyond the door for reasons of not burning the kitchen down and Kanda was already around the corner by the time the man would have made it out to him.

'_What in the world is wrong with me?_' He thought to himself as he walked along the wall absently. Cross had already given him his daily deal of annoyance and he expected it from Jerry…but not that much. All things considered, he hadn't even let Jerry get into the thing he feared the most. The twenty questions that he'd been prepared to have to combat hadn't even gotten started and he'd already scrambled off.

He felt weaker in that moment than when he crumbled apart after being his with reality when Cross had unveiled the multiple of two. "Damn it," he muttered and pressed his back to the wall, stopping for a moment to stare up at the tall ceiling. This wasn't exactly 'outside' or 'fresh air', but it was significantly less stuffy than the kitchen room. Though, he was getting slammed with the hungry feeling and internal conflict of crawling back for food.

It was a conundrum. Feel the…shame and anxiety and have food. Or be spared his unsteady emotional turmoil for the price of partial starvation until Moyashi showed up and provided him the moral support he hated, but needed.

A deep breathe in, a heavy exhale out. Calming the fuck down was what he needed. Not that he actually remembered when he started to feel unsettled. It was lingering traces of the sudden blast of confusion, maybe.

He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the cool brick.

…Just needed to make the world stop spinning.

And then it went black.

**To Be Continued…**

_ A/N: Okay, whoops, bit of a delay there, but fear not. Chapters are in the queue here. I kinda failed my nano thing there, but I tried. Haha. I got a few chapters out of it and hopefully they're acceptable for how quickly I wrote them. Thank you guys for your patience, and enjoy your cliff hanger, suckers~_


	23. Faint

**Incubation **  
><em>Part 23<em>

"M…nda…"

Somewhere in a fog of black, noise trickled into his consciousness and Kanda's muscles burned with his attempt to move. It wasn't that he couldn't move—he certainly could—it was just that he felt like perhaps it was a waste of energy to do so. In the pitch black haze, he was comfortable. Comfortable…that wasn't something he'd felt in a long time and giving that up seemed like a rather stupid decision. In truth, he felt like he was swimming—weightless and surrounded by warmth. If he was, it suddenly became a question of how he got to a body of water that didn't involve jumping off a building. He was fairly certain he hadn't jumped off the tower and if he had, there were doubts that he would be feeling comfortable about it now.

"M…st…K…nda?"

That noise again. Similar to the last series of noise but creeping into his comfort zone and seemingly pulling at him. As if to fight it back, he tried to tune it out and make like he couldn't hear it. Meditation trained him to have that power. Blocking things out had become a talent all on its own, but this was fairly persistent—it was like when Allen would haggle him to get up to see Cross. Being woken out of a dead sleep was enough to turn on his fire breathing ability.

Waking out of a dead sleep…? Was he sleeping? He didn't remember falling asleep. Of course, he didn't remember ever entering the comforting black abyss around him and that was slowly being ripped from him by the slight entering his vision from a direction he couldn't quite make out. He wasn't even sure if it was a direction or just the result of him finally attempting to open his eyes.

It was a bit concerning that he had no recollection of closing his eyes either; not for that long anyway. Not long enough to drift out of one reality into a less stable, less social one. The one in his overworked mind wasn't what he could call a reality, though. Regardless, he slipped and when he finally stared up—vision bleary and trying to focus—it became painfully apparent that he was not supposed to be where he was and probably not for whatever reason that made him no longer vertical.

"Mister Kanda?"

Waves of thick confusion seemed to be draining off as he collected his bearings and breathed deeply. Before he even considered answering the concerned words being repeated at him, he had to make a mental list of what he could offhandedly recall.

He remembered seeing Cross and then being sent to see Jerry. He also remembered seeing Jerry and food and wanting it. There it became fuzzy and an anxious feeling trickled along his skin until he could put words to the feeling. That was it. He'd left because Jerry was making him feel antisocial. Or rather, his overactive hormone levels were distorting his emotional response. It nearly made him flinch to think that he actually got jitters enough to run away from _Jerry._

Of all people.

Not Cross. Not Komui. Not even Allen, the one who ought to make him feel most self-conscious and awkward.

That was what he was explaining it off as, anyway. There was no other explanation as to why he would have just had those feelings well up in him enough to make a moderately sized kitchen feel like a box with very few air holes. It was almost a similar feeling he was beginning to experience now as cognizance began to sharpen the face in the path of his blank gaze.

It was a face he swore he recognized, but it was taking more than a minute to make it click in the memories he stored away in the parts of his mind that felt he wouldn't ever had to recall it. Unfortunately, he had to dig through that box to pick out the face and it took a few context clues to narrow it down even then. Fortunately, the person who was staring down at him, looking concerned, had a light tanned coat that gave him a much easier time sorting through the list of people who fit that description in his memory.

After that, he was still a bit blank in his understanding of the situation. Why was there a Finder leaned over him? This Finder either worked with him personally, or hadn't been invited to the Finder's initiation where all the seniors would tell the newcomers that Kanda was the worst person in the Order as far as they were concerned. In a way, maybe that wouldn't be a lie. He couldn't bring himself to really care about Finders, because they had life spans of the average housefly.

Blinking away the blur, it finally did click, however.

"You're Goz."

That was that dopey Finder that he entered that overtaken town with—at least he assumed he was thinking of the correct person. He sure hoped he was, because it would look very poor to his abilities to recall.

"Yep. That's me. Are you okay, Mister Kanda? I saw you sliding down the wall and you really didn't look so good…do you want me to go get someone for you?"

That damnable prickling feeling was coming back with every word. Was this how people normally felt when others showed concern? It was starting to really unsettle him and all he wanted at that particular moment was Allen. Being alone obviously didn't work and while he was hungry—he was also so tired he thought he could fall asleep again.

"Help me up." Not exactly a request, but not quite stated in the harsh commanding tone that he would have used otherwise. It was essentially asking for assistance and he'd been so adamant about leaning on as few people as possible that it was clawing at his sense of pride. Goz, as dumb as he appeared, was actually tenacious and for some reason, fond of Kanda anyway. Perhaps that was a little low to be using him, knowing he had something of a fan in this big oaf; but Kanda had decided he was done playing chastity games with his morale.

Getting off the floor was a priority and if he chose the stubborn path and tried to get up by himself, he'd expose himself for what was really the problem. Like this, he could at least fake some kind of dizzy spell. Not many people outside of those in his inner circles knew about his super human healing abilities and this idiot would believe Kanda with just about anything the man could tell him.

Goz's hand, Kanda realized, was a great deal larger than his own and he took the man's outstretched hand feeling somewhat out of his own mind for noticing such minute details. There seemed to be some kind of heightened sense of awareness now that he was fully roused and letting the data process through his tired mind. This sudden switch, from the confused daze of earlier, was a concluding that Kanda's body needed to be balanced somehow to prevent this chemical instability that made his thoughts and body react extremely sensitive to things around him.

There was also a possibility that his strange behavior, surrounding what he assumed was a span of maybe ten minutes, was the result of being so accustomed to not moving around anymore. The most of his _fun_ outings were going to see Cross. That wasn't much in the way of physical motion. Perhaps it was similar to the way a person could get dizzy from standing up too fast. Or something like that.

The muscles of his legs strained to push him to his feet and he wished he'd never done so. Nearly immediately after he'd maintained his upright position he began to feel the unpleasant churning in the pit of his stomach that alerted him to a probable expelling. He hadn't even had the chance to put food in it and he was already trying to bring it back up.

"I'm fine," he sucked in, trying to pass off the wave of nausea and praying that the big goon got the hint and vacated his personal space.

"Are you sure? I can get someone…You don't really look okay…" Persistent and Kanda was neither surprised nor excited about it.

When all else failed, Kanda simply turned the cold disposition on and attempted to shrug the man off. "I am fine. Don't you have Finder duties to get to?"

"I just returned from a mission…At least let me help you to your room? If it's about the infirmary, then I understand that feeling, I don't like infirmaries either. I can just carry you if you need me to!"

"Why would I want that?" The Asian male was actually astounded at himself for being able to restrain the undignified grunt that would have assisted that near exclamation. His own mate wasn't allowed to carry him off without a large quantity of protest. As if he would allow this big football brain to just whisk him off like some kind of hero. Even his mental dramatizations hurt. "I just need a minute and I'll be off to my destination. Just go back to what you were doing."

The look of doubt on the large Finder's face couldn't have been more obvious. The recollections of dealing with this man were pouring back in and it made shoving him away a whole lot easier. Naïve people always bothered him and while he didn't know if that man was the same as before, he knew he was ten times more irritating than even Allen's original dose of naivety.

Kanda proceeded to try and shoo the Finder off and maintain his stone-faced expression. Outward signs of frustration or discomfort wouldn't make this easier.

Then again, nothing could make any of this easier. Not just this Finder, but everything in the long run. It would be a trial until the end and this was just a stone being tossed into his placid lake. He couldn't even handle Jerry—who just wanted to cater to him and keep him healthy. Then this fucknut was all but waving bright orange flags while running toward the nearest doctor.

The harder he protested; the harder it would be.

It made him sick all over again and he wavered a bit. Actually, he wasn't sure if he was wavering for that reason or there was actually something he needed to be concerned about. He _had_ just been picked up off the floor—though he was set to assume he slid down the wall before he slumped over. At least he hadn't tripped somewhere.

At least this time he was seeing the onset of physically disrupting ailments. The lights around him seemed to dim at the edges of his vision and it wasn't because someone was cutting out the lanterns. It was because he was slipping back into that warm, comfortable place that he now knew was unconsciousness.

"…Fuck," he whispered, fingers turning and curling into the fabric of the Finder's jacket. The harder he protested…He reminded himself that he was no longer as independent as he was before. His social retardation and need to function solo was causing him grief, but the sharp pain in his side was unraveling the part of him that held it in esteem over other things.

Being weak, vulnerable and victimized by everyone from his own body to _God_ were all things he had managed to come to certain terms with and they were familiar now to certain degrees. He was about to add 'asking for help' to the list of things he once refused to do but no longer could.

Shaking knees buckled and Kanda's mind actually experienced a panic that he didn't like. His safety was being threatened by gravity—but with the strange luck of chance, he was held up by the person whom he had saved in the past.

A thought struck him and acted on the thought as soon as he was able to voice it, looking up at the big oaf who could run messenger for him and probably would due to some estranged liking for him. "Go find moy—Allen for me." It then occurred to him that this man may have never met Allen, but it wasn't like Allen was hard to spot. In a crowd of a thousand people, Kanda could pick Allen out as if he were waving a banner. "He's shorter than me, with white hair. He should be coming back from Komui's office."

"But what about you?"

"Leave me on the floor."

"But I can't…" The finder was protesting as Kanda suspected he would. This corridor was on the other side of the cafeteria and he would be okay to remain there until Allen got to him. Not many people generally roamed past the cafeteria. This person was just an abnormal case of at the wrong place at the right time.

"Yes you can. I'm not dying or anything." At least he assumed he wasn't. If there was something significantly wrong he would have hoped it would be a little more obvious than what was essentially a fainting spell.

_Jesus Christ, I'm having fainting spells_, he groaned in his head as the man let him back down. The opposition to doing so was painted on the Finder's face pretty obviously, but it seemed that man remembered that Kanda was not someone to fuck with.

In the time it took Kanda to blink, the man had already vanished from his area. Perhaps that blink was a lot longer than he thought. Time was beginning to be skewed from the way he felt. Before, it wasn't noticeable; but once he was laying against the cool marble, he could feel just how warm he was. Heightened temperature seemed to be a common thing lately, but he'd learned to tune it out. Perhaps his ability to tune things out had actually backfired against him this time. Ignoring problems was a lot easier to do when his tolerance was as high as it was.

He had just been fine enough to trot along by himself, so there was a little confusion. Cross didn't seem to notice anything wrong with his stats. His temperature wasn't alarming enough to make the redhead concerned about his health. Asshole that he was, the General was still more knowledgeable than anyone else.

Laying flat on the floor, however, didn't feel good. This was realized after a few long minutes passed and he had to roll a bit to the side to take the pressure off his spine. This was aggravating because the brats weren't big enough to really vex a woman in his situation; but the additional tissue and his thin body made it such a hassle. The added mass over his abdomen made it harder to breath on occasion. It also made it more obvious that there was something there. Fortunately, Lenalee was a better shopper than Lavi and occasionally brought back things from town that were designed to make him less apparent.

The long draping shirt allowed his body to breath more, while the scarf like…thing, draped over his shoulders and gave him the appearance of being flat down the front. For the time being, anyway. The illusion didn't work while he was laying on his back either—which was another reason that he had to roll to his side.

Embarrassingly, he couldn't remember which side he wasn't supposed to roll on either. Since there wasn't sharp pain from doing it, he assumed he was okay. In that particular position, however, he could feel the strange pulse of the Innocence. Not a foreign feeling by any stretch of the imagination, but it was still enough to weird him out—laying there on the floor with what felt like another heartbeat in the wrong part of his body. He supposed the average woman would be feeling elated by that sensation of another life in their body—assuming they were given the ability to feel it as vividly…He, on the other hand, was more discontented by it.

The worst part was that it took thinking about Allen to make his actual heart beat calm the hell down so he could avoid passing out again. He licked his lips to keep himself distracted from the dizziness that seemed to cloak over him. What in the hell.

Dark eyes closed to stop the world from spinning and that was the only reason. His heart was beating too fast for him to sleep and he was still cognitive. Thoughts were still being sorted through and Kanda wasn't _fainting_.

So why did he see people he didn't hear approaching when he opened his eyes again? And why wasn't Allen one of them? He sent that big dope to get moyashi. Not….Oh, fuck. Not Cross. Especially not Cross and Lavi. Why was Lavi even with Cross…If he wasn't already confused, that would have just done it right there.

"…God, it's like you multiplied," he groaned once his vision steadied again. Cross and Lavi were screwing up his recognition skill because of bright flaming hair and covered eyes. Luckily, Cross's douche bag face was enough to draw the line. "And why is your ugly mug the first thing I have to see."

"You're talking a lot of sass for someone who fainted of dehydration, girl."

Dehydration….?

Oh. Well that explained it.

"That's…what this really shitty feeling is?" The feeling of being a limp, over cooked noodle. Noodle was perhaps not the perfect example, but he felt like it was as close to a descriptor as he had. Gravity was more of a powerful force than he was at the moment and he just remained there, while Cross was poking and prodding at him to check and make sure he wasn't dying somewhere.

"I told you, repeatedly, to make sure you were taking in enough fluids. Are you incapable of listening, boy? Do I really need to monitor you like a child?"

Of all the words, the only one that seemed to reach his tire brain was the one where Cross hadn't quite demeaned him like usual. "You called me _boy_."

"Eh?" The man shook his head, annoyed by the stupidity of the children he had to deal with. "Let's get you back to my office and I'll get fluids in you. I'm going to lift you, stupid kid, so don't tense any muscles that you don't have to or you could strain yourself."

"Nnh, where's moyashi?" The limb noodle feeling was strong as Cross hoisted him up and he offered no physical response. He just allowed it to happen. There was an extreme lack of energy to really do anything else and all things considered, Cross was cradling him like he mattered—giving him an impression of being safe enough to not have to defend himself.

But…it was _Cross_.

Why the hell did he feel lax around a man who did nothing but terrorize him on a constant basis? This whole curse was starting to really break the logical portions of his brain.

"Some Finder went to go get him," Lavi answered in Cross's absence of words. "He stopped and asked us if he knew where Allen was…said you were asking for him so I came this way. I grabbed the General because that Finder looked like he was a little worried."

"Stupid kid. Komui will have my ass if you're hurt in any way."

Kanda would have scowled at Cross's careless wording if he had the energy to not just be whisked around like a rag doll. "I'm touched by your unwavering concern for my health." His mumbling made him wonder if Cross could even hear him, since there wasn't an immediate response. Or maybe Cross was insulting him to cover that he was actually worried that something had been wrong. Well, technically something was wrong. Dehydration wasn't a joke by any means.

What he wanted and what he needed were getting skewed. He needed water. He needed food. He probably needed rest.

At the moment all he _wanted_ was for Allen to hurry the fuck up.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: I actually really liked this chapter, it's one of my more favored ones because I think I captured Kanda a little better here than a few of the previous ones. Though that could just be me. I also felt I NEEDED to include my favorite Finder somewhere in there. Because augh I just adored how much of a dope he was and even as a dope, he understood Kanda wasn't just a cold asshat after all. _

_Anyway, happy thanksgiving everyone. I know it's a little late, but hey, I tried! I think I failed Nano, but the bonus is I have a great segment planned for this story, so I hope you still have faith in me!_


	24. Dignity

**Incubation **  
><em>Part 24<em>

Allen's feet couldn't really carry him faster without them needing to be longer. Unfortunately, he wasn't granted with a fast sprinting grace, either, and nearly tripped himself trying to get from the front door of Komui's office to where he's been told Kanda was. Five words might have gotten out of the tall stranger's mouth before his brain sent little shocks of panic through him.

That morning, he really hadn't wanted to be separated from Kanda—like any morning really—but he had gone with Komui for reasons of his reports and other details that they'd been putting off for the sake of keeping Kanda sated. It seemed like he was starting to plateau in his fluctuating physical status, but that appeared to be an illusion. Or at least there was something that changed it for the moment. Maybe something changed since that morning. Kanda was already half way through this ordeal. He had passed the half way mark and seemed to be significantly less disturbed with the state of his being than he originally was.

Sure he was still flighty with people and even worse with people he really had no personal connections with. That was Kanda with or without a couple living things growing in his body. Some things wouldn't change, but least he was handling it better now than he had been doing before—even if that was a probable result of him locking himself up in their room with him and curling as best he could under blankets.

Given that Allen had been told that Kanda was at least awake and able to coherently express his wish for the Finder to search him out, he knew that Kanda was at least some degree of okay. Kanda was really difficult to keep down.

But even as difficult as he was to hold back, he wasn't invulnerable and definitely not now. He was actually considerably fragile—a concept that left a little chill in Allen's skin. He himself was more durable now, than the one who had pretty much straightened his ass out in the beginning in some ways.

In his desperation to get to the location he was told about, he ran right past Cross as he turned the corner—legs carrying him until he reached the end of the short hall where his mind had to catch up. When his thoughts were flying around a mile a minute he suddenly became very slow in his response time and by the time he spun around, they'd already stopped and were watching him with some degree of their own confusion.

The walking pair were harder to miss than Allen, he considered. Red hair practically jumped out at him and there was Cross as well—the man who was currently acting as his lover's doctor. It was possibly the only reason he actually responded to the subconscious stimuli of vibrant colors.

It wasn't until after he paused in his movement that he realized it wasn't just Lavi and Cross. It was unusual enough to see Cross outside of his chambers dressed down to what was essentially casual wear for him. It was even more unusual to see a body slumped across the span of his arms and much less to see the familiar dark hair spilling over his arm.

"Kanda?" He called out meekly. There was no way it was anyone else if they'd actually stopped. Cross didn't pay him much mind unless there was a relevance to it and they were coming from the direction he was going.

"Ngh, so that blur _was_ moyashi…" Kanda muttered against the fabric of Cross's shirt. He'd all but given up trying to stay acutely alert. He had seen movement, but couldn't focus on it.

"What in the world happened?" Allen's voice raised a pitch when he was boiling with concern like he was. Kanda was essentially his life and while he had no intentions to really say that to the extent of its truth, he felt it strongly. "I was told you collapsed…"

"He's severely dehydrated. Apparently you haven't been watering your girlfriend appropriately and now he's wilting. I'm going to set him up and get some balanced fluids in him. His nutrient levels are probably suffering too because of your spawns. You can help and I'll send Junior over here to get Komui."

"Where are we going?" Asking questions was probably not welcome and Allen should have known better, but his deep concern for Kanda came first.

"I'm taking him back to my office. I'm going steal a bed from the infirmary and set him up there until he's balanced out again. I can't put him in the infirmary like this. I can't get access to the same equipment there and this little secret needs to stay just that." Cross turned his gaze on him and motioned for them to keep walking. He wasn't going to carry around this motionless brat all day and the longer they paused the longer it would take to get him back to the state he needed to be. In addition to every drop of his blood being absolutely necessary to his survival, he also needed every bit of nutrients and most of all, water. "Allen, when was the last time you recall him drinking anything?"

Allen tagged along close, but not so close that it would create tension between he and his mentor. Cross was justifiably…cross with him at the moment. Or maybe not as justifiably as he made it seem. He really should have been paying closer attention to Kanda, yes, but he also was having his own energy drained out by his lover and it maybe did cause him to slip. Even so, while he wasn't monitoring Kanda's intake to a T, he did know that Kanda drank things often enough. Every morning he was harassed by Lenalee to drunk a full glass of juice, whether Allen was with him or not.

"He does drink frequently, Master."

"If that's the case, then we have an underlying problem, are you certain he's drinking enough? He's got two other life forms he has to support as well and if it's falling short, he's slowly draining his body. In addition, he hasn't eaten today and it's well afternoon. He needs to be eating enough to account for nutrients he's losing."

There wasn't a second granted him for a retort, because Cross made it to his door and wordlessly managed to command him to open the door without speaking. Allen had thought they were doing well about it, because Kanda ate when Allen ate and many times Allen would watch his lover picking foods off his plate—as had become their custom. Perhaps that still wasn't enough or perhaps it was the wrong combination that he was getting.

Once in the room, Cross closed in on Allen and directed the boy through his usual intimidation until his pupil had recognized the cues to sit the hell down or face the consequences. "Open your arms, boy," he verbally commanded once Allen was seated on the bench in his office space. Without any more words, Kanda was deposited into his lap and Allen wrapped his arms up to support him. It was strange feeling Kanda so unresponsive—just cradling him. Allen looked up to Cross again, who was much more on top of this than he felt he ever could be. "Stay with him while I go steal a bed out of the infirmary. If his condition changes any, bring him to me quickly. Komui might be here before I return if the nurse gives me sass. Fill him in."

"Okay," he nodded and was then brushed off for the more urgent things. This left him alone with Kanda in Cross's office, looking down at the half unconscious man in his arms. Once upon a time, he would have laughed if someone said he would see Kanda in such a position. But here he was. It was somewhat intimidating. "Kanda?"

"Hmmm…"

"Are you okay?"

"…Hah, yeah. Just a little dizzy," Kanda's voice was concise and clear for someone who was shutting down from lack of life essentials. The smooth voice was just a little quieter than he was used to.

"I wish I'd been there with you, I'm sorry."

"Neh, Moyashi."

"Yes?"

Kanda struggled to turn himself so he could outstretch an arm until his palm rested against the side of Allen's face. The gesture would have been almost sweet if it hadn't been followed by Kanda's fingers moving down until he pinched his cheek as mercilessly as he could in his state. "If you're going to start this self blaming thing every time I have a crappy day, then we're going to have a sizeable problem. I don't think I could have avoided it. I didn't even know I was dehydrated. Cross didn't either when I was with him. It's just not something we were looking for."

"Yes…but what if there are other problems that we're not seeing just because we're overlooking them? What if we miss something because I…we're not paying close enough attention?"

"Then I'll haunt you when I'm dead," he commented lightly, trying to keep that from sounding like a serious possibility—even though it was. At this point, he was too disoriented to start thinking about things too deeply and once Allen got started, he may never stop.

"That is so far from funny, it's not even right."

"Maybe so. However, your panic attacks do nothing but send me bad energy and it pisses your spawn off and they retaliate by giving me pain. I just need to rehydrate and I'll be fine. This unnecessary worrying is just going to aggravate me until I kick you out and crawl into Lenalee's bed."

Allen stared down at him incredulously. "You would crawl into her bed…and steal her energy?"

"Of course I would. I'm surprised you think I wouldn't ditch your panicky ass in a heart beat. You're supposed to be the rock here when I need to lean on you. After all, you're the one I'm sacrificing my dignity for."

Silver eyes watched over Kanda's features very carefully, taking in the way his muscles twitched when he spoke and how his eyes remained closed even still. "Do you really feel undignified like this?" The question was stupid and he knew it, but he wondered if there was any part of Kanda that didn't feel like this was nothing more than a cruel joke. Perhaps he was the only one who found this to be bordering on a miracle. Well, it was a miracle to him. Even if he was young and probably didn't have any real concept of what it meant, he felt like he was being given a gift somehow. The first thing the Innocence really did right for him. However, that dampened at the thought that Kanda could really be suffering, not only physically, but emotionally as well.

He cared for Kanda as Kanda was and truthfully, didn't want to lose the wild flame that was Kanda. If this was the long road to breaking his spirit, he wanted to fix it in any way he could. It hadn't occurred to him before; that it had already started. Even now, Kanda was a lot less cold about it than he was.

"This is undignified, Moyashi. Look at me; I'm in your fuckin arms. Like a princess. Only with significantly less tits," was the blunt reply that could only fall from Kanda's mouth. "I _fainted_. I goddamned fainted in the hallway. I should be still walking without swaying. I should be able to wake up and not feel like rolling back over to assimilate my bed. But I just…don't. I remember when I had a garden. Remember that? Remember when I used to go outside. I haven't set foot on grass in months and I'd like to, but what's the point. When I can just roll up on you and sleep."

A minute passed with the silence following Kanda's words and Allen needed to process the meaning behind it. Kanda's _undignified_ explanation was about how he carried himself? Not because he was like that to begin with? That was what it was? Really? He wanted to ask, because that seemed a little too…strange for Kanda. Kanda wasn't vain, but he took very careful pride in his strength and his fitness—both of which took a huge hit in this child creating Innocence fiasco. At the same time of wanting to ask, he almost didn't want the answer. It would make him feel awful if Kanda was just finding absolutely no positive side to this _and_ dwelling on it as if it was just a stain to his pride.

If Kanda was being honest with him, though, he felt it only right to be as open with him. "Kanda, are you saying that your biggest problem is that you're just not accomplishing much anymore? I know it's a lot because you're physically tired, but some of those things we actually can do. Granted, I kinda can't put you down at the moment, Cross would kill me dead, but there's no reason why we can't go out to the garden."

"Because I can't be seen like this, Moyashi. I just can't. You know how much fuckin trouble this could get us in? If the Vatican found out about this…Breeding Exorcists might become an experiment that I want no part of and I just really don't think I could do this again. I don't want to do it once, let alone be tortured to reattempt it."

"I won't let that happen, okay? I promise. I will fight the whole world if I have to. I just want you to be okay. I just want to try and make this as least taxing on you as possible and we can find a way to work around this you know…" He was starting to feel like he imagined a husband would feel. It was kinda funny in that way, because he got the impression that if it ever came down to it, Kanda would actually be the husband figure. Comforting others was really Allen's thing, but this was a different kind of comfort that he was acting on. "Besides, who said that we have to go during the day? It's relatively empty at night and I know we can slip out there without anyone noticing. The garden is lit up. It's also a bit cool out there, so I know you could benefit from not dying of the heat. I don't know about tending the flowers yourself, but maybe I could be a proxy."

Kanda shifted again, staring up at Allen and wondering if Allen actually thought before he spoke. He wouldn't be surprised if the answer was no, but he could stand to be less obvious about it. The optimism that came with Allen was just something he had to learn to deal with. Well, he was already adjusted to dealing with that, but it wasn't this often he had it directed at him to precisely. They didn't talk about some of these things and they didn't talk much in general about anything related to this.

The most recent conversation he remembered having with Allen that had depth was the one where he and Allen argued about whether or not an Olive was a fruit or a vegetable. Allen lost that one, because who the fuck would think an olive was a fruit? Really? It was nothing like any fruit the moyashi ever ate, but arguing with Kanda over plants was instantly his downfall anyway.

Though, come to think of it, he didn't mind those stupid little arguments. Maybe they weren't deep; but because of that he also didn't have to deal with the heaviness of it. Maybe that's why it was strange to hear Allen talking about such personally related thing. Like how Kanda felt he couldn't leave his room for the undeniable fear of being seen. It seemed like Allen just didn't understand it, but did at the same time. Or rather, he might have understood it at its base level and was more content to try and work around it than embrace the full extent of it.

This was why thinking was not Kanda's thing. Thinking was actually the last thing he should be doing, given that his mental state was in disorder and he was floating somewhere between okay and not okay.

"Let me help you, Kanda. Please," that caring voice was insistent on digging into him again and he pawed at his face, squishing his cheek to kill the intense look he was giving him. Allen was a big dope and he had to mush his face to reflect it.

"Stop giving me that look. You're going to make me faint to escape having to watch you actually gush at me." The fainting thing was probably an exaggeration, but Allen couldn't have been sappier if he was a tree, standing tall and spewing his sappy sappness in buckets all over him. He felt like he needed a bath to unstick Allen's emotions—maybe then he could sponge in some water and inflate himself again. The thought amused him a lot more than it really should and he considered it a sore side effect of his weariness.

"I'm not giving you a look, Kanda. I'm just worried."

"You have no reason to worry about me, moyashi we knew this was going to have some complications and this was just one we hadn't foreseen. I'm obviously not dead or dying if I can listen to you blathering about your weeny little emotions."

"You _fainted_ in the hall Kanda. That's something to show worry about. _Fainted_, Kanda." The tone Allen switched to made Kanda a little more on guard, because he knew when Allen like to give him a hard time by the subtle cues of his voice. Most people probably wouldn't notice, but there was a slight alteration in his accent when he started that shit and over the months of having to deal with it being turned on him without warning, he could spot it from miles away.

"Shut up."

"_Fainted._"

"I said shut up you little homo."

"_Faaaaainted._"

"You should be thankful I can't really do much to you, but so help you when I stop feeling like this," he grunted and pinched his cheek weakly again. Even though he was still experiencing a slight of deliriousness, he was feeling much less scrambled than before. His guess was that it was a direct result of being back at a resting pace and no longer standing—where vertigo seemed to wreck him pretty badly.

"Fainted! And who are you calling homo, Kanda? You're more homo than I am," his white hair bounced with the amused shake of his head at Kanda's weak attempt to give him an insult.

"The hell I am. You're the one gushing at me. You're the one displaying your affection openly."

"That's not fair, I just care. That doesn't make me homo if it's just you."

"The fuck does that mean?" Kanda clicked his tongue at him and tried not to change expressions from the blank stare he was holding as his poker face. If Allen managed to get under his skin then he won and Kanda was not in a losing mood. He wasn't in a 'being awake' mood either, but he was maintaining that by attempting to maintain the secondary goal of not letting Allen get his blood boiling. He didn't need steam taking more water out of his body. He was already experiencing a shortage.

"It's means—"

The sound of the door creaking open, however, killed Allen's clever retort, but it also brought in a familiar face with a nice glass of something Kanda really badly needed. Water. "So I heard that the twins are experiencing a bit of a drought?"

Allen swore he heard Kanda growling.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: I probably shouldn't be posting this with as tired as I am and how many typos I missed. orz. Sorry bout that. I have amazing plans for this story and I also have like 10 days off work coming up. Ehehehe._

_For someone who asked: Goz is the Finder from episode 34/35 [I believe] in the anime and that's also one of the chapters of the reverse novels. He's, I think, the only Finder that's shown going solo on a mission with Kanda, and ends up like...Kanda's flippin fan boy._

_I'm also getting a lot of compliments on keeping them in character and thank you very much, I hope I continue to do so. It's a process trying to grow Kanda and Allen but keep them...you know, THEM. I shall try not to disappoint. I was gonna shout out to reviewers, but fuck, I appreciate you all so that seemed like a moot point XD_

_Ok, I'm going the hell to bed before I hurt myself. _


	25. Name

**Incubation **  
><em>Part 25<em>

"So I heard you had a bit of a problem last week," a gentle voice started, not really set to antagonize; but rather bring attention to the situation that he'd missed, while drawing it out to be assured that it was—with certainty—in the past. "I'm pleased to see you're well enough to be out here, but it's rather chilly tonight, Yuu."

Kanda turned under the blanketing moonlight and made out the silvered outline of his mentor. The man had returned after his last departure and for once he wasn't unsettled by seeing him. The last time had been a nightmare for his anxiety reasons, but this time he was a little less on the edge of trying to explain abnormal phenomenon and his teacher seemed to quite understand the current state of his pupil. That was Tiedoll's love for children, though. Because he was nearly certain that his brats would be undeniably spoiled the moment Tiedoll could managed to get his fatherly hands on them. Part of him found that actually rather convenient, because he certainly didn't see himself cuddling them the way he expected Tiedoll to.

Tiedoll and Allen both. Augh. Allen would be the cuddliest thing and he knew it was unavoidable. The younger male couldn't convince him for anything that he wasn't glittering with delight at the thought of two little things he could love—especially when Kanda knew that Allen's own parents had discarded him and he himself never had real parents really.

"Are you cold any?"

Oh right. Tiedoll had addressed him while he was off in his head thinking about the strange family scenario that was coming with this. What a weird thing. He really had no idea what _family_ even entailed, but the picture was becoming clear just because of his own images of Allen. It made him want to pan him in the head for distracting him so blatantly. "It's a little cool, but I'm fine by it. I only intend to be out here for a few more minutes. Moyashi said he would be back in a bit. Something about needing to make sure I had liquids. He's been on that since my dehydration episode."

The old man simply stepped next to his student and smiled—a light mirth in his aged face. No this was not what he, nor anyone could ever anticipate from one such as him, but he could support him just the same as if he was anticipating it. This young boy had been given to him full of nothing less than despair, but he could see a different aura on him now. He wasn't going to say _glow_, because even he knew that his pupil would take that as defensively as a young pregnant person might. "He's just doing what he feels best for you. He's very good to you and that does please me greatly."

Kanda turns his head, brushing the longer hair out of his face and sporting a questionable expression. "What do you mean by that? It pleases you?"

"Hmm, yes. You've been dealt a difficult life, my young apprentice, but it doesn't always have to be unpleasant and without the connection to others. He has been able to bring some kind of peace to you, even if it's not apparent."

"Come on, old man. What are you yammering about? It's just moyashi. He's half responsible, that's all."

"Perhaps. Or perhaps he's just that invested in you. Then again," the artist gazed up at the array of stars shining over the rare clear night. It was pleasant in the dead of night. "I'm just a crazy old man."

Kanda put his hands to his hips and accompanied it with an incredulous look. Tiedoll may have been a crazy old man, but he wasn't fooling Kanda. Crazy or not, Tiedoll was more than aware of the little things around him. It was almost a shame that Tiedoll had no actual blood children of his own because he might have raised some decent humans into the world that way.

"How do you feel about this, Yuu?"

That struck Kanda like a slap, really. No one had been quite that blunt. Beating around the bush was beginning to be a trend lately. Even Allen had tendencies to talk him into things before getting to the point. Then again, Tiedoll was rather different in status with him than Allen. Allen was the person he shared his body, bed and possibly a lot of his feelings with; but Tiedoll was the man who could read him like an open book even if he decided he wasn't going to answer.

However, he chose to answer this time. There was a certain dismissal after the ordeal with his dehydration. There would be a point where his ability to express his thoughts and feelings might actually be necessary to his health at hand. If he'd just told Jerry that he was feeling off his ass confused and a little unwavering, he might have saved himself the embarrassment of fainting in the hall. "I don't really know yet. I've spoken to Moyashi a bit about it, but I'm still just dealing with it. There's nothing else I can really do. The Innocence chose this and it's not like I can fix it."

"I understand your situation must be difficult, but how do you feel about this without outside involvement?"

Leave it to the old man to confuse him over a pleasant conversation. Well, as pleasant as talking about this could possibly be. "What do you mean?"

"I mean your personal inward feelings. I am certain this cannot make you feel very comfortable in your own body and I will admit that I am concerned for you. I would like to try to assist you in any way I can, but I am not a doctor. There is a limited range of things I can do, if I can assist you in any way that would ease the thoughts that I'm certain leave you in doubt, please tell me. Maybe this is out of my place to say, but my duties have left me unable to stay for long and I will probably have to leave again, but while I am here I wish to make certain you, above everything else, make it safely through this. You are very precious to me and I…Yuu?" Tiedoll stopped, stepping closer to make sure he hadn't angered him as Kanda's head turned away.

What he found was no what he had thought it would find. He hadn't made his student angry, he'd apparently set off a wrong emotion and the glint he'd seen before the young man's head had turned was actually a stray trail of water sliding down his cheek.

"I…I…" Kanda stammered, not even understand what the hell had happened there. Tiedoll was busy gushing away at him and he felt like he'd been hit with a bricked bag of emotions. Emotions that should have been carefully tucked away with everything else he had been striving not to show outwardly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

The younger man shook his head, leaving the long strands of his hair to shimmer in the light as they floated over his body—unkempt and growing uneven. He needed a hair cut, but he couldn't seem to sit still or sit up long enough to get Lenalee to do it without backing out. It was possibly because Lenalee hadn't cut hair before and he got even worse jitters on that idea alone. Lenalee butchering his hair was the sort of thing nightmares were made of. And then he had to shake his head again to keep his thoughts on track. He'd gone from the strange welling up of emotions to feeling absent and airheaded again.

"You didn't upset me, I just…" What did he just? He was making it up as he went as per usual. That was what all of his conversations looked like as of late. Especially with people he didn't speak to often. Tiedoll was lately one of these people due to the fact that he was immobile and Tiedoll wasn't really allowed to stay in one place while there were exorcists to be found. "I just…I don't really know. I want to have an answer that will satisfy both of us, but it's just not there. I can't ask anymore people to assist me. This is really just my business. It's also not something that I should take others away from their duty for. Just, I'll consider your thoughts enough."

That was probably the most he'd ever spoken to Tiedoll all at once and it was a little strange. In fact it was a lot of strange, but it was comforting at the same time. There was a fatherly presence he had and he wished he could keep that fatherly presence and replace Cross with that just to keep his tension down during some of those annoying visits.

Actually…

"Can I have one of your sketch books?"

"One of my sketch books? Do you wish to learn to draw?"

To draw? He hadn't considered actually drawing in it, he just wanted the book to be the familiarity when he wasn't around people that made him comfortable. In the same way he would wear Allen's sweaters when they weren't tight around the middle. But maybe, maybe drawing would benefit him more. Much more than passively holding on to a notebook.

"Yeah. Maybe," he muttered and followed the bleak horizon where the moon shone the water meeting the land. He was anything but an artist, but… "There will be times when there's nothing I can really do. There will be moments where I'm stuck here while everyone else has to leave and when I can't move around freely, I'll need something to do, I guess." He tried to sound less like this was some kind of emotional revelation for him. This wasn't his thing and never would be and gods help this strange and elated feeling he was having. It would go away soon enough and he would be back to throwing his scowls and scathing remarks. His emotional expression was more bipolar than a magnet. The day before he'd nearly lost his mind because Allen had spoken to him while he was meditating—and act that got progressively harder the further time moved.

"Then I will get you one of my empty sketch books and some charcoal. Expression might ease your thoughts and if you're feeling a little out of character, you might be able to save yourself from drowning in frustration. I know it's likely to happen because, well, I've been around my fair share of those experiencing what you are and it's no small thing. Nature is incredible and while this is not natural in creation, this is just as bit natural in progression. You are simply following the natural order now. And I'm very proud of you."

That stupid feeling came back and he wanted to do to Tiedoll what he did to Allen every time he started that fluff talk; but there was no way he could get away with pinching his General's cheek and scolding him for being an old loon.

"Thank you General," he spoke in just simple words. Words he wasn't that good with but learning in his time with Allen. It wasn't softening him, per se, but it was making him more aware of how to respond. That was necessary when he couldn't get his emotions to listen to his logic. God damned hormones. He was cursing his children before they were even born. Not even out in the world and he was already being harassed by them. That was his luck.

"I'll leave it with young Allen later if I'm unable to see you before then. I must speak with Marie tonight, so I will leave you to your peace. I believe I see your partner anyway, please ask me if you ever need anything, I will do what's in my power to assist you."

"Yeah, yeah. Stop that already. I'm fine," he finally snapped back to his usual gruff and waved the man off. He appreciated the heartfelt moment as much as any child being roped into family time does, but he needed to breathe without emotions coming out of every orifice; and that wasn't happening as long as he was around already emotionally open people. Well, more emotionally open than he was.

Watching Allen walking from the direction Tiedoll nodded to, made him just realize he was trading one family oriented man for another, but at least he could abuse the second one for his precious energy; which, Allen always had a plentiful amount of lately. Whatever Cross had done to him to spike his energy up had really made the difference in his ability to get up and move around.

He wanted to narrow his eyes at the jacket he spotted in his partner's hands, because he knew that was Allen just being overprotective like he had been doing at lot since that last issue arose. However, when the chill settle in his bones, he found that protesting would make him some kind of dumbass and so he folded his arms to break that cold spell off his skin. Just the fact that he was outside was enough freedom for him anyway. That he was being coddled was just something that he'd deal with as long, so long as he could still maintain his individuality for as long as humanly—and maybe a little inhumanly—possible.

"Hello General," Allen's soft voice cut through the crisp air and Tiedoll took it with a similar pleasantness. Kanda was surrounded by these types of people, dear god. "I didn't know you were out tonight."

"I was just a bit restless, my young friend. It is time for me to head back in, however. I see that the two or you are well enough that I can leave him in your care with no worries." His moustache bounced with his speech—a thing that had always distracted Kanda from the time he was just a kid to apparently at that very moment in time. It distracted him long enough for him to watch Tiedoll leave without any more words and for him to realize Allen was staring at him.

He shot a deadly look at Allen for it. "What?"

"Nothing, I was just surprised. You seem relatively calm with that," Allen shrugged and took his place next to him. Kanda was still standing and with how long he was gone, that made him instantly enter protective mode.

A mode that Kanda was not unfamiliar with and would normally breathe fire at him for; but for now, he was just going to pretend he didn't know how Allen's hand was nearly twitching to touch him—just shy of the awkward man hug type of position. Naturally, he had to turn his head to keep from expressing his distain obviously. "It was fine. He can't haggle me as much when I'm like this."

"You say that like it's a disease."

"No. More like a parasite…or parasites. Or leeches. I guess leeches would be…no, parasite is more accurate on account that it's in my body. A leech you kinda just….stick on and let it do its business. Parasites don't go away depending on the type. So it's like having tape worms."

Allen stared at him incredulously. What was he even supposed to say to that? His partner had just called their children-to-be tapeworms; and while that wasn't too far off as far as comparisons could go, it was somehow much less wholesome than he'd like to hear from the 'mother' of his only children. That was the price of breeding with a creature like Kanda.

"Tapeworms, eh?" Just speaking it nearly made Allen's expression break. "Well, for your sake, I hope these tapeworms look prettier than what is expected of the average worm."

"Excuse you. Look at me. These tapeworms are going to look fantastic."

"Whoa there, I can't handle your sass, Kanda." Teasing, always teasing; but it was pleasant and finally Allen brought to attention the thing he'd left Kanda's side for in the first place. The warm drink that he was letting cool enough for consumption couldn't get too much cooler if he still wanted it to taste good for Kanda. It was just a little hope of his that Kanda wouldn't just scoff at him for the gesture. As long as liquid was getting into his system, Allen didn't care.

It had taken nearly two days to pull Kanda back from his extreme dehydration and he did not want to have to experience that again. Not only had he eventually annoyed Kanda with his need to be constantly by him, but he'd lost a lot of sleep and energy—which benefitted no one. Kanda needed that energy that he didn't have, so there was no winning that. They learned a lot more about Kanda in the process though, as well as the Innocence that they figured was sucking water out of his body when there was no other source. Lack of eating and lack of energy left it to fall back on what ever else it could. As long as they balanced it, Kanda could remain healthy enough to be outside in the middle of the night like he promised he would try to do for Kanda.

"Hey Kanda," Allen started and stopped there. Undivided attention was necessary for the topic he was bringing up and nothing seemed to make Kanda more agitated—and paying full attention—than when he started speaking and abruptly stopped or beckoned for a verbal response before continuing.

"What?" The Asian man snapped just as Allen predicted. The features he could make out of Kanda were outlined by the moonlight and it made it so much harder to look directly at him. There was a temporary fear of him becoming too enamored and losing sight of what he needed to say.

The sharp click of Kanda's tongue prompted him to just get to the point and so he decided to do just that. "I…Well…I haven't really considered for the second one, but…I think I have a name for one of them…I wanted to talk to you about it and explain why I'd like to choose this name."

This was something that he'd been thinking hard on since Kanda told him to start thinking. As much as he didn't want to admit it, it was possibly one of the hardest things he'd had to do; and even though Kanda told him to decide, he wasn't going to do anything without the man's agreement and discussion over it.

Somehow this one thing, this one word—name—was something so very important to him.

Because to Allen, who never had a proper name, this would be a thing even beyond blood ties. His name, while not his name granted to him by his parents, it was a name that identified who he was. In the same manner that he assumed Kanda's name was given to him. Even with what little Kanda would tell him about his background, Allen had been given enough information to assume that Kanda's parents were possibly even more nonexistent than his own. Kanda name too, as possibly just a granted name.

He didn't want his children to hate their names like Kanda seemingly hated his first. Surely, that was a different circumstance; but should something happen to both of them, he wanted his children to carry names they were proud of have. Obviously, that would be mostly a thing concerning how they were raised, but it always had to start with a name that wasn't awful.

He wasn't about to name his children something ridiculous.

"Well, get on with it. At this rate they'll be born before you manage to utter it."

"Okay, okay. Just…hear me out all the way through before you toss me off the tower for it."

"This sounds promising."

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Okay, so I may hiccup on updates for this for just a short while, due to the project I've started for Christmas. I'm writing a Christmas Yullen fic that I will hopefully have the 12 chapters finished by the time Christmas rolls around. Once that's out of the way, I will get right back on this, and I do plan to revive some of the other ones now that my humor kick seems to have returned. I do promise, however, that the Christmas fic will be totally worth the wait. _


	26. Splash

**Incubation **  
><em>Part 26<em>

"Kanda please…"

"No. I refuse."

"I'm not asking you for much, just…Come on…no one else is around…It's in the middle of the night and no one else would be in here."

"I can just do what I've been doing from the beginning. There's no problem with it, so why are you suddenly harassing me about it" Damn moyashi." Kanda grumbled and turned away from him even as Allen committed to dragging him along. This was a bad idea in his mind, but Allen wasn't having that. The younger male had a valid point with it, but he really just…did not feel like submitting to _this_ just yet. This was also a risk and much more than he was willing to take until Komui could sanction off a place for them that would be closed to others.

"I'm sorry, Kanda. I am, but really…And I don't mean this in as bad as it sounds, but you _really_ just need to take a _real_ bath. I know the alternative has been working, but I think you'd feel so much better if you just did and your hair is starting to shine more than it's natural sheen. That and I bet the warm water would take away some of the aches." It was painfully obvious that Allen was trying so hard to make this sound appealing.

But Kanda was still not having it. He didn't want in the water and he didn't want to be in a place where people could actually see him exposed. And looking…

"No."

"Kanda!"

"I said no and that's that. Let's go back to our room; I'm not getting in the fuckin water." He was already turning to leave the wash room about the time that Allen cut him off. The look he cast his younger lover was deadly enough to wilt plants if he had been in the close proximity of one. Allen had cleverly tricked him into idly stepping in and it hadn't really taken two whole seconds to get the picture. "Moyashi… If you don't move, I will implant my foot so far up your ass that I won't be the only one giving birth."

"See Kanda? We're safe in here if you can openly say thing like that!" Allen tucked away a snicker, but his mind was also travelling to other things that made him cringe. The idea of Kanda's foot wedged anywhere wasn't exactly a pleasant though. "Just…for a little? Please? I promise I won't make you do it again if you still hate it. I just know that….Ah, hell with it. Kanda you need a bath because you just _do. _Because you smell…._off._"

"I smell off? The fuck does that even mean?" He stared at Allen and nearly flicked him just for the premise of that topic. He smelled…off? The kind of off does _off_ refer to? "What the hell are you trying to say? That I smell bad?"

"If you smelled bad, Kanda, I would have whined at you sooner. But you've been sweating buckets lately and sponge bathing isn't exactly washing away the…unusual earthy smell you have now. It's not bad, I just don't…"

Dark eyes stared down the lighter ones, daring him to say something. There were numerous ways Allen could go wrong right about now and Kanda was in what Allen called: 'fire breathing dragon mode'. Worst of all, he was already set off by Allen even showing him into this corner. "You don't what?"

"I….don't…augh. Sometimes I wake up and forget it's you because I'm used to you smelling like you. You have a…a…"

"A what?"

Suddenly Allen felt like he was on trial and anything he said wrong would instantly result in him being drawn and quartered. But…he really couldn't lie because he loved Kanda's usual scent. It was… "Flowery," he blurted. "You have a masculine flowery smell and it's a lot different than the earthy one you have right now. It's because you don't do the usual bathing ritual you did and I think you would notice the difference if you just….worked with me and bathed? I'm not asking you to bathe while I stand here and watch or anything…I mean, I'd definitely watch if you wanted me to, but I'll be in the bath with you."

For some reason, the smallest of things ticked at Kanda in Allen's explanation. "What do you mean you'd watch me? Have you looked at me recently? I cannot possibly be anything attractive to look at."

"But you ar—"

"I have dark circles under my eyes that make me look like I've been double punched in the face. That can't be attractive in the least." Kanda didn't care as much about his general appearance…until it came to Allen and he really didn't understand why that even was. Allen seemed to not take those things to heart like any other male would. So why did Kanda feel himself shying away from Allen seeing more of him than absolutely necessary? Unanswerable question was what that was. He just did. It wasn't nearly as much doubt and shame as it used to be, but now it was something that probably bordered on vain. He like being appealing to his mate.

And when he wasn't even attractive enough to want to look in a mirror—for fear of seeing the shadow of his healthy self—then he knew that Allen was just humoring him if he actually found that still pleasing.

"Kanda, you've also had blood spewing out of gaping wounds before and I've found you attractive through that. Don't think anything of it. Besides, that was just a joke, okay? I'll even turn away if that makes you feel a little better about it."

"I never even agreed to this, I don't want to bathe!"

"And why not?" Allen's voice was sharper and his shoulders rose defensively. There wasn't any reason in the world that Allen could come up with to explain why taking a bath was such a terrible thing. Kanda had to have some other reason for being so off set by it. It could not just be a vanity thing—that man was not that shallow and Allen wasn't buying that. "You need one!"

"You even said it's not like I smell bad! So what's the problem?! Unless I do smell like ass and you're just not telling me? In which case, you're a dick and I hope I suffocate you with odor!"

Bitter Kanda, as usual; but Allen wasn't sugar coating it for him. He really did just want Kanda to have a real shower, be actually clean and maybe realize he'd feel better if he just submitted to it. Additionally, the British teen wasn't blind and he was beginning to notice the stiffness in Kanda's body when he went through the process to clean himself the hard way. It wasn't very effective either.

"There's no one in here, Kanda. Get in the god damned bath or I will put you in there." Because direct threats were how you converse with Kanda Yuu.

"Yeah, bite me. You can't do shit to me if you don't want to risk hurting me. Besides, maybe I'll consider doing as you ask when you actually come up with a second name," Kanda sneered, making a prudish—and quite haughty—gesture. "Or are you going to submit to our children being named Mana and BLANK Walker? Because I'm okay with that, but you'll have to explain why your brat's name is BLANK."

"That's not even fair," Allen pointed at him as another defensive motion. For some reason, he thought that was going to make this seem less like it had been turned on him; but he knew that after another week and no additional name, he was going to start getting chided for it. "That has nothing to do with this! You can't blame them on the fact that you're refusing a simple bath. What are you? A cat? Are you going to hiss at me when water touches you? Or maybe you've finally ascended to your full vampire status and now water will burst you into flames or something."

"What the hell fiction bullshit do you read when I'm asleep? I'm going to have to tell Lavi to stop bringing you shit because now you're just being a dumbass. I just don't feel like taking a bath. I'll do it some other time. I feel clean enough!"

"Kanda!" Allen groaned a frustrated cry of…well…frustration. It was like he was intentionally being difficult. "I will come up with a name for the other when I'm ready. We have time. However, we have just a few hours before the window of opportunity disappears."

"I said no."

He was fighting a losing battle against the dragon once more. Irritated and feeling like the loser, Allen pulled the buttons of his own shirt until he could open it and shrug it free of his body—just a smooth enough action to make him look truly annoyed when he threw the garment at Kanda and waltzed toward the water himself. If Kanda was going to be the stubborn shit, then he could bathe without him. It was a backwards logic that he was hoping would maybe shift Kanda's decision.

Except that Kanda was a fire breathing dragon and there was no pulling that dragon off his next for anything if he was set on it. He flopped down on the edge of the bath and let his legs hang in the water. Stupidly, he realized he hadn't gotten to shed his pants, so now his pant legs were wet up to the knee. Somehow, he was having a hard time caring about that when his biggest gripe was the person giving him children. The most difficult person to deal with would just have to be the one person in the world that was fragile and _because_ of him.

"Suit yourself, Kanda. You're just going to wallow in the haze you've been in anyway."

Kanda was his most important, most precious person; but he could be such a pain. Even so, staying mad was rather difficult when he considered just how giving Kanda was in some senses. When Allen had proposed the name for at least one of the children, he had expected Kanda to find that ridiculous and outright deny him. Instead, he had quickly agreed. If the older man thought he could convince Allen that it was because he didn't care, then he was a lot dumber than Allen usually gave him credit for. A name may have meant more to Allen, but it wasn't something that Kanda would just blindly agree to—as evidenced by him giving him a hard time about it.

It gave Allen such a pleasant feeling. One of his children would inherit the name of the one person who treated him like a child and not a thing to be discarded. Mana was someone who shaped Allen's life and there was so much attached to that name. Unfortunately, it wasn't all pleasant things attached. There was pain and tragedy attached to it that affected Allen permanently. This, thought, could be a rebirthing. This could cover the negative feelings and the hurt with something new and elating. It was his chance to honor Mana and live in his stead.

A sigh slipped between his fingers as he leaned toward on his hand that was propped up on his knee. He'd stopped his frustrated grumbling and just slipped into thinking—worst of all, thinking about something he'd been rethinking about for a week. It was like he couldn't get over the lighter feeling of the name cementing it. It wasn't just a concept when there was a name. Like little Mana Walker was already a person and they were just waiting to meet him.

Pressure on his back also brought him back to reality, because he really had no idea why he was suddenly having a hard time sitting up and instead leaning a bit forward. It wasn't until the pressure turned into a hard shove that it was understood what that was from. However, Allen was already violently pushed into the water by the strong kick of his charming partner.

"Hey, quit your fuckin daydreaming and take your bath so we can go already."

It actually sounded like a garbled mess of sounds to Allen, however, because he was busy trying to breathe in a substance that wasn't liquid—mainly air. Hacking and coughing as he came back up from the bottom of the bath left him deaf to the sneer. Yet, the aura that was coming from Kanda's direction was as plain as day as far as he was concerned.

"Kanda!" Allen screeched at him when he remembered how breathing worked. "You could have drowned me! Then what could you have done?"

"I'd pull you out and…I don't know pound on your chest a few times, that's how you fix a drowned person right?"

The blank stare was the most emotive response Allen had. Not because he couldn't believe Kanda…Sadly that wasn't out of Kanda's range of thinking; but the man's concern for him was astounding. "Oh thanks. I'm glad you _care_," he groused and shoved his hands across the top of the water, sending a large splash of water to crash across Kanda's front.

Honestly, he expected hissing.

It was almost disappointing that all Kanda did was step back with a loud snarl and clench his fists threateningly at him. Those were things he was already used to. "Moyashi! What the fuck are you doing?!"

"Hey Mana…BLANK, tell your mommy to come in the water already. I know he doesn't know how swim, but it's not deep or anything and he looks great so I don't know what the problem is. You guys should tell him for me. Maybe he'll listen to you."

Yeah…

He had some kind of death wish.

"…Moyashi…." Kanda's teeth were grinding as if instinctually. "…I'm leaving…right now." Muscles twitched until Kanda stiffly turned around and made the weak attempt to walk away. The pull of his rage toward Allen was obviously winning—but, unlike before, Kanda couldn't just pounce at him and attack him like the ferocious monster he wanted to be.

"Oh come on, stop that," Allen sighed and pulled himself out of the water—heavy because of being soaked all the way through. He sauntered toward Kanda and decided that if he was going to die from it, he was going to die a good death.

Reaching his arms out toward Kanda, he brought the grumpy man into an embrace and pulled him back to chest with him. Kanda flailed weakly under his tight hug and Allen nuzzled his face into the side of Kanda's neck. "Don't be like that. I'm sorry. And I'm also sorry for this, but you did force my hand and I love you lots, Kanda."

The sudden turn of apology made Kanda's mind do a flip and switch on all his mental warnings. What the hell? What did Moyashi mean by…_OH. _Oh… "Hey! No! Stop! Let me go you little…! I swear to god you little …**shitcake**…I'm going to frost your fucking ass and carve you into little pieces!" His fist pounded against Allen's arm, but the boy had a mission it seemed and dragging Kanda across the wash room seemed to be it. The way Allen's arms embraced him so tightly over his chest made escaping nearly an impossibility with his lack of stamina and drained strength.

"I do it because I love you!" Allen's voice was happier than it should be for the impending doom that would come after Kanda managed to get into a position to hurt him. Worth it. He was no less than one hundred percent certain that Kanda would ultimately be glad for it.

"You liar!" Kanda struggled and tried to drag his feet, but it was a losing battle with Allen stronger and apparently fearless. He didn't want in the water. Not at all. Going into the water meant that he would have to strip his clothes down. The idea of being naked in a public place just made him want to crawl away in a dark hole until he returned to being thin and acceptable in that public place.

And then there was Moyashi. His partner who hadn't seen him undressed in quite a while due to his obsessive compulsive need to do everything involving bare skin in solitude. It wasn't like he was still reeling in shame, acceptance had eventually come via disgruntled submission…And it certainly wasn't because he was being vain…he looked like a cow at that point.

It was the fact that the moment Allen would see the obvious—even if small—outward curve of Kanda's abdomen, he would be lost in a gushing mess of _doting daddy_. He'd have to swat Allen off with a rolled up newspaper to keep him from trying to be _that_ guy and…rub his face all over his belly or something. Maybe his brain was exaggerating, but the fear was still there. Something like that would emasculate him more than anything he could possibly think of at that particular moment.

"D…Damn it, Moyashi!" He choked out, voice then rising in pitch once they were close enough to the water that Allen had to step back into the pool and drag him.

"I'll be fine, I'll even towel dry you when I'm done scrubbing you down!"

"Wait who said you were going to-ah..aaaahh! Hey!"

A loud splash followed and echoed in the room until the water finally settled. Coughing a time or two, Kanda tried to turn and smack the stupid out of Allen. Fortunately for his partner, Kanda just couldn't turn that war while he was still in Allen's grasp. Though…if he leaned back hard enough, he was sure he could force him under water and drown him. It was looking like an appealing thing really. However, he didn't.

Namely because Allen's arms had slid down from his chest and rested over his middle—leaving him with that flustered feeling like he should scramble away. The fluttery feeling, though, dissipated after a long moment and no real motion from Allen. It just left him with curiosity that he wanted to sate, but didn't want to ask. Just what was moyashi thinking about?

"…Stop that," he finally grunted and started pulling Allen's fingers back to make him release him. Unfortunately, he was already getting tired, but he had ways to bend Allen to his will, if it got down to that point.

"Stop what?"

Kanda yanked a finger back particularly hard and Allen yelped a bit before letting the one hand go of him. Still, he kept the other hand right where it was. Kanda was all but in his lap anyway. He didn't see the problem. It really wasn't much of a public display of affection if there was no actual public—and as loud as they were being, there would have been people if people were ever going to show up.

"Stop touching me like that."

"…But why?"

"What do you mean, but why? There's no reason to touch me. If you want to gush all over me, you can do it when we're not here. Just let me get out and get dressed and leave. I don't want to be seen looking like _this_ either."

Allen frowned. He knew the emphasis on that was more directed at the fact that he really couldn't be seen _pregnant_, but it always irked Allen when it felt like there was the possibility that Kanda actually felt like it took away from him being _him_. Kanda was still Kanda, just with a little extra. "Kanda, stop talking like that. You're still beautiful."

"Beautiful?" He paused and stared down at himself, drenched and distorted by the reflection of the water, but undeniably still not how his body should be. "Yeah, maybe like a whale." He grumbled and kicked his leg above the water, lazily splashing his foot in the water repeatedly. "Splash, splash, Allen." And then he proceeded to make what he assumed were whale noises.

"K…Kanda…" The younger male choked, body trembling for a reason that Kanda would have killed him for any other time.

"Go ahead, moyashi. Laugh it up. You have to deal with your partner being a sea creature."

"Well…" He sucked in a breath and tried to compose a response. "At least you don't have to smell like a fish."

"A whale is a mammal, dipshit."

"That was sarcasm, Kanda. Now quit being a stubborn squid and let's clean you down and get back to our room. Lucky for you, I keep changes of clothes in here so you're not going to be walking back in wet clothes."

"I can't fit in your clothes. You're not a whale."

Allen just laughed.

**To Be Continued….**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry for the delay everyone, I've been working on the Christmas fic and now I'm officially half way done with posting. I wrote a surprising amount of words for a last minute project heh. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Things will be picking up now that I've established what I needed/wanted to establish. And as always, thanks for reading this catastrophe. _


	27. Awaken

**Incubation **  
><em>Part 27<em>

"Tim, stop."

_Bounce._

"Tim, I said stop."

_Bounce. _

"God damn it, stop that," an irritable growl erupted in the quiet room—waking the other figure sleeping in the bed. The angry voice died at the sudden movement and Kanda glared at the golden ball that was bouncing along his abdomen and apparently nesting on his belly. Damnable creature had some fucking nerve, Kanda decided. In that particular position he was in, he couldn't just reach out and swat Tim away. His arms were currently in Allen's possession—with fingers entwined. He was leaned back against Allen's bare chest with the back of his own shirt drawn up to bring them skin to skin. Kanda still wasn't comfortable with sleeping bare; but the best energy he siphoned out of Allen was when the skin contact level was high.

Allen shifted under him and blinked himself more awake. For some reason, it appeared that Timcanpy was bothering Kanda and that was rather unusual for the normally placid little golem. Slate-gray eyes glanced down over Kanda's shoulders, putting Tim in his direct view, "Tim, what are you doing?"

The little golem rolled against Kanda's soft shirt and eventually just flopped over on him like there was nothing wrong with invading Kanda's personal space—and it was rather apparent that Kanda was not okay with it. In fact, Allen could feel Kanda twitching against his arms—fingers drawing tighter. Tim, however, offered no answer other than to lay there on Kanda lazily; with one little wing fluttering and pointing up.

"I think he's broken," Kanda finally announced, lifting his leg to bend at the knee. The heightened agitation and the winding tension of his muscles left throbbing pains down his limbs—something restless and just plain annoying to have to deal with.

"I'm not sure what happened. He was fine last I saw…" Allen was groggy and confused. Out of the blue, he had been suddenly awakened and was trying to think and thinking was never his best skill when just coming out of sleep.

Perhaps that was why it took Allen several long minutes to realize there was someone else in the room; someone that had managed to slip past Kanda as well. Tim's actions made him realize over the course of those several moments that the golem was providing a warning—and judging from the way Tim wasn't urgent about it, left him with only one logical conclusion.

"…Master Cross?" He tested cautiously, earning a questioning grunt from the man currently laying mostly over his body. Cross was not that much of a creep to spy on them in the middle of the night for no reason—this alone sent a red flag waving in Allen's mind.

Silence was the initial answer and he almost gave up on that obvious feeling of being watched, until he felt Cross's presence literally right next to him. Maria was masking him, but Allen had been around Cross enough and it even seemed that his master wanted him to know he was there; otherwise, Tim would have never woken them up like he inadvertently had.

"I need you to be absolutely quiet and follow my instruction very carefully," the deep rich voice finally spoke. The way he spoke, however, instantly concerned Allen and he shifted a little straighter.

"What's going on?" Kanda's heart beat could be felt by his partner, because he wasn't expecting Cross. While Allen caught on, Kanda was left to be startled when Cross had actually decided to speak.

"I said be quiet. We have a very small window of opportunity to get you out of here, so just do as I say and without running your brat mouth." He paused to let himself out of the veil once he was certain he was not being trailed in anyway. "Komui just unformed me that Central arrived without announcing their expected arrival. I cannot keep you here when they are, it's too risky. So I'm taking you out of here for the time being."

"W…wait," Kanda sputtered, his brain only catching on to the part where he was suddenly being move and it sure didn't sound like Allen was being included in this plan. "What about moyashi?"

"He's going to stay here long enough to keep the Order from suspecting that Allen hasn't actually been in the infirmary. Komui's going to fill out the rest of his records as if he's been released to his personal chambers for bed rest. After a few days or so, Allen's going to be deployed under Komui's Orders to rendezvous with me. Your General is bluffing for us and reporting that you're with them. Which is why I need you out of here now. Getting you passed those idiots from Central won't be hard, but I need to do it now. So get dressed and grab what you need. Allen," Cross redirected his attention after he quickly motioned for Kanda to get a move on. "You need to return to the last room you were in and stay there until Komui comes to get you. It won't be long."

"It'll only be a few days?" Allen whispered, uncomfortable with leaving Kanda's side for really anything—but really having no choice in this particular matter. He helped Kanda up and slid out of the bed himself. Allen stood by Cross while his partner shuffled over to dress more appropriately for the chill that was beginning outside. "How will he get the nutrients and energy he needs?"

"I will take care of that, Allen. Now, go. You need to get back to your room immediately. I don't know where Komui has them, why they're even here or if they have any reasons to be checking up on this place. I don't think they'd have caught on, but if even the slightest possibility is there, I'd rather avoid it."

Allen regarded him carefully. Cross was actually showing a spot of concern for someone and that was unusual to see. "Komui must have paid you a lot to be so concerned about this."

"I'll be certain to shove my boot up your ass next time I get a chance to explain anything to you, idiot apprentice, now _**go**__._" Cross all but kicked Allen out.

The silver-haired boy shot Kanda a look as he made his way to the door. Damn it, he really didn't want to leave Kanda in Cross's possession, but he was putting trust in his master not to betray him and keep Kanda safe. At this point, Kanda couldn't really do a lot of things on his own and he knew how his master was in regards to taking care of other people. Kanda wasn't just 'another' person, either. He was a pregnant 'other person', who needed to be monitored. Not to mention his energy reserves depended on someone to leech off.

Does that mean Cross would…? Or did he have other plans? He couldn't possibly have decided to involve other people…could he?

That left Allen with a weary feeling as he exited the room, giving Kanda one more desperate look before he had to shut the door and just leave. If he looked back anymore, he might not let go and choose the horrible option of fleeing. They couldn't possibly stay out of the Order's sight if they fled, so Allen tucked that idea away and told himself to stop thinking. It didn't seem to work for him and he _had_ just woken up, making thinking even less of a good idea.

For now, he was just going to trust Cross; a scary thought even as he submitted to it. "Timcanpy, go with them and make sure they're okay?" He requested to the flying golem by his head and was pleased that Tim zipped away real quick, shuffling himself under the door to get back into the room with Cross.

Timcanpy fluttered back over and dropped down on Kanda's head, nestling in his soft black hair. The little golden wings fluttered just long enough for Kanda to take note and snatch him off. That was a thing that Kanda couldn't ignore. It was just a motion by his head that resembled an overgrown fly that he couldn't crush. "Stupid golem," he muttered and tucked Timcanpy into his oriental garb.

He chose something that would make him less obvious by comparison to some of the clothing he'd grown into. Looking male _and_ pregnant at the same time was just asking for trouble. In the superstitious and extremely prejudice world that society lived in, Kanda would have been considered some kind of heretical creature and being hanged for something that _god_ inflicted on him would be not only ironic, the worst death he could think of…aside from drowning in a glass of water.

"Are you ready?" Cross again. How was he supposed to deal with a man who was never anything but horrible to him? Well, maybe not _horrible_, but not nice in the least. Cross Marian was a source of stress all by himself and Kanda didn't think the General had a nice bone in his body with the way he usually acted. Though, the intense and urgent manner he was acting in made him consider that perhaps Cross was actually not as apathetic as he was made to believe.

"Mostly, will I need more than one change of clothes? What else will I need? Where are we even going?" Too many questions and probably no answers to be had, but Kanda spewed them anyway. His heart was admittedly pounding in his chest; too much excitement upon waking and very little immediate food source. There was no way he would be able to hold out for long if they were planning to go very far.

"You'll do fine with what you have on. We're going far enough that it won't be a problem once you get there to look for more things. Komui told me to give this to you. Hold on to it," the redhead moved closer and pulled the boy's hand out, depositing a small wallet in his hand. Even Kanda could feel the weight of the currency enough to know that whatever Komui had included would be enough for a while; and most likely from Komui's own pocket. It made him idly wonder if Komui ever spent money he made on anything outside of perhaps his sister, because he had granted him money on a few occasions.

"…Okay…now what?"

"Now you're going to stay as calm as you can, hold everything in your arms and walk quietly with me. And I mean quietly. I can cloak us out, but I can't stifle sounds."

That wouldn't be a problem at all really, Kanda snorted. He really didn't have a desire to talk to Cross, so it wasn't like he was planning to yap at him and carry on a friendly conversation. That would be ridiculous from both sides anyway. Perhaps the only actual concern would be if he could manage to walk from point A to point B without being hit with sharp stabs of pain—those which usually earned an unpleasant grunt before he recovered.

He remembered that time in the hallway, where he collapsed and was found by a Finder who'd only really cooperated because he'd worked with him before. Fortunately, that Finder was a bit of an idiot and didn't make any notice of his current state…but the big thing about that had been his collapse. It was sudden and he could do nothing about it. The idea of walking possibly from where they were to the exit was terrifying if collapsing could mean they'd be caught.

"I can't," he blurted, staring down at the floor, trying not to glow with shame at his admittance, but knowing that he had no choice but to come clean about it. That had taught him that he would need help in cases and if he was too stupid to ask for help, he'd jeopardize himself and Allen as well…in this case also everyone else who was protecting them. He didn't want to be caught for personal reasons, but there was also the feelings he had associated with others.

Allen could face huge repercussions for being the other parent. Cross would face repercussions the same way Komui would, for shielding them. Even Lenalee, Lavi…Tiedoll and Marie were aware of it and at risk. Not to mention Jerry. He believed the rest of the Order might kill him if they ended up taking Jerry away…

"You're certain?" For once, the man's tone wasn't mocking, it was a simple question and Kanda gave a simple nod in response. The situation necessitated no bullshit between them, if Cross hadn't dug his cruel fingers into that little bout of helplessness. "I'll carry you then, so hold on to everything and do not drop it."

"Okay," he spoke a bit blankly, wanting to already erase this scene from his mind. Like he was some kind of damsel in distress here and that didn't settle well with him. At the same time, he was actually a bit relieved not to have to walk that distance. His feet probably couldn't handle it anyway. So he collected his items close to him and walked toward him, suddenly reminded that Cross was a huge man compared to him. He could easily cart him around by the way of their size difference.

"Timcanpy, scout ahead and make sure there aren't any Central goons running about. It's unusual for them to just show up. So something must have encouraged this visit. Find out anything you can if they're talking about it." Cross instructed the golem and it zipped away from Kanda's side. "Let's go now."

Even though Cross's voice was instructing him with as much urgency as a man like him would express, Kanda couldn't refrain from hesitating. His body didn't like to be put in positions that he has no direct control over and that wasn't a new thing. The only real difference was the response. Once upon a time, irritation and possibly outright wrath would have been the result of being carted away like some kind of princess. At the moment it was something more like apprehension, because he knew moving so much after just waking up and not having Allen to settle the swirl of discomfort would not lead to him feeling well.

Regardless, he moved right up to Cross until he was actually breaking not only Cross's personal space but his own. From there, he really didn't know what he was supposed to do, but it quickly became apparent that Cross was already in control of the situation—as he found himself swept up and off his feet in Cross's arms. In the one fluid motion he was no longer vertical, but now laying against, slightly disoriented.

Without much effort on his part, Cross made the way to the exit of the room swiftly and closed the room up, even with Kanda taking up optimal use of his hands. He had to hand it to the man; he was capable of getting shit done. The journey down the hall would be the unnerving part.

He remained as still as possible while he was in Cross's grip; not that he believe Cross would drop him, but he felt like less movement in response would minimize his own gargantuan embarrassment. Perhaps the worse part was that he was comfortable enough to drop his guard and lay limply in the man's arms. There was no doubt about the fact that Cross would hassle him about this blatant damsel in distress show. Kanda would find a way to get back at him eventually. For that moment, it was a time of complete silence and compliance.

He was not unused to going around undetected—Kanda himself was very good at silent stalking—but he held his breath every time they walked blatantly past someone in the hall. Cross's second hand ability—due to Maria—made them invisible to others, but it didn't _feel_ like he was invisible and his skin crawled when eyes moved in their direction absently.

Distraction became necessary and he closed his eyes, arms curling around the few things he'd gathered. If he couldn't see the path, then he'd be less likely to have borderline heart attacks just from the short trip of them leaving. His heart attacks could at least wait until they got out into the outside world and he wouldn't have to be as immediately worried about keeping his condition secret. Of course, he didn't even know _where_ they were going, just hat they were going and that Allen wasn't going with them. Perhaps it was because this was becoming a common thing, that Kanda's apprehension about Allen's potential absence seemed less panicked than it once had been.

It could be days to a week before he would see his partner again, but he was much calmer this time than last time.

It may have also been because he wasn't being left with Lavi…Though, Cross wasn't exactly a great substitute. Well, at least Cross's energy gave off in a calming, fluttery wave. If Kanda was going to continue to describe energy like a taste, then Cross's was minty. A strange comparison really, but that was about as accurate as he could describe. It has a similar sweetness to Lavi, but calmer like Allen's, with and air of control that the other two didn't—almost like he was controlling the flow of his aura to Kanda.

Of course, it was entirely possible that he was doing just that. Without Allen, Kanda would be depending on another energy source. As far as he knew, Cross was the only other person going on this sudden trip with him. _Augh, that means spending a lot of time with this man,_ Kanda grumbled to himself, still ignoring what his vision couldn't see. Instead he let his other senses rule his mind.

Cross's steps were calm, leaving only a light wave-like motion to settle over Kanda as they traveled down the first main hall. No sounds from the elder man could be heard—even his hard heeled boots were silent. The thumping of Cross's heart, somewhere by Kanda's shoulder, remained slow and steady. This was his specialty, after all. Sneaking around in plain sight wasn't a thing he's just decided to try. Not only that, but Tim was scouting around for any signs of any actually threatening people. So why did he feel the need to keep holding his breath? Even his current care taker was emitting an aura that suggested no worries should be had, but still he did.

Thoughts rolled back around to Allen and the last time they'd been separated. This was a slightly different situation, yes, but having Allen out of arm's length made him unnecessarily concerned that something would happen, even if he knew it was extremely unlikely. He was getting really tired of this bullshit with being separated from Allen.

He had to remind himself again that this wouldn't last as long as last time, assuming Central wasn't already on to them. It was possible information got leaked back, but if they weren't there, then they really couldn't do anything to _him_.

Allen on the other hand….

"Have you seen General Cross?"

A voice trickled through his brain, lighting up alarms in his head and he opened his eyes again to see the person who'd asked about the man who was actually walking just past him as they intersected the main entranceway. It was a blond man, who looked like he'd probably had every sense of unique personality beaten out of him early on. With a chiseled, angular face and cold unimpressionable eyes, it was easy to immediately classify him as one of the asshats from Central. That he was asking for Cross made Kanda's finger unintentionally curl into the General's jacket.

"I'm sorry, I haven't. I believe he's doing field work. Good thing too, that man needs to learn what a little _work_ looks like."

Cross kept on walking, pace picked up just a step as he moved past the beautiful blond woman who'd been kind enough to cover him. There was no doubt that her Innocence pet had probably detected him and made her aware. She also knew what to look for, since he'd told her his emergency plan some time before. Certainly, the boy in his arms would kill him dead if he knew that Cross had let his fellow General in on this 'secret', but for the moment it was saving them a great deal of trouble. With his trail covered, he simply strolled out with his apprentice's little girlfriend.

He'd have to remember to thank Klaud later.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Pace shall be picking back up again~. Now that I've gotten all my pieces in place. _

_I see quite a lot of "changed mind on mpreg" comments and that makes me feel like a badass really. Because I'm trying to write one that doesn't make you want to bleed tears. All your commentary is much appreciated and criticisms are more than welcome. Somewhere I did realize the pace slowed, but you know what they say about a calm before a-Never mind :3c_


	28. Flutter

**Incubation  
><strong>_Part 28_

"Allen's going to be here by tomorrow," a husky voice broke silence along with the sloshing of liquid in a glass. The information that had been leaked to the particular person had been delayed and it appeared that his apprentice had gotten lost somewhere in getting to the small village they were currently at—huddled in a private residence that was kind enough to cater to Cross Marian.

"About time, he should have been here yesterday." Kanda had stopped being amused around that same time the day previous when he'd learned that Allen had boarded the wrong trained and ended up another forty miles away. It had been a few weeks since he'd split with him and now that he was officially into the third trimester and getting more self conscious every day, he would have appreciated Allen keeping with the program.

Fortunately, Cross had been very considerate in where they went after leaving the Order and the village they'd decided to make their temporary residence had been quite non-intrusive. Of course, much to Kanda's displeasure, Cross had used the magic he was legendary for to make others see Kanda as a female where he lacked it. Even so, the kindness of the villagers was not what he had been expecting.

It wasn't really that he wanted to be treated like a pregnant woman, it was that he could leave and move around—stop in places with people—and not fear being caught. He didn't have to worry about people freaking out, because all they saw was a young pregnant Asian girl.

Well, okay, that did make him twitch a little.

"That boy," Cross exhaled and drank back a bit of the alcoholic liquid that he'd been drinking steadily for a while. Not enough to get drunk, but enough to make it apparent that Cross was drowning something out. Kanda had planned to ask, but for some reason he always backed out. Whether it be because of personal boundaries, or because Cross probably wouldn't answer, remained an also unanswered mystery. "He gets so lost that I sometime have to question how he even figured out how to get you in this state."

Kanda wanted to throw something at him for that comment, but there was no sense in breaking things that weren't his for a man that wasn't even all there anyway. He was _there_, but his mind had trailed off a while ago and some part of it itched at Kanda still. For the first three nights, Kanda had been stuck sleeping in a tiny little cot with Cross and while that hadn't been comfortable, he couldn't say that he didn't sleep well. Much better than Lavi. But somewhere around the fourth night, when they'd gotten into better accommodations and slept on a larger bed with more space, he'd felt a shift in Cross's aura.

He had somewhere become uncomfortable with Kanda.

Which was all sorts of weird to Kanda. If anything _he_ should be the uncomfortable one for having to deal with Cross and his need to make rude commentary about his situation at him. Cross never seemed to let that go, but apparently some thought had made him back off from most of it, until he was down to just throwing the well needed insults as they came instead of actively working to send new ones at him.

It had already been decided, as Kanda stood with a little more effort than he wanted to admit. When he returned from the walk he was about to go on, he was going to ask what Cross's damned problem was. It was bad enough that everyone was treating him differently elsewhere; he didn't need it from the one person who seemed to be unsurprised about it. Cross was the one who should be least offended by Kanda's unexpected trip down pregnancy lane.

"I'm going for a walk. If I'm not back in thirty minutes, assume I'm dead and call a mortician," he joked and passed in front of Cross without another sound. He probably shouldn't make jokes like that, but Cross understood his unsightly humor. At least, he thought Cross would brush such a crude statement off, but from the corner of his eye he noticed the larger man moving. The shifting of his fairly distracted 'guardian' made him pause in his step—which was really unfortunate, because his left hip couldn't take the weight quite like he expected it to. The crack at his joint made him wince and shift to his other leg. "Hey, don't get up on my account," he snapped—agitated that he'd been provoked to pause at all.

"You're not leaving without supervision, boy."

Kanda's mouth dropped to protest, but he walked instead. He wasn't going to give that bastard the luxury of tagging right along his heels. "I left yesterday just fine and I'll do it again today." Without waiting, he kept toward the door of their little hideaway place. He knew that once Cross finally collected himself, he would be caught up before Kanda could find a crevice to hide in and be alone for a change. He was restless, restless and tired—which was the worst and most unsettling combination for him to have. He wanted to move, but he really just wanted to sleep. Unfortunately, his back was hurting him too much to sleep the rest of his prison sentence away.

And that's exactly what this was. Prison. Prison; with the warden being Cross and Allen being the little asshat who'd show up to save him far after he'd already started his sentence. Hating his life was getting easier and easier as every day passed. There was a sense of isolation that was hovering around him like a fog. Kanda couldn't get too close to people—not that he wanted to—without risking his identity being blown. Most women in this particular village seemed to enjoy pampering the "mothers-to-be", and he did get his fair share of kind gestures. One of the younger girls from the market brought fresh fruits and another brought bread. These things were nice, but he couldn't really let it go beyond that.

Even as he slipped down the few steps and hurriedly down the path—in an attempt to gain some space between he and Cross—he noted how he'd have to be wary of those women. They liked to talk and they liked to pull him aside and try to give him advices on anything from helping swollen feet to preventing stretch marks—and he had to try and shake his head and pretend he was too shy to handle the confrontation. Sadly, he did not trust himself to not screw it up. Especially when the seamstresses constantly badgered him to let them make a dress for him—which would lead him into the worst situation of being in a dressing room exposed. Magic or no magic, even if they could not see he wasn't female—they'd feel it the moment they tried to take measurements.

It's these reasons that he had to stay within a certain little bubble and also because of these reasons that he felt secluded. Cross being completely weird and dismissing him was not helping in the least. He really needed Allen to hurry up. As much as it killed the swordsman to admit, Allen would at least pay him some warranted attention—which was really what he wanted at that moment.

The attention he got, however, was always in the form of the bubbly ladies that managed to rope him into their shops or stop him for a brief snack—as if he wasn't eating enough. No matter how he tried to distance himself, it always resulted in some townswoman ushering him to a place to be seated—and ultimately lead to Cross coming to get him for being out far too long. That old bastard was nothing but a hassle when Kanda was perfectly content to stay outdoors while the weather was fair. Though, he wasn't quite as charmed by the forced company he had in many of these women. He never let it get too far, but he'd also never forget the raunchy things he didn't realize women talked about.

He made his way down the main walk of the town—weaving through people with a short destination in mind. This walk always led him to the garden and then back through the fairer part of the town—that part he always got stuck in by the end of it. Absently, he did remember he had to pick up a salve that the lady in one of the shops was making for him. It would be rude to simply ignore it and he'd never turn down an opportunity to spend money out of Cross Marian's wallet. Hopefully he could make a short stop in, if he could manage to get Cross out of his hair for a few moments. There was no doubt that the stubborn old bastard was trailing behind him somewhere. Kanda was more acutely aware of his surroundings than the old man liked to think.

Admittedly, he was distracted more and it often led to being snuck up on—but when he was looking for it, he wasn't going to be surprised. He'd just grumble a bit more and keep shuffling. That's pretty much what his movement was these days; slow shuffling. Too much movement or effort had tendencies to hurt his hips and his back couldn't take much before he had to lean on something or sit. Perhaps that was why the women always stopped him—maybe he was that transparent. Moving around in his…pregnant body was getting…awkward. His spine wasn't too excited with him anymore either, by the way he had to lean back and hope he wasn't waddling as bad as he felt he was.

At least he had comfortable shoes—if nothing else. The woman in the shop had been very meticulous in seeing that he had a proper shoe. He was used to heavy, uncomfortable boots, that he forgot entirely how a decent pair of slip-shoes felt. They were nothing like the standard issue from the Black Order.

Each step down the graveled road had him trouncing over different thoughts and, in a busy place, it was hard to really keep his thoughts centered over one thing. When he tried to think about Allen, his eyes would catch something and have him drifting off into other thoughts—thoughts that ultimately led him back to Allen, but caused him to stray from the path for many moments. When he thought about the two brats that were busy ruining his body…he still ended up back on Allen. Even when his feet dragged him to the edge of the small pond in the garden, he had thoughts of Allen. Finally, he had to admit to himself that he might have missed the little idiot—and what a difficult admittance that was.

He paused in the middle of the walk, just before the pond. His feet dragged him there and for the most of it, he wasn't aware. The journey was done subconsciously and he was partially glad it was like that. If he wasn't really aware he was moving, then he couldn't feel the pressure in his hip. Once he stopped, obviously he could; but the bulk of the walk was spent wondering how much longer it would take the idiot to travel the distance he'd overshot. He really wanted to know how the moron made _that_ mistake.

Damn it. I'm thinking about him again, he exhaled as he stared down at the glassy water. The weather was nice today and the sun wasn't drilling holes in his skin this time. The aggravation of not knowing how his body reacted to things was frustrating at times. The sun burn he'd gotten in the beginning of the first week had been an eye opener and Cross was not too happy to know that he'd not been taking care. How the hell was he supposed to know the sun could burn without feeling hot?

He wasn't subjected to the stupid rules that faced most human. Though, that was probably what was a little unnerving now that he was realizing how fragile normal people actually are. That was why he walked in short step and wore everything he had very long and draping. When he got tired, he made no qualms about taking a seat—which was what had earned him attention in this town to begin with (much to his dismay).

So he sat down by the pond, taking immense effort just to lower himself and slip his feet into the water once he kicked the shoes off. The slippery bodies of the fish flitting around in the water felt strangely pleasant. Their fanned little fins brushed against his toes and it was a fluttery feeling. The fluttery feeling crawled up his legs and he could feel it twitching somewhere in his gut. A squirming feeling seemed to bubble somewhere around his left side. He'd been feeling that for a while and assumed a muscle spasm—since Mana seemed to be nestled right up into that side of his belly. It wasn't consistent, mostly when he was sitting and almost every time he was there—resting by the pond.

Staring down at the water, he thought perhaps it was a subconscious reaction to the fish. Occasionally, one would butt its face into his toes and he'd recoil. These ponds were packed so full of fish it was unavoidable to be bunted by one's skittish face—sliding a big creepy eyeball against his ankle until he made an unappreciative grunt and shook it off his leg. It was reasonable to think his stomach wasn't as strong as he thought before and maybe this was what it felt like to be grossed out by something sliming up his leg. Somehow, though, he didn't think that was it. If it really was as unpleasant as the churning of his stomach suggested, then he would have withdrawn his feet from the beginning and never put them back in.

The fish that brushed against his leg felt almost exactly like the small flutters in his stomach and he watched the wiggling creatures scramble around in the water with a small hint of amazement. They were moving-alive. They rolled in the water and lived crammed together in the small little space that he'd dipped his feet. They weren't skittish or afraid of him, perhaps even comforted by the presence of another life-strangely adjusted fish if nothing else.

For a long moment, it confused him why it felt so relevant and maybe a bit monumental to see and feel these animals moving about his limbs like his feet were a fun thing to play with. He stopped twitching at the slimy eyeballs and gaping mouths-they became a comfort that mimicked the gentle brushes in his belly. The warm feeling that spread alarmed him a bit, but the reaction was hard to suppress. Staring down into a pool of dumb fish, he finally recognized that feeling of movement-gentle trembling-in his gut was his brat moving.

He stared down in the water, the glassy reflection lost since he'd put his feet in. The waves of denial drew back until he was left stranded with reality and really feeling it from somewhere other than annoyed fingers grazing over an extended belly. He didn't move. He just watched the fish and focused every other feeling out for the sake of the one tickling him from inward. That little nudge on the left was what all of this was about. That little nudge was what ruined his body and risked their safety from the tyrants running the place. That stupid nudge was making him question himself and his feeling for a lot of things-most prominently, Allen. That nudge was alive and his body was keeping it that way.

"Damn it," he whispered to himself, feeling wobbly. He hadn't come to the pond for life changing thought processes. Those just happened on their own. That hasn't been the first time he'd trapped himself in emotional thinking. However, that had been the first time he'd understood the movement of his offspring and the significance of its little body within his own. It was probably a fortunate thing the other, smaller one wasn't moving quite as vigorously-or he seriously might have had an emotional crisis. He ridiculed himself at that thought.

"Yuuka!"

He jumped, visibly at that. The sound broke his quiet moment and scattered his thoughts until he lost grasp of that feeling that was leaving him mentally floundering. His eyes redirected and his head turned toward the sound. The soft spoken voice was that of a village girl. The name that came off her tongue was the genius name that Cross Marian had decided for him. It was so unique and creative and just his two fucking names shoved together, missing a few letters. He was annoyed, completely annoyed by it. He didn't want people calling him by a name that wasn't actually his—even if he knew it was the safer method.

Not knowing how to respond, he just stared up at her. The only way he could even communicate was to whisper. Hiding the depth of his voice was important in keeping his identity safe and he couldn't rightly be rude to her either.

"Good afternoon," the lady smiled, carrying a big basket and accompanied by a few young women he hadn't noticed right away. That was concerning, because he really didn't like being around groups of people—even if they were nicer than Allen could ever hope to be. "How are you doing today? I heard you hadn't been feeling too well for the last few days, so I brought you come fruits. They'll make you feel a little better, I think. They're all fresh too."

The awkwardness always set in at about these moments, because he didn't know how to respond without sounding sheepish or sounding hollow in his appreciation. Even as crude and unpleasant as he could be, he was grateful for help where it was given—more openly, even, with these women who didn't know him or his usual personality. It almost felt wrong because it was a big lie. "Thank you," he whispered and tensed his muscles to stand.

The hand on his shoulder almost made him inch toward the pond—a thing that would have been disastrous. It was simply so sudden and he was so alert, that he failed to notice one of the girls was seated by him and the others were following suit. This was not the first time these familiar girls had stopped and stayed with him and he did feel a lot less perturbed than the first time, but it was still unnerving. He didn't want to think what would happen to all of their kindness if the truth slipped somewhere.

"So I hear your husband is on the way," the girl with the basket mentioned, smiling rather perversely and Kanda's face felt hotter by the second. His memories flashed to the many conversations in the past and he knew this wasn't going down a safe road. It had taken everything in him not to die of embarrassment when they'd had him in the flower shop talking about easiest ways to have sex with your partner while heavily pregnant and what lurid things make orgasms more intense; just things he really wasn't prepared to hear out of such sophisticated women.

He nodded and whispered a soft confirmative. From the cover of his eye, he could see the twitching tail of Timcanpy as the golem wedged itself through folds in the fabric of his loose hanging Asian garb. The damnable creature meant that Cross was near—just hiding. That was fantastic, just another thing for him to tease him about if he ever got out of that strange quiet streak.

"That's wonderful, darling; I'll bring a nice baked thing in congratulations to your companion. Be sure to be kind to him, hm?"

He knew it.

"H…ah, yes," he stuttered, feeling like he was being pounced on by women wanting to push him right into his lover's lap—quite literally. He made the mistake once of mentioning how his stomach wouldn't stay settled and he'd never, ever, forget the suggestion the one girl gave him. Apparently the comfort club of women had determined the best remedy to ease an ill body was the seed of their man and Kanda was about ten seconds from taking a swim at just how embarrassing it was to actually discuss…With _women_.

"Oh, your salve is also ready to be picked up whenever you'd like, my dear," she placed a small, colorful fruit in his hand and deeply encouraged him to eat it.

"I was going to pick it up on the way back," he muttered, staring down at the fresh apple. The fact that someone was making him a salve to ease the discomfort of his stretching skin was just…drilling into his mind in the worst ways—bringing him back to that time when he was thin and fit. Now he was slow, large and teeming with problems of every variety. He could barely recognize himself and that made him tighten his grip on the apple in frustration. Frustration didn't show outwardly, other than that; but he felt it thoroughly.

He shouldn't be in a strange town with people who were insanely kind, being treated with so much care for a condition he should never be in…while waiting for a person who should not be infecting every portion of his mind like this. He shouldn't be thinking of names. He shouldn't be thinking of food. He shouldn't be wondering if his partner would protest to the suggestions these women had given him.

He should be on the field, fighting Akuma. He should be training his skills. He should be doing a lot of other things. Instead he was—.

Flutters at his side crashed the train of thoughts—derailing all of his internal contemplation and bringing him back down to the reality waiting for him. This was a struggle, but it wasn't. He was struggling because his cold countenance was breaking slowly from months of shifting into what he felt was a completely different creature. Yet, it was easy because the little movements in his body seemed to validate all the trouble leading up to this.

Augh.

Allen would never let him live it down if he knew that Kanda was having actual positive feelings. Though Kanda knew those small moments of not despising every aspect of this would be short lived anyway.

"Would you like to walk back with us?"

He inhaled and his shoulders sagged tiredly. Being surrounded by them meant that Cross wouldn't come dragging him back like a man-handling asshat. He submitted, preparing to withdraw his feet from the pond—idly watching the slimy creatures left behind in their blissful ignorance of the outside world; much like the small bodies within his own body.

"That would be fine."

**To be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: At long last I come back! I sincerely apologize for the lag on this, I hit an unexpected creativity streak with another story and 90 thousand words later I had a complete trilogy done. Which I should mention that my fic blog on tumblr is the best place to keep up with updates on what I'm working on. Sometimes I'll even post chapters early there, so if you've got a tumblr, Eucalyptic that blog. But, now that I'm done with Wound/Traces/Scars, I can come back to the ones who need more attention. I will try to keep this much more regular! Thanks for sticking with me [if you're still there xD]_

_also, to the person who gave me sass about "picking up the pace, my ass", bite me. Sincerely. If you dislike the pace of the story, then don't read. If you don't like my uploading schedule, then you should take a look at my page and think about how much I actually write and how much I work to give these stories to people to read for no gain of my own. I'm a writer because I like to be. So please, don't sass me. You haven't earned that right. _

_Everyone else, thank you thank you and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!_


	29. Calm

**Incubation  
><strong>_Part 29_

"You could have stepped in a lot sooner, you know," a voice hissed lowly, through lips that were turned into a taut snarl. Kanda was seated in the shop as the lady put together a few other things and gave him a chance to rest before they departed again. He was tired and the trip back to town after the pond took a lot more out of him than he thought it would. His hip kept popping and his muscles screamed up his thigh in soreness. Those things, however, weren't what Kanda needed saving from.

"I thought the conversation was rather interesting," Cross mused, taking a sip from a locally made fresh wine.

"Of course you would, you fucking creep," Kanda spit, voice laced with a strain of humiliation involved with that fucking conversation. His impressions of women were being ruined by the day and he desperately wanted to go back to thinking that they were classy creatures who didn't talk about _sucking dick_ and the various methods to do it comfortably while almost ready to have a baby fall out of their lady parts. He shuddered. He was not a misogynist, but he also didn't want to know half of the things he learned. He didn't actually need to know how often some women participated in sex all the way up to labor.

Hell, he didn't even know they could still do it all the way up to the last days. Disturbingly enough, he also learned that it wasn't uncommon for them to do it to encourage labor. How did that even work? He'd just shut his mouth at that point, because he didn't need to know. It wasn't like he was doing this the traditional way anyway and the less he had to think about it, the less likely he was going to turn colors when the topic brushed by him later. He wasn't stupid, but he really didn't have the largest information bank on women and half of their discussions left him acutely uncomfortable with the mental images.

"You made out fine, didn't you?" The redhead's sultry voice made his nostrils flare with irritation. He had nerve to be so casual in his awkward moments. Cross brought him to this damned place after all, this was his fault.

"No thanks to you," he grumbled down into a piece of fruit. His jaw twitched because of the overwhelming shots of flavor, leaving him with the most unsettling combination of disgust and enjoyment. He disliked sweet things in large quantities, but damned if he didn't find himself eating fruit every chance he got.

"You were the one who insisted on going alone, boy. I did my duty in following you, but where you ended up was your own misfortune," Cross mused, flicking the end of his cigarette into Tim before he could be seated anywhere by Kanda. His dumb apprentice made certain to make a deal out of it once before.

"I've had to deal with you personally for more than I ever wanted, is it wrong to want to be out of your sight?"

"I'm here to protect you, ungrateful wretch. I could just leave you here," the man's expression wasn't as serious as his voice, but it still left an uncomfortable chill down Kanda's spine. "Then he'll see how the village ladies handle you when you go in labor and see if you don't end up being left to die for being an abomination of hell."

Kanda stayed quiet, despite the multitude of things he wanted to immediately say. Instead of making that scene, he boiled quietly in his distaste for Cross Marian. For being such a great person—according to the rest of the morons at the Order—he was certainly a large asshole about everything concerning Kanda. He wondered what the root of that was and if he was actually uncomfortable with the fact that Allen had gotten himself that involved in someone. He was at fault for that, he supposed. The soft turning in his gut didn't get there by itself and the actions that cause that sort of thing would never happen if he wasn't accepting of it.

"Beansprout would have your head if you tried," he finally did retort, running his fingers over the left side of his belly and kneading over the skin. It felt like an itch, but not quite; almost like fingertips pressing back and he tried not to think about it too much. Now that his brain had connected what it was, it was something he felt acutely. He didn't realize they would move so much. There was originally an assumption somewhere that babies just laid in a tiny sac motionlessly for nine months before they were born—which he now knew wasn't such a pleasant thing at all. Hearing one of the mistresses in labor screaming from several rooms away, a few days back, didn't really help ease anything. His only comfort was that he didn't have to push a sizeable sack of fragile bones and flesh from an exit barely comfortable taking an above average male reproductive organ without a little easing—much less two of those.

His face must have reflected his thoughts, because he turned his eyes to Cross to find a curious expression and he realized he must not have heard what the man said in response to that. He blinked and redirected his gaze, frowning like he'd been cornered again. It was probably some snide remark left for him that would have made him feel stupid, he was sure; but he was partially grateful not to have heard it. "Can we just go back now?"

"You have to wait for your items, my lady," the redhead leaned on his arm with his tongue leaving a snappy click to his words. It was almost like Cross was set on punching him with his tone and eventually he'd figure out why. Was this something he did to everyone or was it just Allen and apparently now him? The talk about this man had always given an impression that he was intelligent, slick and strong; but Kanda was starting to see a drunken asshole with a brain. One out of three wasn't that great really.

Cross's need to dig at every opportunity [and leave him hanging in others] left him feeling agitation that needed to go away. At least if Allen was around, he'd have a buffer. But no, Allen Walker the genius extraordinaire, couldn't board a train to save his fucking life.

"I can always pick them up tomorrow, I don't feel so great and if sleeping means I don't have to see your stupid face, I'll take it," Kanda hissed lowly, to keep his words from travelling too far. Showing such antagonism would be extremely unsightly in his position—even if he wanted to spit in the man's face more than ever. The greatest challenge lied in remembering that Cross was his doctor essentially and held his life in the palm of his hand.

"You made the choice to come out here, now stew in it, girl."

Choice words never made it to his tongue, even if they were so very close to slipping over the edge. It was actually Timcanpy that drew his barbed tongue back and, instead, pulled his curious eyes down. The little yellow golem was teetering on the inside of a fold in his clothing, placed comfortably over the left side of his belly and wiggling his stumpy little arms and legs while his faceless…face was planted flat against that spot where he had felt movement. Kanda watched Tim's tail bounce and wave excitedly—in the same manner he remembered him acting when he reunited with Allen after any separation.

"Looks like Tim knows what you have in there," Cross's voice crept into his brain and made him want to hiss at him. Even when he had nothing particularly scathing to say, he found a way to irk Kanda tremendously. It was possibly a combination of his annoyance with Cross's dismissive attitude and his partial loneliness without Allen there to settle between. Not that Allen was particularly great at stopping Cross from being a total dick, but he was a strange kind of support for when Kanda got snappy and stood up to him. When there was no gain out of it, Kanda just didn't feel there was a point in trying.

"Yeah, well he can stop that," Kanda swatted at Tim and the golem scampered across the front of him—zipping over his shoulder and pouncing down on to the table, where he rolled himself over to Cross and squeezed himself under the man's hand. Tim's tail hung off the table, but kept swinging like he was excited. Maybe Tim was excited and being swatted away wasn't enough to stop that strange little thing from expressing it. That sometimes confused Kanda, because he was under the impression that Tim was just a golem with a bit more personality carved into it than most, but it almost appeared to be a responsive creature of sorts. From what he knew, Cross apparently made the thing, so it was possible that Tim just possessed an overabundance of personality—quite like his oppressively irritating creator.

"At least someone is happy about this, hm?" Cross muttered—voice laced irritatingly with amusement—as he lifted his hand and scooped Tim up to toss him back over at Kanda. Tim caught himself with a few strong flutters of his wings and flew right into Kanda's hair. The golden ball nestled on his head with his tail batting at Kanda's shoulder happily.

"Did you forget about beansprout?" Kanda grunted—his hands immediately going up to fish Timcanpy off his head. The squirming little shit just rolled around and managed to escape his grasp for a few swipes before he was able to yank him off by the tail. The golem just wiggled with its lively little spongy body dangling about. Kanda had half a mind to toss him, but didn't in order to be polite to the people who were kind to him. He was sure that hurling Tim across the shop would damage something and—as good as that would feel—he did not want to have to explain why he'd done that or what Timcanpy even was. The little yellow annoyance was fairly good at playing dead and could be easily mistaken for a freakish little doll. Throwing him would probably change that impression a bit. Or make Kanda look a tad crazy—which wasn't that far from the truth with how much time he'd unfortunately spent with Cross Marian.

The redhead next to him was at least civil to a point where he didn't have to keep his guard up entirely. At some point, it was just easier to give up and slack against the man and let his pride die a little while he leeched off the man's abundant energy. For Cross being older—god knows how old—he had the fitness of a healthy young person and Kanda could tell just from his spent time with him. Cross wasn't a slouch—despite his strong appearance of one. He was, after all, a General and a damn good one at that. That was no secret and even Kanda could respect a presence like that—even if he had little to no respect for the man as a person.

Still, it was a bit of a wonder that he could just lean off to the side, putting a small bit of weight into the tilt, and press shoulders with Cross without either of them making much attempt to break it—or recoil, like he had with Lavi. It certainly wasn't because Cross was essentially his doctor. Komui didn't have anywhere near the same effect—actually the opposite. Kanda wanted nothing to do with Komui about one-hundred percent of the time.

He exhaled, his eyes slipping until his vision went dark a bit. There was a drowsy haze that settled over him and he knew it would strike him like that. It always did. When he moved more than a few minutes at a time and he came back to resting state, his energy level bottomed out and he could almost sleep anywhere—as evidenced by his lean on Cross that was beginning to get heavier. Cross didn't protest, he just shifted and leaned back, putting an arm behind Kanda and resting it on the table so he wasn't trapped without a hand free.

"Don't fall asleep on me yet, boy," Cross stated, blandly, looking over Kanda to make sure it was just tiredness and not something else. Since his dehydration episode, Cross had to keep his attention meticulously on every detail. Kanda'd been drinking as many liquids as he could force into the boy without making him sick and he'd been eating more than enough healthy things, thanks to the insistence of the villagers. He'd picked this little village because he'd been here before and he knew, if any place, this would be the most accepting place to a pregnant stranger with a curiously absent husband and a well-known womanizer catering to 'her'.

"I'm not," Kanda replied, but he was almost lying with how long it took to blink and cast a defiant glance up at Cross. The gaze was missed, however, because the obnoxious redhead was looking off elsewhere. For a moment, Kanda observed that same strange expression that'd been pissing him off for a while. Cross was acting weird and it wasn't because he was drunk eighty-five percent of the time. He opened his mouth to ask, but movement in his hand reminded him that he still had Timcanpy in his grasp. Begrudgingly, he let the little fucker go and it bounced around in his lap a time or two before it hopped over to Cross and flattened himself into the man's collarbone and wiggled his way into his shirt to hide himself from the people that were moving back their way.

Kanda inhaled and exhaled slowly. He wanted to ask, but the chance was gone and that only made him more frustrated. He'd been planning to confront the flighty bastard when he returned, so he'd just have to wait. Living with this bastard for weeks was enough to make him understand how to deal with him and how to work in topics that he might flee from with scathing commentary. Kanda was an observer and Cross broadcast himself unintentionally to a person who was beginning to actually feel people beyond physical touch and appearance. Reading his aura was like listening to music. Here and there a key was missed and it wasn't unnoticed—despite how well the man tried to cover it up with stronger notes.

His question had been choked by a small girl that he'd seen with the shop keeper. She had a small basket in her hands and he could only assume it was what they were waiting for. He'd seen this brat around before; he'd just never made any attempt to interact with her in any fashion. Kids weren't really his forte and especially not small girls who seemed to smile a whole lot more than he cared to look at. When his mood was poor—which was most of the time—he didn't want to have a squeaky, chirping mouse rattling pleasantries at him. Though, he had to admit that she didn't seem to be quite that type of child—not like the others had been.

When he'd first arrived, he'd been run into by a little boy who'd turned on him and actually had the nerve to call him a bitch. He wasn't sure exactly where that sort of behavior stemmed from, but he was beginning to believe that the boy wasn't actually a member of this community, because he'd not seen him since. That fuss was quickly nullified by Cross, when the tall bastard had stepped between Kanda and the little brat. Kanda was ready to break his arms, but Cross just looked at the kid and he'd run off. That was some kind of look. Still, he'd not really been in any type of contact with children outside of that—despite the number of them running about. He's just heard them—listening to them scream and cry; it made him withdraw until he spent most of his time sleeping or walking away from them.

He would have two of those and the idea was mystifying and horrifying, rolled up with unbelievable all at once. Times like these, he needed Allen for the sake of someone to talk to. Cross was worthless at these moments, because he couldn't talk personally. Cross might have been incapable of it, Kanda had considered. Someone in that man's position must have some kind of weakness. Personal relationships were probably among those—though he couldn't explain why. He didn't really need to know personal details of Cross—he didn't like the man enough. Though, he did like him marginally more than he had in the beginning; which still wasn't a whole lot.

"This is for you, ma'am," the girl smiled at him—her face a bit dirty and missing a tooth. She had tiny little hands and he couldn't help but watch them as they clung to the basket she was holding out. She was tiny and fragile. She was something that needed to be protected from bigger; dangerous things and he understood this to be a truth to all children. They were dependent. He was bigger, a protector, strong and there would be small creatures depending on his abilities. Shit. He really hated kids for just existing at that moment. "It'll help you feel better!"

She must have been around six or seven, if he was to guess—though his guesses weren't all that accurate given his own skewed timeline. She was young, either way, but also polite.

"You'll have to forgive her, little missy," Cross's voice almost startled him as he watched the girl intently—taking in how she moved and the pitch of her voice. Stupid small details he never had the chance to really focus on before. Children weren't really subjects he put much thought into. He didn't want to be putting thought into them now. This was why he needed Allen. "She's quite shy."

"I am not," he snapped; his breath sliding between his teeth in a low hiss. Cross had that smug taunt in his tone and he wanted to strangle him all over again.

"It's okay, I was shy too!" The girl smiled and patted his knee after she put the basket on the seat beside him. He had to remember that kids were innocent still and she couldn't tell that he had animosity for Cross leaking off him like he was bleeding it. He just had to force his face to be as passive—perhaps as close to pleasant—as possible and pretend to know how to speak to children for long enough for her to vanish.

"You don't seem too shy now," Cross continued, as if he was taking the burden off Kanda and showing him how to talk to kids. That may not have been what it was, but it's what it felt like and Kanda just stayed silent and listened. Perhaps he was being obvious in how much every little thing involving children was screwing with his head. The little fluttering in his side didn't make it easier now—actually having it sink in as hard as it was. In six years—assuming he was alive—some pairs of tiny hands and small voices would be standing in front of him and he'd be calling them his own.

What a thought—a thought he needed to unthink before he started to have unsettling emotions take him over again.

"Because nice people let me stay here!" She bleated softly; cheerful, but not overwhelming about it. Behind her, another woman appeared—a woman Kanda could identify as one of the shop keepers. He'd been here a few times, but rarely interacted with more than just her and perhaps a lady or two who'd been there at the pond. Certainly no children ever bothered him. The woman put her hand on the girl's shoulder and shooed her gently. The little girl waved and bounced off again.

"Her mother died in childbirth," she explained, as if the question has been asked. "She stays with us and earns her keep in the shop. Though, it's mostly just delivering little things here and there," she smiled, nodding to the basket. "Everything you need's in there hon. Don't let Mr. Marian get out of carrying that for you," she shot a look at Cross and he just turned his head away as if he was dismissing her attitude itself. "Don't get coy with me, sir. I know how you are."

"Woman speaks nonsense," he grunted in a half chuckle, uncrossing his leg from his knee and putting both feet flat on the floor.

"You know her?" Kanda whispered to Cross, not wanting to direct questions at people he wasn't personally familiar with. He had a hard enough time talking to Cross, let alone people who didn't even know his real name.

"You could say that," he eyed her again and she put hands on her hips.

It didn't take a genius to interpret what was going on there. Kanda wasn't even close to genius and he was putting the pieces together. "Are there any women you haven't slept with?"

"The question of the decade, you ask, young lady," the shop keeper cut in and laughed. So at least Cross didn't leave the women with scorn for him—which surprised Kanda somewhat. He earnestly thought Cross was some kind of scum bag, womanizing bastard by the way Allen spoke. But this woman seemed to have no ill feelings towards him and didn't even seem to question what he was doing with a pregnant girl from the time they'd arrived. She was the reason they'd found a place to stay for a while—though he was sure Cross had something to do with obtaining their accommodations too. Did coming here have something to do with his stupid attitude lately?

He doubted it. It had to be something specific.

"Regardless, I put some nice herbs in there for you and if Mr. Marian will be a gentleman, you'll benefit from a nice foot rub. I'm sure the extra weight is taking its toll on you, hmm?"

Mortification probably couldn't be clearer on either of their faces and it certainly wasn't because it was voluntary. Kanda's mental image of Cross anywhere near him with any sort of fond touch was enough to make him abstain from human contact for the rest of his life and he was pretty certain that Cross was feeling more than the same on the subject.

"Her idiot husband should be arriving tomorrow," Cross announced, as if he wanted to completely crush that idea before it even became a possibility. "He can do it. She's a finicky creature and I would hate to disturb her while she incubates."

"I'm going to incubate my foot in your ass the first chance I get," Kanda hissed low enough that the words didn't carry to the shop keeper's ears well enough to be understood. Talking shit to Cross was never a good idea, but he was so far from in the mood to hear half of what his statement was comprised of. Allen wasn't his 'husband', he wasn't 'finicky' and he'd never be comfortable with the term incubate ever again. Being the test tube for an Innocence wasn't a garden of fresh roses that he was frolicking through. It was months of suffering, sickness, sore muscles, aching joints, and uncomfortable thoughts that made him feel like he was choking one moment and ready to scream until he passed out the next. Not to mention the strange instances where he felt unbearably nervous. These things passed, but he hated them all.

Thinking about children, like that little girl who brought the basket at his side, made everything worse too.

"We'd better get back, before she gets delirious on me," Cross just smiled, as though he were brushing Kanda's remark off—and that was exactly what he was doing. That was fine, because Kanda didn't want to be in town any more anyway; much less with Cross. He'd rather sleep and pretend he didn't have that big buffoon ruling his pathetically domestic life at that point.

He pushed himself away from Cross, casting him a heated look before he stood—putting way more effort than he cared to into righting himself. He bowed to the lady, whispering a thank you out of politeness, and he started shuffling toward the door.

The light batting against his hip and subsequent fumbling of cloth—on top of agitating squirming—told him that Timcanpy had followed him swiftly. He couldn't be alone at any point, it seemed; but at least Tim wouldn't talk back.

_Beansprout, I'm going to kill you if you aren't here tomorrow_, he exhaled; taking his steps carefully.

**To Be Continued…**

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><p><em>AN: SURPRISEEE. Yes I know it's been like three months but uh yeah I was too busy training to be a coma patient. I'm not that good at it, it turns out. I guess you're not supposed to check your email while pretending to be a vegetable. All jokes aside, I hope this chapter suffices for now while I get started on the next. This is a buildup chapter, so I apologize if it's not good enough for some of my finicky pickier reviewers._

_**That being said, Do. NOT. leave me reviews asking me to write you fanfics on anonymous**-then proceeding to follow it up with specific demands. And when I delete anonymous reviews that do not need to be there, that does not mean you go to my AO3 account and call me a "twat", "uncultured fuck" " self righteous, condescending immature little bitch" and then tell me to go fuck myself after you make weak suicide threats. I write for me, for my friends, for those who appreciate that I gain nothing but experience and love for my pairing. If you have questions you can note me privately, but my review section is not there to be spammed with "DO THINGS FOR ME!" Not how it works. I appreciate all my readers, but I can't appreciate readers who forget that I am a fleshy creature with feelings too._

_All that side, thank you for those who are still sticking with! I will make a goal to update this more often than 3 months, I promise!_


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